E-Mailbag for December 13, 2009

NintendoMaster wrote:

HairBall, you traitor! I want to be part of the staff but you didn't respond to my message! You WILL pay for this. Maybe.

Hairball: Can I pay you nothing? Because that is what you deserve.
Peachy: Does he respond to anyone's messages? Seriously, don't feel too special.
BeckerManEX: You want to be part of a staff who does one mailbag every four years? Harry, get this guy an ID!
Puffball: We start the interviewing process next year in 2010.

Devil McSatanface wrote:

Hello. I'm here to tell you about the newest flavour of Gatorade: Gatorade DOOM!! We took Gatorade, and added two cups of DOOM!!!

When you drink Gatorade doom, any sense of right and wrong you may have had will disappear, and you will become PURE EVIL! You'll cause death and destruction everywhere you go, and shoot way-cool lasers out of your eyes!

Gatorade DOOM!! Buy it, and raise some hell!

Hairball: Don't drink Gatorade, ok? It has too much sugar and is bad for you. Smart athletes just drink wtaer.
Peachy: 400 BABIES
BeckerManEX: It really does surprise me that these types of emails keep coming in damn near 10 years later. I mean really, its hard to believe that clueless people then were replaced by clueless people now.
Puffball: Oh, Satanface, didn't you know? There's a drink that already does that and its called alcohol.

camelCasing wrote:

I was quite amused at your last e-mailbag. But not because the responses were funny or because of the sheer number of idiots that believe your April Fools jokes. I was actually assumed at your lack of humorous responses. Basically all Solar did was talk about how he used to be "so bad" when he answered previous e-mailbags. Lady and gents I'm sorry to say, but it appears your maturity has rendered you unfunny. Irony deals a cruel hand.
I guess I'll ask you a Mario related question though. What's your opinion of Luigi as he appears in games today? It seems like back in the day he was the cool underdog, but ever since Luigi's Mansion, he has suddenly become a scaredy cat sidekick.

Hairball: I think Luigi's role in games today is much like your backup girlfriend/boyfriend. Not really important, kind of just around when you're bored.
Peachy: I was assumed, as well. Then again, most of us aren't young teenagers anymore, and we all know how much everyone hates teenagers.
BeckerManEX: Maturity? Us? Really?
Puffball: No, you don't get to bitch about the E-mailbag and still have us answer your retarded question about Luigi.

CHEESECAKE wrote:

ITS TIME FOR CHEESECAKE!!! STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE!! CARAMEL CHEESECAKE!! ILLEGAL CHEESECAKE, MADE BY A GUY NAMES MOLLY!

HEY! DO YOU LIKE CHEESECAKE, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE YOURSELF A DELICIOUS CHEESECAKE? Then try CHEESECAKE... IN A CAN!!!!

CHEESECAKE!

Hairball: Canned cheesecake? Wow, the food companies will do anything nowadays.
Peachy: FUCK CHEESECAKE. It blows.
BeckerManEX: Gross.
Puffball: DRUGS!!!

Arnold wrote:

So, I just read the latest e-mailbag. I've been coming to this site since August of 2003 and I'm surprised at how many faithful fans you guys still have, including me! I have to admit though, you guys are great at making April Fool's tricks! I did fall for the Mario Kart one because I had a thing for the N64 Mario Kart which was totally awesome. But seriously, you had people falling for these tricks like seeds on a bun lol.

Consider themeselves burned.

Hairball: Personally I prefer to eat non-seeded buns. Our next April Fools day will be the 10th one, stay tuned!
Peachy: ...consider yourself burned, actually, if you fell for one too.
BeckerManEX: Its almost to the point where it isn't funny to trick people anymore because its almost too easy. We could photoshop President Obama in Super Mario Kart and people would believe it.
Puffball: Well, good. Not that there's anything worth reading on this site.

Michael wrote:

Hi. I just wanted your individual opinions on this. One game I grew up with was Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars....what an amazing spectacle. The characters, story and music were just great. I heard a sequel was to be made some time ago, but it turned out to be the first Paper Mario game. Don't get me wrong, Paper Mario is another fantastic franchise, but since Square and Nintendo have reconciled, do you think there may be a chance of a true sequel coming out?

And I am also one who is impatiently waiting for the conclusion of the Super Mario Saga...please hurry, Solar!!

Keep up the great work on this site guys. I'm also at college and understand time constraints, but I still visit this page every chance I get. I love it here!

Hairball: Until Square and Nintendo make up, there probably never will be a real sequel to SMRPG. Solar's promises on the Super Mario Saga were so farfetched, even I didn't believe he'd get it done at the time. And I was right.
Peachy: I know absolutely zero about Seven Stars. As for Super Mario Saga, it's probably time to let that shit go. How many years has it been?
BeckerManEX: Square and Nintendo has "patched things up" as they would say, but I think another Mario RPG is not going to happen, at least at this time. Nintendo is banking on NEW Super Mario Bros. and the DS series of Mario & Luigi to keep the franchise up and about in between Galaxy entries.
Puffball: Nintendo and Square never "reconciled" to the full extent you're talking about. Square made some crappy ports and got a lot of money in return... I wouldn't even entertain the idea of Square making a Mario RPG!

RUPERT wrote:

Hello Super Mario.......

Hairball: Hello Rupert, how may I help you?
Peachy: Ciao, vai muoiono in un incendio!
BeckerManEX: Hello Rupert.......
Puffball: Whats up?

Dave wrote:

If you had to kill off one staff member of SM128C, who would it be and why?

Hairball: I'd kill off Solar just because he's such a douchebag, just hanging around at the beach picking up hot girls. Where's the Saga? Heck it's been so long that Nintendo stole his idea and made Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga.
Peachy: Aww, I love them all. Although there's only like three of us around anymore, and that's only sporadically. There was one who used to be a giant douche so let's say him. I don't remember his name, which means he doesn't matter.
BeckerManEX: Aw, that's not very nice (or ethical).
Puffball: I would kill the whole site or turn it into a blog.

Elder Blizz wrote:

I'm so glad Solar Gamer is bringing back the Super Mario Saga! I wouldn't have known if it weren't for the latest email bag (Aug 08).

Yay for the Super Mario Saga! Let the children rejoice! ^_^

-might be remembered from here as Sunshine Writer

Hairball: Did you really believe his empty promise? C'mon!
Peachy: Wait what? Did he really say that? Even so, it's been over a year since the last emailbag...
BeckerManEX: The last email bag was near 18 months ago?
Puffball: LOL!

Prior Tuck wrote:


Life and death, light and darkness, hope and despair. The rift was created, and on that day, the Ori were born. But the hatred of those who strayed from the true path festered and bloomed in the dark corners of the Avernakis to which they have been cast! And consumed by this hatred, they poisoned all they touched, bringing death, darkness and despair. And the souls of their victims knew no peace, until the Ori came and whispered to them: 'Sleep, for the end draws near!' And on that day all will rejoice, when the Ori come and lay them low.

Hallowed are the Ori.

Hairball: Is this something from the bible? I have no idea because I've never read the holy book. And because of that I'm going to hell.
Peachy: Is it sad that I knew that this is from Stargate SG-1, just by reading the first line?
BeckerManEX: Stargate fan are we?
Puffball: tl;dr

John McCain wrote:

If you guys don't stop, I'm going to get my butt buddy Al Gore to come over and close the site for you.

Hairball: Al Gore didn't invent the Internet for it to die.
Peachy: I'll just set manbearpig on him. I'm super serial.
BeckerManEX: Um, I highly doubt McCain (R) and Gore (D) are friends.
Puffball: Haha, election jokes!

GigaBowser86 wrote:

I found your Yoshi in Super Mario Galaxy prank, took a picture, and made a Rick Roll video! It can be found at my YouTube profile under the name GigaBowser86.

P.S.:The link for April 2008's joke takes me to the 2007 joke. Could you fix this if you don't have to much time on your hands?

Hairball: I see that you're part of the "Anti-Westboro Baptist Church Movement" on YouTube. Did you know if you hate God he'll send you to hell? Don't hate God.
Peachy: Hmm, I actually went and looked you up, and it said your account is suspended. What the fuck did you do?
BeckerManEX: We seriously need to stop the April Fools Jokes, we're hurting hundreds of people.
Puffball: Its already fixed.

Sage wrote:

Is there a diferent way to get yoshi?

Hairball: Yes.
Peachy: Cocaine's a hell of a drug
BeckerManEX: Yes, but you'll have to wait until April 1, 2010 to find out!
Puffball: No.

rafael wrote:

wer was mario born?

Hairball: No clue, can you tell me?
Peachy: Hmm...MARIO...what nationality is that name, I wonder...I guess we'll never know…
BeckerManEX: Brooklyn!
Puffball: Italy.

Nathan wrote:

What are the next Super Mario games and Super Luigi games?

Hairball: I think Super Mario Galaxy 2 is the next upcoming Mario game. Luigi is a loser so he doesn't deserve another game.
Peachy: yes.
BeckerManEX: Super Luigi would be kind of lame.
Puffball: Check a site that updates.

Tyler wrote:

hey I read the post on april first and I must say that is just wrong getting peoples hopes up to find that you can't get the super mario galaxy demo on wii shop channel. Well I think that is just sick.

Hairball: Usually people use "sick" to refer to things that are really bloody awesome. Since you are disappointed, how exactly is that "sick"? Or is it because my April Fools jokes are god damn good that makes me sick? Screw this, I'm sick of using the word sick, it's overused.
Peachy: I think it's sick to believe something that's clearly posted on April 1st.
BeckerManEX: If sick means fantastic, then we're totally sick!
Puffball: Yeah, what the fuck was he thinking?

Fan wrote:

Update your website?

Hairball: In case you didn't know, that's what we are doing right now? Jeez, people these days, expect so god damn much.
Peachy: Oui.
BeckerManEX: What do you think this is!
Puffball: GoNintendo.com is probably where the SM128c kids will want to head to.

Jorge wrote:

Is the Mario Sunshine + Mario 64 a april fools joke?

Hairball: No it is not. I only spread the good word.
Peachy: Jorge Garcia? I LOVE YOUR SHOW!!!
BeckerManEX: Jorge is a quick one isn't he?
Puffball: Hell no.

steven wrote:

I have the game super mario galaxy. I have heard several things and I dont know if any of them are true. But can you obtain THE CHARACTER yoshi in this game. I have tried to find him but I can't. I just want to know if you can even get the yoshi character and if you can how?

Hairball: Follow my instructions and you can get Yoshi. I'm sure I am right.
Peachy: Gullibility, it's a disease…
BeckerManEX: See the post on this site dated April 1st
Puffball: No.

antonio wrote:

Great, but the New Super Mario Bros and Super Mario Sunshine screenahots come from the beta versions of the games so please change them!

Hairball: This site sucks anyway, I try to update with this kind of thing, but someone else is always faster.
Peachy: I rebel against your authority.
BeckerManEX: We'll get right on it!
Puffball: Hairball's a lazy bastard.

speedchao wrote:

You should stop with the april fools jokes I told all these people about new play controll: mario sunshine/mario 64, but the weird thing is, I called a nintendo representitive and he said he can neither confirm or deny the games existance! If it wasn't real, he would have said so right? I mean he did check the databace... Maybe the day that that page was posted was a coincidance, but I won't know for sure until you post on this site that it was a coincidance.

Hairball: That's how corporate speak is like. Did you really think they'd give you a real response? You're the idiot, not me.
Peachy: AHAHA way to make yourself look like a tool!
BeckerManEX: Such spelling hurts my head.
Puffball: I can't confirm or deny my interest in this.

Sabre wrote:

Hello Hairball64. I am back from the dead to tell you to update your site. My soul is bound to your website and I cannot fully resurrect until your site has been updated. Also I am sure your viewers (if you have any left) would like to see some more content. I mean there are Mario Wii games for fuck sakes! On a side note, is this website even profitable anymore or are you paying out your ass to keep it up? That is all.

Hairball: Sabre? I did an IP scan and see that your IP address is from RBC Royal Bank of Canada. Stop surfing the net at work and do something useful like fixing the economic crisis.
Peachy: Who the hell is this? Is your existence even important?
BeckerManEX: Soul is bound huh? Disenchant!
Puffball: He always updates on the holidays.

Jackson Aldridge wrote:

I've recently become a crazy Princess Peach fan and am having difficulties navigating the website. Please email me as many links and updates and any thing else if possible. thanks, Jackson

Hairball: We don't do personal email responses. It takes away from my time that can be better spent doing things such as sleeping.
Peachy: If you're a guy, and have taken a seemingly unhealthy crazed interest in Princess Peach, of all things, maybe this isn't the kind of site you want to check out…go search around.
BeckerManEX: Somehow I think the police will be involved with Jackson in a few years.
Puffball: You might consider yourself a fan of her peach? No?

Ninji64 wrote:

First of all, this was my favorite Mario site back when I was around 14 years old. I'm 25 now and thought I'd stop in and send an email to your mail bag one again.

You see, I have a confession. My friends and I use to send all kinds of emails here with different names attached. It was always funny seeing what you all had to say about our stupid posts.

Anyway, I know you don't do much with the site anymore, but I just wanted to say thanks for the good times. The chat room was always a blast too.

Oh, and whatever happen to Guy In Green. He was awesome!

Hairball: That's why we're still around, to kind of keep our prescence continued on the Internet. We're probably the only Nintendo website that has random e-mailbag answers. As for GuyInGreen, from what I see on Facebook he seems to be crazy religious and a proud supporter of the United States Republican Party. I haven't talked to him in a long time though, but I was glad he sold me his GameCube WaveBird controller to me at a good price.
Peachy: The chat WAS a blast. I started coming here when I was like 12, and now I'm 22. It's really hard to believe it's been ten years.
BeckerManEX: I firmly believe that just about every entry in this mailbag is from one or two different people, there's no way stupidity runs so deep.
Puffball: Yes, in the end, it was always about the good times.

128 Fan wrote:

Just a question for you guys, what happened to all the Fanfics that you guys use to post on this site? Like umm The Super Mario Saga? I used to love reading it! I haven't checked here for quite a while...so things have changed. Oh well love the site and the April Fool jokes, specially the mario kart one.

Hairball: They were removed because it was ridiculously hard to update before I knew how to develop scripts. But now that everyone can just have blogs and whatever, just Google them!
Peachy: Honestly, I've never read a single Mario fanfic in my life, including the Super Mario Saga. Shame on me?
BeckerManEX: It seems that all we do is talk about the Saga!
Puffball: I think the Solar guy lost interest.

Terrie Liebst wrote:

What is the release date for the Super Mario 64/Super Mario Sunshine New Play Control for the WII. Is this going to be sold in stores or is it a download from the virtual WII.

Hairball: It'll be out when I let Nintendo release it because it is after all, my idea.
Peachy: ....SAD
BeckerManEX: Good news....[static]
Puffball: It is already out.