E-Mailbag for December 28, 2003

Luigi128 wrote:

I noticed that in the last e-mailbag, somebody complimented your site and asked for more character interviews. You basicly told him that you hated them. Good work, that guy will probably never come back after he reads your response. The problem is, you guys are all so messed up, that all the good stuff you ever had is actually embarrassing to you. That is pretty sad. I read those, they are about one of the only good things on this site, along with the layout, which really isn't very good. If you guys had started out this way, I don't think you would be anywhere near as popular as you are. Take it from an X-fan.

BeckerManEX: Does the "X" stand for "Xtreme?" In any event not all of us are messed up, only about 95% of us about 89% of the time. The mailbag, unfortunately, has turned into a circus sideshow of lame-brained insults and petty bickering, but it is fun to read, no?
Hairball: We all know how lame the character interviews are, the fact that you want to see more of those stupid interviews sure shows that you are a loser. You seem to hate SM128C, yet you keep coming back for more, what's with you?
TW: Oh shut up you whining faggot, why the fuck do you even come here anymore. Just because we have lives outside of the Interweb, and you sit around whining about how crap we are.
Tiger: Well, lots of people tend to hate us. But of course, that's the fault of the other idiot staffers here. X-fan? Wow, so do you have super powers or something?
Peachy: um loser.

Wendy O. Koopa wrote:

1. How much for SM128c?
2. What Specal Sevices?

BeckerManEX: 1. To buy it? $3.50; 2. None.
Hairball: SM128C is worth over $1 billion US, or if you are able to satisfy SolarGamer, then you can have it for free.
TW: Hmm, $64,000.
Tiger: Million bucks, if you can tell me what a "specal sevice" is exactly.
Peachy: ........................wtf. "Specal Sevices". SSSSSSPPPPELLLLLIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG!!!!!

A member of the KKK wrote:

WHITE POWER!!!!!

BeckerManEX: You must be proud of your bigot self.
Hairball: BLACK POWER!!!!
TW: They make White Powerade now?
Tiger: Krazy Koopa Kids!
Peachy: haha i bet you're actually black like in that Dave Chappel skit.

Jon wrote:

What I don't understand, is why Super Mario RPG never got a sequel. They're giving one to Paper Mario, but I'd much rather see a Super Mario RPG sequel. Do you guys know of any plans of a sequel to "Legend of the Seven Stars?"

BeckerManEX: ...
Hairball: Apparently Paper Mario is the sequel to Super Mario RPG, way back in 1997 or so they were calling that game Super Mario RPG 2, and then it had numerous name changes, and finally became Paper Mario. But whether or not the game is exactly a sequel really depends on how you look at it, it's more of a continuation of the series.
TW: Nope, no plans. Square is too busy with Final Fantasy 13-26.
Tiger: I dont think it's coming, since it's such an old game, and now Mario & Luigi is out..
Peachy: Of course we do, because we are Nintendo.

Lori wrote:

Do you have Super Mario Advance Game boy Advance instruction. I bought it without instruction. Help!

BeckerManEX: You may be able to find a copy of the instruction manual on eBay or at your local used game store, although you most likely won't be able to buy it without purchasing the game. At one time Nintendo sold replacements, but with a game like Super Mario Advance, you really don't need an instruction manual to play.
Hairball: No, we do not provide instructions on SM128C, try looking around on Google and you'll probably find what you want.
TW: Go to The Mushroom Kingdom site, SM128C Affiliate.
Tiger: Go to gamefaqs.com and read a guide.
Peachy: go to gamefaqs.com

Dantes Bermudez wrote:

How come in the GameCube Instrution booklet, in the How to use the memory card section they shoh the word Super Mario 64 logo in the picture? and are they going to make Super Mario 64 again exept for GameCube?

BeckerManEX: No, they simply are using logos that everyone would recognize, or to get your attention to read that part of the instruction booklet. It got your attention didn't it?
Hairball: Yes of course, we reported the Super Mario 64 re-release, in April of this year, check our archives for more details!
TW: http://www.sm128c.com/april2003/sm64gc.html
Tiger: I don't think we'll see a Mario platformer in the near future.
Peachy: poop.

Ann wrote:

Dear SM128C Mailbag responders,
Is it just me, or was it REALLY stupid to not add Luigi to Super Mario Sunshine. I mean come on. People bitch and moan when he is not in Super Mario 64, so why did they decide to leave him out of this game?

BeckerManEX: Becuase he had his own game, Luigi's Mansion, so Nintendo figured people wouldn't mind so much because of that fact. Hopefully Super Mario 128 will feature both Mario Bros.
Hairball: How is it stupid? It's perfectly fine for the consumer to bitch, and it's up to the producer to meet the demands, but how would YOU know that he's not in the game? Did you check every nook and corner? What if Luigi's in the game?
TW: Because he had HIS OWN GAME, for gods' sake.
Tiger: Well, you can blame Nintendo and their brilliant gaming schemes. They probably wanted you to buy Luigi's mansion for the green action.
Peachy: Because they are specifially trying to piss you off. In their meetings, the main goal was: "Let's piss Ann off".

Aimee wrote:

I am trying to find some black and white printable pictures of Mario if you know of anywhere I can find some please let me know this is the only site I can find that has pictures of mario. Thanks!

BeckerManEX: You can use any picture of Mario that you find on the web and set your printer settings to B&W other than color (assuming you have a color printer).
Hairball: We have plenty of Mario pictures on the site, just print them in black and white, and voila, you have exactly what you want. But lack of colour is dull, isn't it?
TW: This site is the only site.
Tiger: Just print the color pictures in greyscale, unless you are trying to make a mario coloring book. In that case, I can't help you there.
Peachy: Just use a program and change it to black and white.

Gamer X wrote:

i have heard that mario 128 will be shown at the E3 2004. If that is so then there should be a american relese date within 6 months. Do you think it would be wiser for nintendo to relese mario 128 as a game for there next gen system or for the "aging" gamecube?

BeckerManEX: GameCube still has two more Holiday seasons to go, and two solid years. Rumors persist that we will get a sequel to The Wind Waker on GameCube, as well as a sequel to the excellent Metroid Prime. The GameCube, aside from losing some touchy 3rd Party Support is still a strong platform with lots of good games to come, including the upcoming Resident Evil 4 from Capcom. As for Mario 128, it could go either way. I would love to see a sequel on GameCube, but in the last few generations we have only ever recieved one true Mario game in the lifespan of a console, I'm not sure if Nintendo is willing to alter that stance.
Hairball: It's possible the game might be shown at E3, but after years of following Nintendo, they are probably giving us BS, and it's doubtful that another Mario platformer will appear on the GameCube, which is disappointing.
TW: It should be on Gamecube.
Tiger: SM128 for reals? I'll see when I go to e3 next year.
Peachy: don't care.

Fuzzy wrote:

Tiger is the only semi-normal person on this website. The rest of you should go to hell.(Are Tiger and HB really getting married?)

BeckerManEX: I won't be going to hell anytime soon (considering I don't believe in a hell), and no, they are not getting married.
Hairball: Damn you Fuzzy, how did you find out about the secret crush I had on Tiger?
TW: Oh Shut Up.
Tiger: Semi-normal? I guess that is a compliment, but considering I don't like HB all that much (all don't take it too hard ;)) and that we live in two different countries, that must be some big lie or conspiracy at work.
Peachy: YAY!!! I'M NOT NORMAL!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!

Scott Koopa wrote:

What was/is N64DD and why was it never relesed outside of Japan?

BeckerManEX: The 64DD was an add-on to the Nintendo 64 console. It featured a disc similar to a DVD-RAM disc (a re-writable disc inside of a plastic caddy) that was suppose to offer expansion opportunities to existing games, as well as broader the scope of new games. The system was released in Japan, but very late in the N64's lifecycle. With the history that SEGA had with the 32X and SegaCD, Nintendo wisely realized that the 64DD wouldn't sell in America as releasing an add-on to a console successfully cuts your user base by 75% (remember how much trouble it was to get the Expansion Pack released in the US). The 64DD offered nothing special other than a track editor for F-Zero X and a few Misc. games that no one in the United States or Canada would want to buy in the first place. The support for the system just wasn't there.
Hairball: The 64DD is a magnetic-disk drive addon to the N64, basically this allowed games to have additional memory (probably more than what a memory card would allow) to utilize for various purposes. But with memory so cheap nowadays, it's unlikely such a concept will ever appear again.
TW: N64 Drive that took CD's. I guess Nintendo didnt think it was profitable.
Tiger: I totally forgot what that was. Some hard drive? I just remember it didn't sell too well...
Peachy: because.

Denny wrote:

Is Waluigi in Wario World?

BeckerManEX: Haven't picked this one up yet, so I can't say.
Hairball: I have no clue, but from what I've seen Wario World is probably a queer game, as I saw it heavily discounted at Wal-Mart today, with plenty of stock available.
TW: Try the Western Hemisphere.
Tiger: Didn't play the game outside of e3 2003, so I can't say much. Sorry.
Peachy: ponies.

ShyGuy wrote:

Hello! I enjoyed your site to death so much I was going to offer you a special service (which I will now not). Untill I read your mailbag. I saw that your staff was being cruel to people who just want to know things or wanted to say anything to guys. But you insulted them! You cuss at them and be rude for no reason. THESE PEOPLE ARE YOUR FANS! They love your site enough they want to talk to you. As for my service, it would have been very special indeed but after seeing what you guys have been saying to your fans for the last years I thiink I'll offer it to TMK or another site that has the decency not to be mean to their fans. Thank You and Goodbye. You have just lost a fan

BeckerManEX: This site seems to be losing a whole lot of fans lately, I'm glad I only freelance.
Hairball: Ooooh.. what special service would you provide for us? You are just like that guy called Luigi128, you claim that you hate us, but you know deep down inside you really love SM128C. Some people deserve to be insulted, such as people we call lamers, perhaps like this individual who sent in this email.
TW: Of course we will accept your services fine sir. Please, do not feel offended by my subjects.
Tiger: Yeah, the other staffers love to poke fun at people that can't type. But many who send letters can't type that well anyhow, so there you go. Flames explained.
Peachy: If we're loosing fans, then how is it that we MAKE these emailbags?

The Girl Who Sat Behind You in Algebra wrote:

hey harry i used to be in your algebra class.. i liked you a lot, harry.. please fuck me

BeckerManEX: I'm, uh, going to pass on answering this one. Ewwww...
Hairball: Hmmmm... I believe last year in my algebra class I sat at the back of the room, so it's impossible for a girl to be sitting behind me. But however, there was a girl sitting in front of me, and another sitting beside me, but honestly I don't find either very attractive.
TW: Harry Li, or Prince Harry?
Tiger: He's probably getting excited just by reading this.
Peachy: awww, Hairball has a gf. Rape her.

King Kong wrote:

DUDE! When you guys gonna get a new layout? Not a new banner, but a new LAYOUT, like a new format??! YEESH! This one is boring! I know you guys are old now but still

BeckerManEX: This is an old layout, but compared to the original and previous layouts to N64 to the 64th Power and N64+PLUS (a site Harry and I jointly put together a few years ago), this is much better.
Hairball: A new layout will not be possible until the entire site is converted to PHP, this probably won't happen in a long time, so just live with the design. I mean, a design like wine, gets better with age...
TW: Sometime in 2004.
Tiger: The current layout is nice and is to the point, so I think it'll stick around for a little while longer.
Peachy: haha, FAG.

??? wrote:

Is Solar a boy or a girl?

BeckerManEX: Boy, we think.
Hairball: Hmmmm... that must be one of the unsolved mysteries of mankind.
TW: Somewhere in the middle.
Tiger: Solars not a boy, he's a LITTLE boy. ;)
Peachy: hermaphrodite.

KarmaChameleon wrote:

hi it my birtday on the sevent of octber and i just wanted you 2 know that this site roxorz my boxorz11!!1!1
...
OK, seriously, This site is at least decent. Your choice of material (Mature Mario humor in e-mail bags) is about as good as Bait Bus, and I must say I appreciate your promptness with updating for news articles, even if you don't update regular material quite so often.
Oh, and P.S., Good riddance to SolarGamer, wherever he is. He can go lick his own balls in his swastika-themed room, for all I care. Gay or racist jokes = not funny.

BeckerManEX: I stopped reading after your 10 year old wanna-be-hacker speak.
Hairball: Solar is probably bisexual, he seems to want to fuck both men and women, he just can't seem to get enough action.
TW: As they say, News is good news.. or not?
Tiger: Tell that to Solar the man. Thanks for the site compliment, contrary to many of the complaints we get.
Peachy: loser.

Impact009 wrote:

This site still hasn't changed a single bit after all these years. Oh well, the same old dirty humor is still fun. I'll just come back once every few months or something.

BeckerManEX: That's about how often they update this place, so you aren't missing much.
Hairball: We will never change, our lighthearted comments in our emailbag is what gives everyone a great time (no not in that sense).
TW: On February 16, 2004 the site is being sold to IGN. We are becoming IGN-Mario.
Tiger: Yay, thank you for your continued support.
Peachy: ditto.

A Softwere Salesmen wrote:

How Much Softwere do you want to buy?

BeckerManEX: You have been watching too much TV.
Hairball: The amount of software I buy depends on how much I can attain for free.
TW: 500 illegal betas of Longhorn.
Tiger: I don't buy "softwere."
Peachy: 50 bazillion tons.

Bruise wrote:

This site Ownz All I have'nt laughed so hard since i was a little girl. The Gay E-mails are what keep the Site Alive. oh yea and Solar IS gay ^_^

BeckerManEX: No Comment.
Hairball: Bruise, you are really asking for it... yes your email is quite gay.
TW: The old Saga is at http://www.sm128c.com/stories/ (I am SO tempted to complete this sentence)
Tiger: Tell Solar that to his boyfriend! ;)
Peachy: Welcome to the sm128c gay emailbags. For gay cyber with Hairball, press 1. For gay cyber with Solar, press 2. For rape with Netty, press 3.

Sarah wrote:

I want to play

BeckerManEX: Then do so.
Hairball: I want to play with you, Sarah.
TW: MARIO!!
Tiger: It's bright and sunny outside, so out out to play.
Peachy: ...with myself!!!

Kitsune wrote:

Wow. The N-Gage really bombed, everywhere. I wonder why? Oh yeah, maybe because IT'S A F*CKING RIPOFF.

BeckerManEX: Not so much of a rip-off as an ill-concieved device that really never needed to be made. The first indication that Nokia had messed up was when you had to remove the battery to change the game cart.
Hairball: Nokia cell phones are cool, but the N-Gage seems to have damaged that image.
TW: Correct.
Tiger: It's not a ripoff, it's just impractical.
Peachy: n-gage sucks..

Lauren wrote:

Do you know what the next Mario game will be, and what system it will be on?

BeckerManEX: It is code-named "Mario 128" and it might appear on GameCube or Nintendo's 5th System.
Hairball: Probably what is currently known as "Mario 128", and who knows what it will be on.
TW: Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour, Released in Q2 2004 on the Nintendo GAMECUBE. There's a European Answer for you.
Tiger: Not sure, but in the meanwhile you might want to check out Mario and Luigi to play while you wait.
Peachy: poop.

cunt wrote:

why the hell havent you updated the e-mail bag?! its october 27 angd you guys are just lazzzy fatasses who wont update it.

P.s hairball sucks himself

BeckerManEX: we are updating now, happy?
Hairball: It's around December 27, and there still hasn't been many updates at all. And I'm not fat, our staff member Homer is obese though.
TW: No, Its DECEMBER 27 YOU FOOL!
Tiger: Here you go, it's updated now. Hurrah.
Peachy: Maybe we did do the emailbag, but no one sent it in until now. o_O

Payam wrote:

Hi I really appreciate you doing a site for this childhood memory of mine hero Mario! I wanted to work with some Mario pics..was wondering if you had some advice for me....

Basically, how do you manipulate the Mario/Luigi characters image? Like your header logo, you have mario holding the "Super" text.

Also, for example, www.buyritegames.com you can see mario etc in many customized positions.

Please help as I dont know how to do this in photoshop!:)

Also, doyou have a resource to obtain these images from?

BeckerManEX: A press login for Nintendo's asset pages, but you can usually find graphics all over the web. The best ones to use are already in PSD format (Photoshop's native format) and all it takes is some manipulation of layers to get the desired effect.
Hairball: This is confidential information, and I cannot disclose this to you.
TW: I don't know
Tiger: Manipulate? You want to decapitate poor Mario and Luigi? They sure don't deserve it for being your childhood hero..
Peachy: ok i didn't even bother reading that.

HEHE wrote:

In Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour, Daisy sounds like a fucking valley girl. And Bowser has a weak roar. What gives?! How you guys noticed?

BeckerManEX: Again, I haven't had a chance to pick this one up since I've been buried under reviewing PC games.
Hairball: Are you implying that Daisy and Bowser engage in S&M?
TW: How do you know? Its not out till May! (EU)
Tiger: Yeah, but Daisy was always the little miss priss. Always getting captured by Bowser, and Mario always saving her. A little tiring eh? Bowser is probably hoarse from all his roaring from previous titles.
Peachy: Daisy is a lesbian and Bowser is gay. Welcome to the wonderful world of Mario.

AlohaJoe wrote:

Even if Solar doesn't contact you before Nov. 30th, please bring back the Old Saga. Not to say I don't like the new one, but I really like the old one too. So, will you bring it back anyway? The Saga is really the only reason I check out this site. No offense. Some of the other stuff is interesting, but the Saga is the best. Thanks!

BeckerManEX: It puzzles me as to why everyone loves that story so much.
Hairball: Keep waiting, and maybe Solar will return with his Saga one day or another.
TW: Maybe you should write a petition to the site.
Tiger: Solar is mysteriouso gone! So, TW should update it sooner or later.
Peachy: POOPIE!!!!

Rob wrote:

I heard a mario game is coming out on the nintendo gamecube in 2006...It said in the release dates on this site...I was wondering what on earth is the game going to be like...Its said N5 Launch or something like that then it said TBA 2006!!!

BeckerManEX: Nintendo has stated that their next system will be ready by Fall 2005 to go head to head with the PlayStation3, but if that happens, it remains to be seen. The next Mario game could either be on N5 or GameCube, it all depends on what is revealed at E3 in May.
Hairball: N5? What the hell is that?
TW: On the release dates, its just that there will MOST LIKELY a Mario Game at launch, nothing has been confirmed.
Tiger: Mmm, we'll probably find out at e3, more about this strange new Mario game.
Peachy: OMGZ I LYKE CANT BELIEVE IT LYKE OMGZ OMGZ OMGZ!!!

Phantaz wrote:

Yeah, what's up with Solargamer. He was doin this Saga thing and now he has dissapeared AGAIN!!! Any news on him?!?!

BeckerManEX: Nope.
Hairball: I have alerted authorities such as the FBI, CIA, and Interpol about Solar's disapperance, but they were unable to provide any assistance whatsoever. But they said that he might have been shot by drug dealers in Mexico, when he was trying to sell his sub-par marijuana. You know, Mexicans and their drugs.
TW: He said his ambition was to Make Porn. He's probably making it somewhere
Tiger: Nope. He always goes off in his own little world, huh..
Peachy: we miss you, solar!

Girl With Too Much Time on Her Hands wrote:

Uh, Hairball, I let my mouse stay over the Entopia button under your affilitates on the front page, then in the dialogue box it said "Entertainmentopia is sick" then I put my mouse over the Mario Guide button and it said "Mario Guide sucks" so then I put my mouse over The GQ button then the box said "GameQubed Queefs" What gives!?! You are not a very nice affiliate! Oh, by the way, are you a bisexual?

BeckerManEX: I think he meant "sick" in the good way, as in "cool." He better have meant it that way as Entertainmentopia is my site and it certainly does not suck.
Hairball: Yes, I am a bisexual, now bring it to me.
TW: Its all part of the humor of this site. Haven't you noticed, its like a transition into Conker's Bad Fur Day.
Tiger: I don't know if HB swings both ways..
Peachy: He is not bi, he is trans. Get it right.

Conrad wrote:

what is this 'N5 Launch Mario Game'? do u have any news on it? also paper mario 2 do u know if it is the same as the first one or is it a new game? thanx btw mario party 5 and mario kart double dash are great (give 'em good ratings :-) )keep it up !=)

BeckerManEX: The N5 Launch Mario Game is just what the title says, a Mario game at the launch of the "N5" console (which doesn't have a name, but will be Nintendo's 5th).
Hairball: You people and your stupid N5, where are you coming up with terms like that? Obviously Paper Mario 2 is a new game, and we do not give good scores to games because they should, we give scores based on how good we feel the games are.
TW: Paper Mario 2 has been up in the air, it was once rumored. Im looking forward more to DKC2 on GBA.
Tiger: Don't know what N5 is, yeah, Double Dash is awesome.
Peachy: paper mario kicks ASS!

Doer up the ASSER wrote:

If Solar has soooo much success as a prostitute why hasn't HB cahed in yet!

BeckerManEX: How exactly do you "cahed" in?
Hairball: No no no, you have it all wrong, Solar is busy making his porn movies at some studio in Los Angeles, ever since he turned 18, we have lost contact with him, so it must be the porn shootings that he is always doing.
TW: He's a Porn star not a prostitute!
Tiger: Cause it's hard to "cah" into things.
Peachy: Actually, here at sm128c, there is a prostitution ring. Actually it's rape. Actually it's not rape if you like it ;).

CLEAN wrote:

I have this thing for mario. He is just so sexy in all of his video games. I am male of cource and have never felt this way about any other men. Is there a real mario that i could meet and can you give me his e-mail address. I also may need some counciling.

BeckerManEX: Go for the latter.
Hairball: I can conclude that you are gay.
TW: www.jackinworld.com
Tiger: There are lots of Marios that would like to seduce you. Probably might be italian too!
Peachy: his email is hairball@sm128c.com

Sleepy Bowser wrote:

I hope you've realized that 3 quarters of this message board is filled with SPAM... Anyways, I've realized that MIPS is much smarter and faster the second time around. Do you have any strategy that I can use to catch him...? Diving at him aimlessly is just plain stupid.

BeckerManEX: Get as close as possible before he takes off and dive. That's how I did it. It actually only took me a few tries as I look back on it.
Hairball: Bloody spammers, if you want to see spam, just look at my freaking inbox, I mean, do I really need that much viagra, penis enlargement pills, university degrees or free money? And yes, MIPS is smarter than you are, that bastardly rabbit is one little pain in the nuts.
TW: What is the Difference between MIPS and DIMPS?
Tiger: SPAM! It's pink and it's oval, SPAM! It comes in a blue can!
Peachy: POOPIE!!!! PONY RIDES IN THE SUMMERTIME!!!!