E-Mailbag for July 24, 2003

GuyBrush wrote:

Dear sm128c.com,

I'm afraid I'm having some difficulty viewing your site. I stumbled upon it through Google, hoping to find a new source of relevant, up to date and amusing Nintendo information and tidbits, but unfortunately each page reads like gibberish. All the text appears as unintelligible blithering, the majority of which seems to be made up of the words "gay", "dick" and "suck" - it's amazing that Google presented this site for a result of one of my searches for games over one of my searches for homosexual erotica! Is this a fault with your site or with my browser? (I'm using Internet Explorer 6 in 800x600 resolution)

BeckerManEX: First off, you should really think about trying Mozilla (www.mozilla.org) or Mozilla Firebird, they both offer a great web viewing experience at faster speeds than IE, and offer built in features like pop-up blocking and other cool stuff. As for your question, the reason Google lists us so high is the type of search engine they are. The more sites that link to ours, the higher placement as relevent information we are given. I'll be the first to tell you that this isn't the most mature place on the 'net, but you can still find a wealth of information about Nintendo and all Mario games, if you are able to get past the third grade humor and first grade inteligence factor.
Hairball: Yes, we have various irrelevant keywords in hopes of getting some old horny men to visit our site, and get off to our erotic comments. We are in desperate need of visitors, so we will sink to extremely lows in order to get what we want.
Tiger: The problem is with your browser, unfortunately.
Peachy: No, sorry, it's a fault with your head.
Homer: too bad la
Net-tech: That was a stupid joke that lacked all necessary elements of humour.

Mike wrote:

I thought Mario Sunshine was really good. It was basically an updated SM64 but that's no bad thing.

Though perhaps more variations on the levels and some multi-player modes like who can get the most coins or who can get to the star quickest and you try and stop the other guy.

BeckerManEX: The multiplayer mode you described is similar to The Four Swords (packaged with The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on GBA). You are correct that Super Mario Sunshine might have sold more copies if it added a bit more innovation and a multiplayer mode, but the game still excels in every area that makes Nintendo the top video game developer and publisher today, so I don't think we can hold that against them, can we? Look for Mario 128 to bring some new elements to the series. It was originally suppose to be shown at E3 in May, but Nintendo claims they didn't want anyone ripping off the new gameplay elements they have added to the game, hence the public delay. There are rumors that it could be a GameCube 2 launch title, but those are uncomfirmed. I think Nintendo will release another Mario and Zelda title on GCN before it's time is up in 2005.
Hairball: I wholeheartedly agree, although I don't really give a damn. Yes, I am quite a hypocrite. SMS needed major improvements.
Tiger: Again, what's with all these statments instead of questions in the e-mailbag? Boggles me mind.
Peachy: And I STILL have not played it. What a loyal fan.
Homer: that was a question?
Net-tech: Great. We don't care.

Weels wrote:

Why has Solar Gamer taken a vow of silence? Will it make the world better of he was silent? I think so. Juiceeeeeeeeee

BeckerManEX: Someone has been watching too many Welch's commercials.
Hairball: Solar likes to pull off his disappearing acts every once in awhile, it's just how he works.
Tiger: Maybe he's in some sort of wack coma. Smack him!
Peachy: Fruitttttttttttttttt
Homer: Orange Juiceeeeeeeee
Net-tech: Solar has been getting laid recently, and admits to have spent his time "getting more tanned than a Mexican".

Christian wrote:

Why do you use words like hell, crap, ect. Some parents don't let thier kids go on this site because of that.

BeckerManEX: As stated before, third grade humor prevails on this site.
Hairball: Because swearing is cool. Isn't it?
Tiger: Ask HB. I don't say the offensive words.
Peachy: It makes the site more interesting, of course! And besides, the site is aimed for more erm....mature gamers.
Homer: hell, crap, shit, piss, fuck. Weeee
Net-tech: Because we like to. I won't say something like "why the hell not" or "don't be a piece of fucking crap" because that would be extremely gay on my part.

Some Person wrote:

What would happen if all of the staff members of SM128C were stuck in a house for a year?

BeckerManEX: Excessive masterbation and "yo mama" jokes.
Hairball: I would freak out, thinking of living with people like Net-tech and Homer gives me the shivers.
Tiger: I would go psycho and kill them off. Knives are sharp! Blood keeps well in refridgerated jars!
Peachy: OMG I WOULD GET RAPED!
Homer: I will be the first to suicide
Net-tech: We would eat Homer unless he agreed to Slim Fast.

SuperGamingFreak wrote:

why have I been banned from the message boards? I did check the member list and I saw a new person, THE HACKER, he had on his sig that he whanted hairball to give me 50 bucks and Mariomainac and Solargamer. I don't care if the person who did this lived in my house and used my computer.
I did not do it!!! It could have been anyone, even one of my brothers.

BeckerManEX: That's the problem with siblings, they always ruin everything for you. I'm sure there was a misunderstanding. Email Hairball directly and explain the situation, he should give you the benefit of the doubt.
Hairball: Well, you really have to piss us off bad to get banned on the board, and you seriously have problems if you can cause so much BS on that stupid board. And we don't take excuses about people using the same IP, although it might not directly be your fault, too many times, it is.
Tiger: I am not on the message board, so I cannot help you here.
Peachy: It was you.
Homer: good for you
Net-tech: Go tell mommy to sue us.

the son of x-51 wrote:

Can it be what you want it to be? Can it be your life?

BeckerManEX: A Powerman 5000 fan, excellent.
Hairball: We're not in Philosophy 101.
Tiger: Can your life be what it is by being where it is, wanting it in?
Peachy: NO.
Homer: mmmmkay
Net-tech: Perhaps.

Julia wrote:

Is there a Mario Party 4 soundtrack out for purchase?

BeckerManEX: Nintendo used to make a habit of releasing soundtracks to their games (at least on Nintendo 64) with me personally owning Banjo-Kazooie and a mix CD featuring Waverace 64, Super Mario 64, and Pilotwings 64 (I believe). Gaming mucis has become more and more of an art form in the last few years. I recently had a chance to interview a composer on an upcoming PlayStation2 game and learned a great deal of information on how video game music is a demanding career field, but when you are able to bring more and more atmosphere to a game because of your hard work, you know you have done something worth while.
Hairball: Maybe, I might have heard of it, but I'm not sure. Usually these types of items are available to Nintendo Power subscribers through their Super Power Supplies catalog, but heck, I'm not even sure if that still exists or not.
Tiger: I have no clue, but usually they make soundtracks of games.
Peachy: Maybe, I don't know.
Homer: unno
Net-tech: Who would buy it? Mario Party 4 was the gayest thing since Mario Party 3, and Mario Party 3 was the gayest thing since TWgamer, who suspiciously shortened his name to cover his tracks. I smell a conspiracy between Toad, Julia, and TWgamer to overthrow Hairball and ship him to Liberia.

Luigi128 wrote:

Do you realise that in the "Mario Stories" section, part V of the Super Mario Saga is still scheduled to come out April 18th? If you are going to be lazy, you should at least change the date so that it doesn't look like you are being as lazy as you really are.

BeckerManEX: That's a paradox of such. To keep from being called lazy they must change the date on the page, which would then constitute them not being lazy becuase they actually updated. Don't fret if you suddenly go cross-eyed and crave dairy products.
Hairball: I hope you don't mean "us" as in everyone at SM128C. We work hard each and every day to bring you more entertainment on our website. You may not see all the work we put into the site to make it the way it is. So to conclude, I'll blame my trusty friend BHS, you might not know who he is, but that doesn't matter.
Tiger: Did you realize that you spelled "realize" wrong? I bet you didn't realize that.
Peachy: OMG! Solar is SOOOO sorry for inconviencing (sp?) you. No, not really.
Homer: lazy is our last name
Net-tech: Why don't you try running a site while having a life. Solar has been invoking his sixty ninth amendment right to have sex.

Thrall wrote:

When is Gamecube 2 coming out?, And will there another Gameboy system

BeckerManEX: "GameCube 2" (which will not be the official name) is scheduled to come out in 2005 alongside the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 2 (again, not official names). Nintendo has stated several times that they will not be last out of the gate, and they could, quite possibly, be the first system released in the next generation. As for another Game Boy system, a follow up to the Game Boy Advance SP is already in the works.
Hairball: Shortly after the GameCube dies (or when it is on life support)... and there is a GBASP, if that counts as a new GB system. But with possible competition coming from cell phone companies, there may be a new GB not so long down the road. Maybe Nintendo could work with these companies to produce a new device, who knows.
Tiger: There is no Gamecube 2. There will be another Gameboy system in 5 years.
Peachy: Erm there IS another Gameboy system that just came out.
Homer: Yes there will be another gameboy system. Since Gamecube 1 sucked, there will probably be no Gamecube 2
Net-tech: Likely 2005, although we'll probably look back on this mailbag in 2007 and realize how wrong we were. And Nintendo would be stupid to not release another Game Boy, considering they monopolize the handheld gaming market.

Duke wrote:

is Peachy a girl if so is she hot

BeckerManEX: I do believe she is a girl, but I've never actually seen what she looks like. Come to think of it, I bet most of the staff members have no idea what each other look like.
Hairball: From the pic I've seen before, she looks ok. I wonder if she turned hot over the past few years, I get off just fantasizing about that.
Tiger: Peaches are not humans, they are a type of fruit.
Peachy: Yes to all questions :)
Homer: yes peachy is hot
Net-tech: Yes she's a girl, and you can determine if she's hot or not at http://www.marioguide.com/pictures/peachy.jpg.

Matiaas wrote:

Thanks for a nice site! Almost like planetgamecube.com but you should have rumours&news about "Mario 128", the real sequel to Mario 64 according to Nintendo rather than (the sometimes very hard) Mario Sunshine.

BeckerManEX: We do have an extensive preview of the game, and look for further coverage soon.
Hairball: That's what should be covered in TW's pending Super Mario 128 preview, which hopefully won't be as hyped up as Nintendo's games.
Tiger: Mario 128 is never going to come out. I know this.
Peachy: Whatever.
Homer: toooo bad
Net-tech: That's what TW's homosexual preview is for.

James wrote:

Hi. I just read your article on eBay fraud, and I went to my room, looked at the games, and it turns out they were pirated! I'm reporting the sellers to eBay, and demanding my money back. Thank you sm128c!

BeckerManEX: We are always here to help! No matter where you get your games, be sure they are what you really want. EB and GameStop are notorious for packaging used games as new and selling them for full price. Fully research the game you want to buy, and if you are searching eBay, be sure to check the users feedback rating and email them personally to confirm the game is, in fact, an original.
Hairball: No problem, this is just yet another reason that SM128C makes the world a better place. If you have any other questions, you can e-mail me personally, and if I feel like it, I'll make a response to you within 100 days.
Tiger: SM128C! The premiere justice of anti-Nintendo fraud.
Peachy: Even though I have almost no idea what you are talking about, you are most welcome!
Homer: lol, sucks to be you
Net-tech: Holy shit, we've actually been useful.

Shane wrote:

Super Mario Sunshine had some pros, but also some cons. It was a good game because it had very good reply value[as in most Mario games], and had pretty smooth graphics. However, the game wasn't as good as most anticipated it to be[most thought it would be better than Super Mario 64, including me!] So, overall, I would probably give this game about a 6-7...if you want a platformer, you should have waited and gotten Wind Waker

BeckerManEX: But Wind Waker isn't a platformer, its an Action RPG. Super Mario Sunshine has a lot of high points. The graphics are great, the gameplay is nice, the controls are tight and responsive. On the lower end of greatness the camera was sometimes problematic and the game's fortitude for using the water pack really turned me off after a while. I missed the old school Mario from Super Mario 64. Let it be said that Nintendo is aware of fan's concerns and Mario 128 should address them.
Hairball: In my opinion, the graphics weren't that good, they look good in screenshots, but when in motion it doesn't seem very good to me. Wind Waker looks interesting, I need to try it some sometime.
Tiger: Wind Waker is an RPG, not a platformer.
Peachy: ooooooook
Homer: mmmmkay
Net-tech: Great. Why do we care? Shouldn't we be telling you loyal 10-year-old fans what to think instead?

Barney wrote:

I love you. You love me. Let's all go and hump Hairball. With a big penis and shit in your hat. Let's all be a fucking gay family.

BeckerManEX: Hey, you're the purple one.
Hairball: What makes you think that a gay family doesn't get it on?
Tiger: Geez, and to think that one reader only though "hell" and "crap" was offensive.
Peachy: fag.
Homer: we all love HB, don't we?
Net-tech: Hilarious. I assume you're less than 10 years of age.

Magic wrote:

why don't they make a new updated version of mario kart. With new players, upgrades courses and karts, plus you could get points and make your kart better and I thought of a really good upgrade - Invicible banana a banana that dosen't go away!

BeckerManEX: It's called Mario Kart: Double Dash!! and it looks to bring the series to a new level. Stay tuned!
Hairball: That's what we call Mario Kart: Double Dash coming out for the GameCube later this year.
Tiger: Mario Kart Double Dash is coming out soon. I played it myself at e3, and I have to say it's neat with the double drivers. Though, there is no "invincible banana," unforunately.
Peachy: You go and invent that then. Have fun!
Homer: mmmmkay
Net-tech: Mario Kart: Double Dash.

Luigi128 wrote:

Do you guys understand the meaning of the word "update"? I mean, come on, it is Summer now, yet you still won't update.

BeckerManEX: I have no clue what is up with everyone. Since I only freelance here (just to shout out in the mailbag) I'm not responsible for updating the site, of course you could always hit that button that says "Entopia" on it and get in on some movie, game, TV, CD, and DVD reviews. Did I just drop a name, for shame.
Hairball: Do you have better things to do than to send queer e-mails to this site? We have more important to do in life, such as: eat, sleep, and masturbate.
Tiger: Updated.
Peachy: upĚdate: tr.v. upĚdatĚed, upĚdatĚing, upĚdates -- To bring up to date: update a textbook; update the files. So yes, I understand the meaning of "update".
Homer: *Points to HB
Net-tech: Didn't you email us already? I told you, we have lives. Why should we update when we're making money without doing anything?

Fuzzy wrote:

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then God said, 'Let there be light'. And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see alot better.

BeckerManEX: Excellent.
Hairball: My, this is really sounding like a philosophy class.
Tiger: Grammar policewoman Tiger says that "a lot" is two words, not one.
Peachy: Wise words.
Homer: Solar is god, no really. He is!
Net-tech: But how would we see better if we weren't created yet?

Milo wrote:

This site rocks, man! It's one of the best Super Mario sites around! I know something you can add... maybe a Mario voices section where you have voice clips of Mario from his games along with his supporting cast (Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Bowser, the generic Mario sports games characters, etc.)

Keep up the good work!

BeckerManEX: Not a bad idea. That would have fit in great with that MIDI section we once had. Wonder what happened to that...
Hairball: We can't afford the bandwidth to do that, and we have more important priorities (ie. sleep).
Tiger: I think HB is too lazy to take on that job.
Peachy: hmm....I saw something like that on another Mario site.
Homer: mm goy
Net-tech: Why don't you do it and send it to us and we'll post it.

Metal_Axem wrote:

PLEEEEEEASE, TELL ME WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH SUPER MARIO SAGA.

And for Homer: Go fuck an horny duck, it will feel good!

BeckerManEX: Interesting advice.
Hairball: From what I've seen, it seems like it will never be completed.
Tiger: Ask Solar, he is the Super Mario Saga man.
Peachy: ASSSSSSSSSSK solar
Homer: thank you for your comments. I prefer my duck is BeiJing style
Net-tech: Someone needs to register www.supermariosaga.com just to piss of SolarGamer.

God wrote:

Go to The Land of The Fuck.

BeckerManEX: "Will there be beer?"
Hairball: That place is called Las Vegas, if not, than some place in the red light district of Amsterdam.
Tiger: You aren't god! An imposter! A fake!
Peachy: Woohoo!
Homer: Sure
Net-tech: God wouldn't be emailing sites as low as this.

KitchenNinja wrote:

I was told there are 'magic mushrooms' in SMSunshine. Could you please tell me how to acquire these hullucinogens?

BeckerManEX: The person who told you this was obviously, nah, that joke's too easy.
Hairball: Sorry KitchenNinja, you must be still living in 1985 when Mario ate 'shrooms all the time. He found out that drugs are bad, so he stopped getting high on them.
Tiger: By going to your nearest drug store.
Peachy: Sure, go ask your mom.
Homer: Go to a forest and pick them up, Duh
Net-tech: www.gayporn.com has all the relevant details.

Cody wrote:

dear smb head qouters

i think your site is the best ever dont listen to themdomb people how say its bad

BeckerManEX: Thanks, although this isn't SMBHQ.
Hairball: We absolutely hate it when we are called the name of our bitter rivals at SMBHQ. It makes me angry, angry enough to slit someone's throat.
Tiger: What is the "themdomb" people, are they some sort of new tribe I haven't heard of?
Peachy: you mean "domb" as in people like you, who doesn't even know the name to the site?
Homer: wrong site, bitch. Learn to spell
Net-tech: SMBHQ is ass. Pure 100% ass.

Al Gore wrote:

I am gay and proud of it!

BeckerManEX: Hey he would have been a better president than Bush.
Hairball: That is A-OK! Just keep your gay pride to yourself, most of us don't want to see it.
Tiger: Happy, or homosexual?
Peachy: yes, many of us figured that out looooong ago.
Homer: word
Net-tech: I doubt that.

Generic Gamer wrote:

Who else think's it's funny that on nintendo's official websites, they list all of their game systems, except Virtual Boy? I guess it really was that much of a failure. What do you guys think of Wario World?; does it look, or is it any good?

BeckerManEX: Virutal Boy was a big disaster for Nintendo. The system didn't even really survive a year, which is why they don't care to list it. Nintendo will claim it never happened. If I hadn't owned the system I would call you a dirty liar if you asked me about it. Now its gone, but I still remember the headaches!
Hairball: This goes to show that even Nintendo is ashamed of the Virtual Boy failure. The only reason is because I borrowed it from my cousin, and kind of forgot to return it, it wasn't much of a loss to him though.
Tiger: Virtual Boy got me dizzy from playing it.
Peachy: So far all of the wario games have been pretty good, so I'm sure this new one is as well.
Homer: duuuuuno
Net-tech: Hilarious. Wario World is a piece of ass, just like SMBHQ.

Adam wrote:

I was just wondering if you guys new anything about Super Mario 128 yet. If so i'd really appreciate any information on the game. Thanks!

BeckerManEX: More will be revealed soon.
Hairball: Again, watch for TW's upcoming Super Mario 128 preview, apparently he says it will be good, but that is subjective of course.
Tiger: Hum, Super Mario 128..if it will actually come one day..
Peachy: nope, I'm stoopid.
Homer: SM128 is gonna be gay, gaaaaaaaaaay. Mario Yaoi!!!
Net-tech: Yay, I get the last word.