E-Mailbag for February 1, 2003

Luigi128 wrote:

In correspondence to the earlier reply of Jan. 1, 2003 by Hairball
I am not retarded. I just attempt to counter your ways in order to fit in with the people I am dealing with.

(That was below the belt wasn't it.)
P.S.-Why are site registrations for the hosting sections down, I have a cool site, but by YOUR stupid "standards", it probably sux.
P.P.S.-Hairball, why have you not responded to my latest staff application. Don't say it's because you aren't interrested because the last one you wouldn't accept me but you still responded.
P.P.P.S.-it is possible to bring sanity to this site, you just need new staff members.

BeckerManEX: I'm sorry that I can't answer your questions. The "standards" that you speak of are something that the Internet needs more off when you look around and you get some of the poorest coded trash you have ever seen online. I'm talking about sites filled with ripped-off graphics, MIDIs in teh background, and just an overall ugliness that should be banned from the web. I'm not saying your site is like this, but more standards need to be set down.
Hairball: Your little bitchy rant is just another reason to show that you're retarded. Case closed. And your site DOES indeed suck, what does it matter what we think? If it sucks, it sucks.
TW: There is no Hosting service anymore, MR LUIGI64!
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: My, my, aren't there many emailbag responders this time around, eh..
Homer: P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S : w0rd!
Net-tech: Most staff applications suck. And the hosting has been disabled because of bandwidth concerns.
Peachy: Who said we wanted sanity? Craziness is always fun.

Endofdraco wrote:

Who would you like to see in the new Super Smash Bros?
PS: Whos McGaffin?

BeckerManEX: I really like the idea of a Nintendo vs. Sega game, that would rock. It's all about Knuckles.
Hairball: I'd like to see the DOA3 girls in the next SSB, that would be quite exciting.
TW: Probably Wario. Who Knows who McGaffin is?
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Someone that should.. WATCH OUT!!
Homer: McGaffin is Solar's gay twin brother. wtf, another SSB? this is mad
Net-tech: I won't speculate, because Nintendo never listens anyway.
Peachy: Ur mom.

Mario stabbed me, sucked his own d!ck and wrote:

Are you really that gay?

BeckerManEX: Some of you people are so stupid, I won't even dignify your question with an answer. Why don't you little four year olds stop playing on the computer causing trouble and wasting bandwidth and do something meaningful with your pathetic lives.
Hairball: Yes.
TW: No, I am not gay.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: HB is.
Homer: it's spelt dick, you fucking loser
Net-tech: I won't speculate about the orientations of the other staff members. I consider myself bi, because I like to suck Yoshi dick, and I also like to suck Yoshi pussy.
Peachy: Hairball is, and I think solar may actually be bisexual.

Arnold Schwartzeneger wrote:

I'll be back.

BeckerManEX: Yes you will, on July 3rd.
Hairball: And I will too!
TW: And So He Shall. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Coming 2003.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: And I'll be gone.
Homer: Wow, i'm suprised someone can spell that asshole's name
Net-tech: Goodie for you, Arnold.
Peachy: in a couple of minutes I just have to go do my laundry and stuff

Mario500 wrote:

After all of times I've read something in this e-mailbag of yours, I've noticed many people like to send non-intelligent or just plain stupid e-mail for the site. I don't mind most of those e-mails, some can actully be pretty funny at times, along with answers from the staff, but it's been getting very much out of control for a very long time.

My suggesting for this is to create some kind of annual edtion of the e-mailbag for people to send e-mail that's decent and can still be funny like some in this mailbag. Keep up the good work on SM128C and I'll always visit this site on a regular basis.

BeckerManEX: For once I'm in total agreement. When did this site fall into the realm of a basement dweling homeless man who gets his jollies reading about gay emails and 8th graders who like to type "sex?"
Hairball: While we do try to include some informative e-mails, we actually get very few of them. The majority of the e-mails that we receive at SM128C are ones that are.. not really that pleasant.
TW: I think HB puts in the gayer e-mailbags so it is actually funny, and not just boring shit.
SolarGamer: Word. Microsoft Word. Ah, you just a playa hata. Real One Player. WOW! I am having deja vu! It's like... all... this... has... happened... BEFORE!!!
Tiger: Normal rational e-mails? My, that's impossible. We would be able to put up one or two decent responses in a year.
Homer: Thank you for your support, I am pretty sure this site will not last without these gay emails
Net-tech: That's a half decent idea, so I won't insult it.
Peachy: w/e.

Samus Aran wrote:

Wow, they are right! This website sucks major ass!!! I'll get a ton of Metroids to suck the life out of you assholes. Then I'll get Kraid to shove spikes up your asses. Solargamer gets a very good treatment, he will get sucked off by Ridley! Then Mother Brain will go into your minds to see how ugly your parents are!

BeckerManEX: Not even worth my time to answer.
Hairball: See, even Samus thinks SM128C 0wnz j00. But I don't see how the rest of the question is relevant. Blah.
TW: Go back to Iraq.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: Then again, I question the intelligence and natural maturity of most of our readers.
Homer: Wow, you can use them to suck Net-tech's dick
Net-tech: Sigh. Why do stupid fanboys pretend to be women and then pretend they have boobs of steal and more weapons than Iraq?
Peachy: Yay sounds fun!!!

Luigi Lover wrote:

I really like SMS BUT it would have been better if Luigi were to show up. And not as an April fools joke. U GUYS ROCK! SM128C ROCKS! Anyway the graphics were great and the levels were awesome! I love when u go into a pipe and get a mini-level. ^_^

BeckerManEX: You are very correct, SMS did rock. I still haven't had a chance to sit down and play it till the end, but I have Spring Break coming up in March so I'll have to put it off till then. Right now I'm finishing up GTA: Vice City and Silent Hill 2 in anticipation of Wind Waker.
Hairball: Those "retro levels" as I like to call them in Super Mario Sunshine are the biggest pain in the ass ever. They get so frustrating and drive you insane, that's what I really hate about them. They piss you off more than providing a challenge.
TW: Those mini-levels are sacrilage.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: ^___^ ! SMS is cool. I think it's some secret conspiracy by Nintendo to only spotlight Mario in his games..or maybe they though Luigi's Mansion made up for it. Who knows what's on the minds of those crazy execs at Nintendo.
Homer: Yay, We rock!
Net-tech: Shhhh... we are not planning any April Fools Joke with Luigi in Super Mario Sunshine. Why would we do that?
Peachy: Never played the game because I am a sad, sad individual with no gamecube.

Joe wrote:

Hey, I'd like to now why did they put sonic the hedgehog in Nintendo Gamecube he's a SEGA Character I don't get it.

BeckerManEX: SEGA went to a third party status where they publish games on all consoles, you will find SEGA games on PlayStation2, GameCube, Xbox, Game Boy Advance, PC, etc. SEGA opted to put Sonic on the GameCube because of the demographic that the GCN targets. This proved to be a great idea as Sonic Adventure 2 Battle is the highest selling third-party game on the GameCube.
Hairball: Sega has kinda dropped out of the video game hardware business, so they became a game publisher, much like companies like Konami. They can make games for all the systems now as a 3rd party.
TW: Because the Dreamcast is unfortunatly, devestatingly and sadly dead, got it?
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: Because SEGA sold out. Boo!
Homer: Sega is bankrupt, where the hell do you live? In a cave?
Net-tech: Because Sega and Nintendo like money, and they can both make more by putting Sonic on GAMECUBE.
Peachy: Cuz the nintendo people are insane like the rest of us.

Nights2488 wrote:

Does this mean Nintendo is going out of business?

BeckerManEX: No, Nintendo has stated recently that they are already working on the next system for both console and handheld markets, Nintendo is in the video game business to stay.
Hairball: What exactly is the reason that Nintendo is going out of business? The GameCube is doing fairly well right now, so it's nothing to worry about.
TW: No, Nintendo are releasing a new console in 2005.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Of course not. Just stooping lower.
Homer: ... w0rd
Net-tech: NO. I HATE THE IDIOTS WHO THINK THIS. THEY ONLY SAID THEY WERE CONCENTRATING ON SOFTWARE, THEY MADE IT CLEAR THAT THEY WERE NOT GETTING OUT OF THE HARDWARE BUSINESS. NOW FUCK OFF.
Peachy: Sure.

BritishWit wrote:

Greetings to all! I was taking a look around your fine establishment and stumbled upon an editorial series called "Through the Warp Pipe" do you know if the author is continuing the series? I have enjoyed them so far.

BeckerManEX: I'm that author, how nice of you to comment on the series. Yes the series will continue every couple of weeks with a new issue. I have articles planned through Volume 3 at the moment so I have alot of material to write about, and some great ideas.
Hairball: Yes, the editorial series will continue, it's pretty popular on SM128C.
TW: I assume that he will continue the articles, it's one of the few things that is ongoing around here anyway.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: Um..you would have to ask him, not me. :P
Homer: no idea. i don't even know who wrote it
Net-tech: Yes he is. There was one a few weeks ago.
Peachy: Hmm I dunno who the author is, must check that out.

Paige wrote:

Do you like cheerleaders? I think that there should be a cheerleader in the next Mario game! YEAH!

BeckerManEX: The problem with cheerleaders is they are never what you see in the movie. At my high school they were ugly, fat chicks who were just slimey sluts looking to get gwaked at by a bunch of guys at the football game. Even though we did make State Champion my Senior year, it wasn't because of them.
Hairball: Of course I like cheerleaders, who doesn't want to see a nice piece of ass on some fine bitches? Well.. hopefully they are fine.
TW: Uhh.. no.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: Toadstool cheerleaders..what an interesting thought.
Homer: hell yeah, upskirts rules
Net-tech: Mario is gay. The only cheerleaders you'll ever find in a Mario game are horny cartoon men who want to fuck Mario up the ass.
Peachy: Most (I said MOST) cheerleaders are preppy snobby sluts.

Carla wrote:

I have a nes 16 bit with super mario world, but i can't find the blue switch panel. Please help!!! replay as soon as possible please.

BeckerManEX: Jez, it has been such a long time since I've played that game, I'm sorry, I can't help you very much.
Hairball: Super Mario World is on the SNES, not NES. And, the blue switch palace is located in the water level in the Forest of Illusion, there's some weird wall you have to go through to get to the secret exit.
TW: Try www.gamefaqs.com, I haven't got that far
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: Ask HB, master of switch palaces.
Homer: look at my reply on top, where the hell do you live? in a cave?
Net-tech: Gamefaqs.com
Peachy: OK hun that is so old I don't think anyone remembers how.

Dan wrote:

Wasn't the Super Mario Saga supposed to go up last year?

BeckerManEX: Yeah, it's strange how nothing ever happens on time around here huh?
Hairball: Yes, but Solar seems to have other priorities, such as picking up hoes around Los Angeles, and masturbating.
TW: Part 1 is up today, Part 2 tomorrow, Part 3 monday, and so on...
SolarGamer: Word. Microsoft Word. Ah, you just a playa hata. Real One Player. WOW! I am having deja vu! It's like... all... this... has... happened... BEFORE!!!
Tiger: Yup, Solar is slacking off as usual.
Homer: if you are so good, why don't you write it?
Net-tech: It was SUPPOSED to be 100 episodes in 1 year. LOL. Instead, we have 20 chapters in 3+ years. Hairball will have overdosed by the time we reach Chapter 30.
Peachy: SOLAR, just FINISH the damned story already.

Laperini wrote:

Do you know where or how I can find the game play instructions for Super Mario World for Super Nintendo?

BeckerManEX: Check out www.gamefaqs.com and most of the FAQs listed usually start off with a controller diagram and an explaination of the controls. You can also head down to your local used shop (Game Crazy, Gamers, EB, GameStop) and see if they have an instruction manual for the game that they are willing to sell, or photocopy for you. Usually they are good about doing that.
Hairball: The best place to go is to the source itself, store.nintendo.com, but they will only ship to US addresses, call their phone number on that site for more information.
TW: Probably TMK. Check SM128C's friends for Link.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: Do you really need them?
Homer: www.gamefaqs.com
Net-tech: Look up Homer's ass. We were having some anal fun with it last night. It might have got stuck up there.
Peachy: try gamefaqs.com

God wrote:

Go to hell.

BeckerManEX: Okay.
Hairball: Brrr.. I'm feeling the shivers. Damn you God.
TW: You first.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: Go to heaven.
Homer: sure
Net-tech: :'(
Peachy: been there and back (yes, I know that's old).

Lionel wrote:

Est ce qu'on peut jouer et gagner des jeux.

BeckerManEX: Riiiight.
Hairball: Oui, je joue et gagne les jeux toujours.
TW: Speak English Please. LE HOMOSEXUEL!
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: No frenchie me speaky.
Homer: Je ne suis comprand pas
Net-tech: Va te faire foutre, putain. (Fuck you, whore).
Peachy: OMG I MUST be learning something in french 'cuz I actually undertood some of that!!!! It doesn't make much sense (cuz I'm probably mistranslating) but I THINK it says "What can one play to gain plays.". I dunno I'm stupid.

Kiki wrote:

Hello, I am a French girl named Kiki! ^_^ I have some questions, so please look past any English mistakes I have made in thizs E-mail. =D

Shugazxykjened wnnd gd hbsjsk movhde. Do yjdh aghrsse? Yhes, I have nice dgrftittfhgies! ^_^ Apsbsc dgckuqhf ufdijd hggggf nsdjsgbs jdvdd dhdvfd d dhdgdvd? LOL, gdgd jstss mfjdhf .dldkdld;d'd'!!! ;) Pl4ease finger my vachinma jdha molsaaestv naked. sns ssskkjs Shees iss the hdhdh Sloargamer hfgf jhdgdg nuts djh sack?

Thanks in advance! (Coos and purrs)

BeckerManEX: How can you write the intro and the conclusion sentences perfectly and then screw up the body? Your stupid attempt at humor makes baby Jesus cry.
Hairball: That doesn't look like "Fringlish" to me, not at all.
TW: Hmm, interesting proposition. I'll get back to you.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: You mispelt "apsbsc." It should be "apchesc." Check your grammar!
Homer: What the hell, thats not even English. get a life
Net-tech: That's just gay.
Peachy: Tu n'est parle pas francais. Tu es mauvais a l'anglais, vraiment

Lisa wrote:

I have purchased this unit and we are having problems getting it to work. There was no instructions included. As far as I can see there is only one place to plug the ribbon into but all we see on the TV is a jumbo of colors and there is nothing on the GBA screen. Any suggestions? Thanks. Lisa

BeckerManEX: What "unit" your description doesn't not help an answer to become apparent.
Hairball: Make sure the ribbon you connect to the GBA is fastened tight enough, otherwise you'll get display problems.
TW: You should wait for the GB Gamecube player to play GBA on your TV.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: What kind of unit is this?!
Homer: what did fuck did you buy
Net-tech: Bitch at Nintendo about it.
Peachy: Nope, none at all.

Gaspar The Great wrote:

I understand you are re-editing the Super Mario Saga, but couldn't you have left the old version on?

BeckerManEX: If I was in charge I would have, but, alas, I'm not, sorry.
Hairball: It's Solar's call, not mine. He likes to boss people around, and threaten to quit the site each time he is gone against.
TW: (see answer below)
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Solar, the audience awaits.
Homer: no
Net-tech: That is not in my control.
Peachy: I suppose not, I mean, what would the point be?

Yoshiman2 wrote:

1. Will there ever be the next sequel to Super Smash Bros. Melee?
2. Is there a way to play as Wario in Super Smash Bros. Melee?
3. Will there ever be a sequel to Super Mario Sunshine?

BeckerManEX: 1. Most Likely; 2. I'm not sure, but I think no; 3. Not a direct sequel to Sunshine, but a true sequel to Super Mario 64 currently called Mario 128.
Hairball: 1) Yes, 2) Yes, by making Mario look like Wario, 3) Yes.
TW: 1. Probably 2. No 3. Definatly
SolarGamer: Word. Microsoft Word. Ah, you just a playa hata. Real One Player. WOW! I am having deja vu! It's like... all... this... has... happened... BEFORE!!!
Tiger: So many questions, so little time. The others probably would have answered it better than I would have.
Homer: 1. no 2. no 3. no
Net-tech: Yes, no, yes.
Peachy: WE. ARE. NOT. NINTENDO.

The Ghost of Last Year wrote:

Um........Hi. Well, I believe last year (or heck even last last year), I sent two really gay *questions* saying BOO! and BOO AGAIN! Well, I'd like to continue the tradition, so BOO! By the way SolarGamer can !#$% his mom and shove a !@$^ up my !$% for all I care.

BeckerManEX: How nice, but not funny in the slightest. Why do you people even get out of bed in the morning.
Hairball: "The" ghost of last year? Are you implying that you are the only one who died last year? I'm sure there were millions that died last year, how can you be "the" ghost then, there would be millions of ghosts. Or do you just think you're better than everyone else?
TW: Go find a cliff, and throw yourself off it.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: Sometimes I wonder about the validity and the seemingly un-answerable questions in the e-mailbag. HB fails yet again.
Homer: yay, like we give a flying fuck
Net-tech: ...
Peachy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Carsonsb wrote:

One site that REALLY deserves a mocking is The Realm of the Warriors: The Mortal Kombat Warriors Site (http://www.mkwarriors.net/)! But mostly the forum!

BeckerManEX: That "Site Mocking" is just stupid in my opinion. The reasons why it is being done hurt me head to think about.
Hairball: Maybe.. we'll think about it.
TW: I can't be bothered to click that link.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: I think TW has his share of Sonic Page Comics bashing.
Homer: don't advertise, you fuck
Net-tech: We only mimick sites that will be recognized by our readership.
Peachy: ok!!!!

s01ar p1ay3r wrote:

wow solar player, you think you're so cool with your stupid gay spam and such about absolute crap? Get a life. Go get laid if you can. I doubt it. And yes, sine you're thinking about it already, you MAY kiss my ass...

BeckerManEX: Making offers like that can get you put in jail in some states.
Hairball: Hmmm.. I think Solar is indeed a player, he constantly tells his stories of getting laid in the chat room all the time. And what's even funnier, he thinks that he won't get the bitch pregnant with unprotected sex using the "pull out method".
TW: solar player? Fhlahgodhg'ahgahg ? /dhsfhdhgsafg?
SolarGamer: Word. Microsoft Word. Ah, you just a playa hata. Real One Player. WOW! I am having deja vu! It's like... all... this... has... happened... BEFORE!!!
Tiger: Yeup, the e-mail bag revolves around the crazy daily antics of Solar! Simply remarkable!
Homer: No! I'll kiss it first!
Net-tech: If you are Solar Player, why are you sending a message to Solar Player? Hmm...
Peachy: hmm watch what you say, he just might do that.

Superbop wrote:

How do you get a Yoshi in Super Mario Sunshine?

BeckerManEX: I would be lying if I told you I was that far yet. The game has been collecting a bit of dust since I bought my PS2 so I haven't had a chance to really play it in a long while.
Hairball: You have to get the Yoshi egg somewhere in Pinna Park. Where specifically? I can't remember.
TW: Complete Pinna Park, Episode 5. Go to the Bell tower directly adjacent to the Grand Pianta Statue to find the Yoshi Egg. Feed him the fruit he wants, and go on.
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: No, you get a Luigi.
Homer: You get Homer a nice girl. Direct him to my house. and let me fuck her. Than luigi will appear near Mario's asshole
Net-tech: Pinna Park Story 4.
Peachy: gamefaqs.com

Netty wrote:

AHAHAHA, I just noticed, Puffy still links back to you

BeckerManEX: Yippie, go Puffy! (Who ever that is).
Hairball: And Puffy is a little bi'otch traitor asshole that will be banned from SM128C forever.
TW: What's that? Mario Guide is gay?
SolarGamer: Sleep Marlena Sleeeeeep
Tiger: What kind of question is this? How can Netty answer his own statement?
Homer: ahahahahahahahahah...
Net-tech: Yes, I sent that while drunk and/or stoned. And yes, Puffy is gay.
Peachy: Wow no way. Actually I don't care.

The man with no crotch wrote:

In Super Mario Sunshine, is there a mini-game that lets you give Mario an autopsy?

BeckerManEX: Your thinking about MCSI: Mario Crime Scene Investigation, look for it next year. For all of you stupid people that was a joke. Hyuck, yuck! Losers...
Hairball: No, but I'm sure there's a mini-game where you can play with Mario's crotch, just to make you jealous because you lack one.
TW: Yeah, you have to use the disc as a dildo first though.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: I certainly wouldn't want to see Mario's insides. Yucky.
Homer: WHAT THE FUCK
Net-tech: Yes.
Peachy: Sure. Let's disect characters in a game. Sounds great.