E-Mailbag for December 7, 2002

*!$$$$$!* wrote:

I think you do not get nearly the amount of respect you deserve. Lots of people have insulted you (myself included, and I am sorry). You are not losers. I do not think you should insult me, because I am on your side.

BeckerManEX: I don't believe anyone has really insulted me, but I won't insult you, I don't feel the need for it.
Hairball: How are you on our side? Just because you have a few dollar signs in your name?
TW: Thank You Very Much.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Ha, you just asked for insults.
Homer: Who the hell are you talking to, Hell. Who are you?
Peachy: We insult ourselves, therefor we have the right to insult you. Sux, doesn't it?

Zorak wrote:

I don't know what those short legged boneless punks are in "Super Mario Sunshine" which I bought for my gamecube? Are they... Tuskless Goombas? I mean are they replacements for goombas? WHY THE HELL DIDN'T MYAMOTO PUT DAMN GOOMBAS IN SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE??

BeckerManEX: It doesn't take place in the Mushroom Kingdom, hence why not all of your favorite characters are there, but those blobs of goo in Mario Sunshine are not Goombas.
Hairball: Perhaps he wanted to make the game a little more difficult, you know those stupid Goombas aren't really that hard to defeat.
TW: I know, Nintendo are stupid fools. Starfox is better than SMS anyway.
SolarGamer: Oh my lord, McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Hmm..maybe Goombas didn't like water. What a shame.
Homer: Don't bitch at us, send at email at help@nintendo.com

Phoenix wrote:

I have to tell you something...I love the powerpuff girls. Those little girls are so cute and innocent. I had a dream I was fingering Blossom, She started cumming slowly and she kissed me on the cheek. Her cum was so warm. PPGorn = Powerpuff girls porn. I need help from my god (SM128c). Where can I find PPGorn?! *Cough* I mean, I need help with my problem. I am so messed up. I have no friends. This is not a joke e-mail. This came from the heart. I wish my name was Stephanie.

BeckerManEX: What the bloody hell is going on?
Hairball: Mmmm.. fingering the Powerpuff Girls, this goes to show the new lowness that people have gone to.
TW: www.ppgorn.com?
SolarGamer: SHIT! FUCK! McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Oh my, I wish I did not read that.
Homer: Omg.. if you're gonna like hentai. I know a good title. Just don't watch PowerPuffgirls Hentai... Email me and i'll give you the title..
Peachy: Please get some mental help, you seriously need it.

A Jedi got drunk and wrote:

Hey, need a drink? How about a beer-powered lightsaber?

BeckerManEX: Drunk? Try Dumb.
Hairball: What good is a drunken light saber?
TW: That wouldn't work.
SolarGamer: I AM NOT JOKING! WATCH OUT McGaffin!!!
Tiger: You meen druken jedi action? Sounds plausible.
Homer: Mmmm... Beer-Powered Lightsaber...
Peachy: Sure. May the force be with you.

George Lucas wrote:

Hello, terrible site makers. Your site is so bad, that during the night I dreamed I was in the 666th circle of heck getting tormented by hundreds of horny Barneys. Just for that, I will give you all a free ticket to Tatooine (which should be arriving in 10 light years due to the crappy postal service between the dimensions) where you will be forced to play dressup with Jar Jar Binks, get beat up by hundreds of demonic Luke Skywalkers, marry a bunch of Princess Leias, get your heads bitten of by the Rancor, then I'll throw Thermal Detenators down your throats, and feed you remains to Jabba the Hutt and a bunch of Bowsers in Darth Vader helmets. Goodbye, and enjoy your stay at Tatooine!

BeckerManEX: I stopped reading after the first sentence, if you could call it that, there is no 666th circle of hell.
Hairball: Well Mr. Lucas, your movies suck ass too, get some new scriptwriters, to make a better movie next time.
TW: Light year is a measure of distance, not time you fool. Where does Bowser come into Star Wars?
Tiger: Bye Bye, even though I'm still in my humble abode.
Homer: Yes, and then all those Barneys can go rape HB
Peachy: What is with all the Star Wars freaks? You really need to get a life, dude.

Ripperpee wrote:

Can you make Super Mario Sunshine 2?

BeckerManEX: No, but Nintendo can, but don't expect it to be Sunshine 2, the next game will be brought back to the Mushroom Kingdom and all of our familiar places will be back.
Hairball: Of course, just send us some money and some very hot and young women, and we'll be sure to make SMS2 for you.
TW: YES! It will be a flash game where you have to click on Mario to go "It's A Me, Mario!". It will sell billions.
SolarGamer: McGaffin will you WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: No, yell at Nintendo for that.
Homer: Can you make Mario Party 6?
Peachy: Sure. We will make SMS2 just for you. And just because you're so special, we'll throw in a thousand bucks free with every purchase of the game. Sound good?

Maximillion Pegasus, King of Games wrote:

Hey, your site is so bad that I'm giving you a free ride in a helicopter (It'll arrive in 1 week due to how slow planes fly over the ocean.) to my island. There, I will let hundreds of cartoon characters rape you and kick your butts. Then, I'm gonna read your minds to see how ugly your moms are. SolarGamer-boy gets special treatment. He gets to be dissected clean by a bunch of Dark Rabbits and Blue Eyes, Toon Dragons. Then, I'll steal your souls. Goodbye, and see you all in the Shadow Realm. Hehehe:)

BeckerManEX: That you for telling me about what you will do, now how do you expect to get us on the chopper?
Hairball: REALLY? Oh my god, I'll be there right away. Make sure you send the free tickets to the correct address, I can't wait to get raped by various cartoon characters. I've waited my life for that. YES! Time to go back to masturbating.
Tiger: What the hell?
Homer: Why the hell are you here is our site suck dicks?
Peachy: Can't wait!

The one who hath plagueth thee wrote:

It is time for me to end my life, I shall plaugueth thee no more-I shall descend into the dust, leaving behind a mere memory. I will leave this world of pain and suffering, entering a world which no man hath seen-lest his soul be united with the one who hath created it.

BeckerManEX: How about you go and play on the freeway and make everyone happy?
Hairball: Bah, Shakespeare is gay. Oh wait, he wasn't gay, he was just extremely horny. Ah, he could still be gay.
TW: ...
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT NOW! NOW! NOW!
Tiger: What happened to the questions in this emailbag..
Homer: w0rd
Peachy: Hath the hathbrown plauguth thee McDonalds hath upith urith assith.

Kevin wrote:

If Microsoft comes up with a handheld, Nintendo Can consider themselves doomed (Esp. if they are anticipating what they should put up as launch titles) If Nintendo does monopolize and Resort to an XBox 2nd party Devoloper, Zelda, Metroid, F-Zero, Starfox, Even Pokemon can be fudged to reach a Teen-Mature audience while Mario and Donkey Kong play Musical Chairs and Vanish

BeckerManEX: Microsoft would never succeed with a handheld and Nintendo will never make games for the Xbox.
Hairball: I don't see any problem with MS making a handheld, if they do, that's actually a good thing, competition results in lower prices, and better games. Think about it, the GBA shouldn't cost that much, compare it to the technology of a Palm or something, it's quite crap. Considering that Xbox and Gamecube sales are about equal, there wouldn't be much benefit for Nintendo to develop for Xbox.
TW: Microsoft Handheld? Neogeo, Gamegear, Wonderswan, Game.com ... The list is endless of failures...
Tiger: Xbox is already sucking, what makes you think that Microsoft handheld could beat out the fierce gameboy thats been around 10 or so years?
Homer: Sir, that is quite pointless. Even if the handheld is more powerful then the N64. Microsoft will still suck.
Peachy: yea ok.

Fooker wrote:


BeckerManEX: Excellent.
Hairball: Why you are just what you call yourself, a gay lord fooker.
TW: "Fook" You.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH.... OUT!.... LISTEN!
Tiger: LOL!
Homer: Hooker : HARDER BITCH, HARDER!!

Matt Koopa wrote:

1. Rareware is gay now! 2. Hairball sucks off his dead mother! 3. You gay fags suck off your parents! 4. Nintendo is making game for other systems?

BeckerManEX: 1. Kinda; 2. Really?; 3. No; 4. No, never.
Hairball: 1) They've been gay for quite sometime now. 2) I don't know about you, it's quite hard to suck off ghosts or spirits. 3) Uhhh.. 4) Sure, why not.
TW: 1. True 2. Debatable 3. False 4. False.
SolarGamer: Listen carefully! McGaffin WATCH OUT!!
Tiger: 1. ok 2. ok 3. no 4. no
Homer: 1. Ain't my problem 2. Yes, he mentions that a lot. 3. Fuck off 4. Fuck off
Peachy: 1) Ur gay now! 2) We've known that for years!! 3) It's funny hearing you talkin about yourself!!! 4) No?

Sunny Sharma wrote:

Okay Confess! Is that Luigi code real? Before I want to try the LUIGI IN SUPER MARIO 64 code, does it work or not? I really want luigi and it better not be fake. I looked at the pictures of luigi and they seem real. Reply back okay

BeckerManEX: I can't believe we still get these, NO IT WAS A JOKE!
Hairball: Sure it works, what's the point of us showing you off a super code like that if it doesn't work? That would be just a huge waste of time.
TW: If you rape your N64 it will work.
SolarGamer: I need you to WATCH OUT McGaffin! McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: NO, you moron.
Homer: No, its real. You must have done something wrong
Peachy: Where the hell have you been? that was an April fools day joke like TWO years ago.

Jago wrote:

My friend just asked me this so I'll ask you guys… "Why is Peach such a ho?"

BeckerManEX: Because she isn't.
Hairball: There are many reasons that she is. One, she's always wearing pink, as we all know, pink is a rather sexual colour. Two, she's always flirting with Mario, and always asking for it.
TW: Ever since she got her voice surgically heightened, she's been down Mushroom Way's brothels.
SolarGamer: If you don't WATCH OUT McGaffin something will happen NOW!
Tiger: She isn't a ho, because it's spelt 'hoe' anyway.
Homer: Peach is a ho, but Peachy below me is quite hot and quite bitchy
Peachy: Why are u and ur gay friend male prostitutes? HMMM? That's what I thought.

Fan of yours wrote:

Solar Gamer your my hero , I love you. You teach every little fag on their gay little computers how to be who they are...FAGS!!! You make me complete!

BeckerManEX: Thanks for your uncalled for input.
Hairball: Gee, that sure sounds lovely.
TW: Okay.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!! (P.S. Thank you but... McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!)
Tiger: Solar, go make him complete.
Homer: is your name supposed to be... fag of yours?
Peachy: OooOooOooOoo, solar, u have a gay admirer, now don't you feel special?

None of your business wrote:

Super Mario Sunshine was great. Hairball wouldn't know a good game if it screwed him in the ass.

BeckerManEX: While that may be true, I agree, SMS was a great game!
Hairball: You're right, I don't. I'd rather stick a dildo up my ass.
TW: It was worth more than 7.5, but less than 9.0
SolarGamer: SHUT UP! THIS IS IMPORTANT! McGaffin needs to WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Well, maybe he /would/ enjoy it if it gave him sexual favors.
Homer: Ahahhaha, good job, mate
Peachy: Never played it.

Osama bin Laden wrote:

This STUPID site is so STUPID that I'm gonna kick your STUPID @$$E$ one at a STUPID time, you STUPID sons of STUPID 8!7CHE$. Then, I'm gonna shoot you STUPID people with a STUPID sniper rifle. Then, I'll tear out your d!C6$ and feed them to my STUPID hostages. If you don't want to be STUPID corpses, then give this STUPID site some STUPID games. You have been warned! -O (Note the middle finger affect.)

BeckerManEX: How these eight year olds get near a computer is beyond me.
Hairball: My my, I'm quite scared of you Mr. bin Laden. Good luck on your mission to destroy the rest of the world. I'm sure you'll do it.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT it IS COMING!!!
Tiger: You, my friend, is STUPID. :D
Homer: -O <--- gay, <^> <--- 0wnage
Peachy: ur a STUPID retarded STUPID person so dont be STUPID and bother us STUPID.

Helena wrote:

Have you heard of a band called the "Beatles" ? Yes, silly name, I know. What kind of self respecting people would name their band after bugs? British ones, my friend. Anyway, they sing this song about a "yellow sumbmarine". They theorize that all our homes are yellow and can go underwater. They say we all live in a yellow submarine. My home does neither of these things; I live above a bar. I'm rambling now. Anyway, there IS a yellow submarine in Super Mario Sunshine. Does opening this yellow submarine let us see all of humanity inside of it? And while we're on the topic of Beatles songs, if there's an octopus's garden under the sea, then why don't the octopus live there, and not behind ferris wheels?

BeckerManEX: I can't eve begin to tell you how freaking stupid this is.
Hairball: Beatles? You mean those dirty little critters that gives everyone the creeps?
TW: OK...
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!! HE IS HERE!!!!!
Tiger: You talkin' about da beat-ales? (with the brit accent, yah) Except the bug is Beetle. And, maybe Mario did jock off the popular Beatles, after all, yellow submarines were here before the Beatles were.
Homer: Have you ever heard of a group called Cocks? Yes, that is a stupid name too. But they have a way to prove it, all their members have huge cocks. Their song "Come in Me" is also one of the most popular in the world
Peachy: ok.

Karlie wrote:

I'm trying to download the game super mario world that goes to super nintendo but I can't find it. I already have snes downloaded to my computer. Do you have super mario world for super nintendo that I could download?

BeckerManEX: No, go buy the game.
Hairball: Yes, of course I have it, but of course I'm not willing to send it to you.
TW: www.snesromsareillegalbutfunasfuck.org
Tiger: Get your own damn SNES and SMW game, you can easily get it cheap at used game stores.
Homer: We shall report you to the RCMP now, Go Go Go!
Peachy: Not for you, nor anyone else.

Luigi128 wrote:

(SMS)Once again, Nintendo has made a crappy game without Luigi!!!!!

BeckerManEX: No it hasn't.
Hairball: Luigi already got his 60 seconds of fame, move on.
TW: True.
SolarGamer: SHIT! I WAS RIGHT! McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Oh no, of course. Well Luigi did shine, no pun intended, in his Mansion.
Homer: Go Mario Go, screw Luigi. That cock sucker
Peachy: AHAHAHAHA sux for you!

Kala wrote:

Do you know what game consoles it exists on? Can you play it on the computer or the ps2? please e-mail me back asap!

BeckerManEX: What exists on?
Hairball: What exactly is "it"? Do you mean your little porno volleyball game? I think that game is on the Xbox. Xbox is for all those horny teenagers and men with no lives who can't get a girlfriend, or some good pornos.
TW: Yes you can play "Super Mario's Pro Pasta Muncher 5" by Activision on the PS2.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!! You may be raped!!!
Tiger: What game are you referring to?
Homer: It exists in earth, and you play it on your penis
Peachy: Do you know what it is? Is it really an it? Is it? Hmm?

JMe wrote:

hey i really like your mario stories escpecially the super mario saga, but i read them all already so i would appreciate if you updated it. I would like to see what happens next. hope its not too much trouble, thankyou.

BeckerManEX: People around here have a disease called lazyness...
Hairball: I believe that is up to SolarGamer to decide.
TW: Solar disappeared again. What an annoying bastard.
SolarGamer: McGaffin WATCH OUT!!! (Super Mario Saga DOES rule but there are other more serious issues going on at the moment... like McGaffin WATCHING OUT!!!)
Tiger: Solar, it's for you.
Homer: In the next Episode of SMS. Peach got a penis implant, and fucked Mario up the ass
Peachy: In other words, get ur lazy butt up and start working.

SolarGamer wrote:

I'm so gay that I married 700 male Toads! The first 200 are pretty calm, so I have sex with them a lot. The next 300 hit me in the balls a lot, so I have sex with them more than other 300 because I like rough guys! The next 399 are lazy, so I jump on their face and give them gallons of man juice to get them awake. The final one is wealthy, so I usually con him for some loot. This is Solar "Gay" Gamer, signing off!

BeckerManEX: Why are we even posting this crap?
Hairball: Wow, that must mean Solar's penis is getting quite tired these days, with all the fucking he has to do all the time.
TW: Can't be bothered to reply.
SolarGamer: WATCH OUT McGaffin!!! (This faggot bitch of a cunt is not me but an impersonater! You see... I married 800 gay Toads whom I had sexual relations with. This guy is such a bitch... OH NO! McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!)
Tiger: 'nother imposter. The daily life of solar da man.
Homer: Go Solar!
Peachy: Wow, very interesting, where'd you get all them toads from lol?

Luigi128 wrote:

You know what??!!!The Super Mario Saga SUXXXX!!!!!I hate Solar Gamer, all he does is disgusting.Why don't you fire Solar Gamer and start concentrating on some better stories, you always say the next episode everything is going to start getting good but it still SUX!I can't stand 100 episodes like that!!!And don't give me that special edition upgrade crap, because trust me, it won't get any better!!!And why do you ask for our e-mail in the form.You never use it.Unless of course you sell it to some junkmail company or some other crappy thing like that, and darn you for all this!The only reason I even visit your site anymore is to look at the headlines and see just how pathetic the pole is.I used to visit all the time. SLACKERS!

BeckerManEX: Sorry you don't like it, but we aren't forcing you to read it.
Hairball: It must be a love and hate thing...
TW: Are you the same as Luigi64 from 1999?
SolarGamer: Luigi128... in times such as where McGaffin must WATCH OUT!!! I hardly care what you think of me or my story. McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: Ho hum, another day, another lamer to post.
Homer: SUXXXX, hmmm. That sounds like porn. If porn washing your mind away?
Peachy: Obviously you still do, and solar just makes everything much funnier.

Retard wrote:

This website is full of the most retards, and jerks, in history. I mean... I know why Hairball and Solargamer are here, but, I can't even conceive of why the rest of you fools are here!!! DUUUUHHHHH!!!!!!

BeckerManEX: Your name says it all.
Hairball: Retard, you retard, if you are going to bitch at SM128C, at least give yourself a better name. Retard.
TW: ogm ur so kewl we r so skared of u cum kill us.
SolarGamer: I am not a retard but I am a jerk and a goodlooking one at that. Who am I kidding though, most people who are ugly think of the goodlooking population as jerks. I wish there was a concentration camp for the ugly. Word. Microsoft Word. Ah you just a playa hata. Real One Plater. Wow! I'm having deja vu. It's like... all... this... has... happened... BEFORE! And with that I sign off on my first intelluctual responses of this e-mail bags history. My final thought for you is... McGaffin WATCH OUT!!!
Tiger: DUHHH!! I write wonderful reviews. I am the one that calms them down from their antics.
Homer: Fuck you, I ownz j00. Pok Guy La, Hum ga Ling
Peachy: Cause we fit right in with the retards and jerks, DUUUUHHHHH!!!