E-Mailbag for October 26, 2002

Gamespot wrote:

Apparently we have been spying on you we seem to have found that you stole ALL of our reviews, previews, screenshots, and even our advertisements! I'm (not) sorry to say, but we will have to shut your asses down for eternity. Thank you for your cooperation and please visit your local GameSpot for all of your gaming needs, 'cause it's where gamers go to know. P.S. We have accepted you (Net-Tech) to our staff team! We look forward to seeing your great work for the site, and we are very glad you chose us over your crapy ass site. ~Thank you for your time and, Bandwith.

BeckerManEX: Number one, it is GameSTOP! That you can find at your local mall, number two, our reviews and editorials are of a higher caliber than GameSpot's so why would we want to steal them?
Hairball: I don't think Net-tech will be around here anytime soon, the SM128C board of governors have voted to banish that little loser, cause... he's a little loser. End of story.
TW: Yes, Netty's site is "Crapy ass", thanks for taking him off our hands, 'Gamespot'
SolarGamer: Hardy Har Har Har! This jackass tried to be funny. Awwwwww, isn't he just so cute. Too bad this message reeks of fat, greasy, pimply fanboy arthritic hands. The sad truth is that people like this are secluded in their own little dream word of "dungeons" and "dragons". I honestly don't know which is more queer now-a-days: Video-game players or Star Trek 'Trekkies'. Hmmm, if I had say one at this point this little attempt at humor has pushed the videogame players past Bob Saggot dorkiness. You make me SICK!
Tiger: That's certainly nice to know.
Homer: Oh shittttt, GameSpot is praising us. LETS ALL HAVE WINE AND CRACK TO CELEBRATE.
Bluestorm6: Ha. I'm sure you are a legitimate representative of Gamespot... one known to put spyware into their "acceleration software." I'm not a big fan of this site, but I'm quite sure that this is better than gamespot, the gamespy wannabe.

Guy on an acid trip wrote:

Woah! The sky is exploding! My computer monitor...it holds the answer to every question in the world! Hairball is staring at me..HE IS A DEMON! He is is Satan's messanger! I'LL KILL HIM!

BeckerManEX: Do us all a favor and go play on the freeway.
Hairball: Satan is the devil, therefore his messenger is probably also a devil. You cannot kill devils.
TW: I have to say, Get off the Crack now.
SolarGamer: Hey fag! You are on acid... and yet you choose to waste your mind trip on the computer looking at a morbid little Super Mario site. I'd laugh at you normally but I am feeling rather kind today. Instead I will pray to Allah that you get aids. Losers who have enough money to buy acid should NOT be surfing the internet which (as you know) is mostly filled with repressed poindexter homosexuals. (Me being the exception to this rule of course.) What a waste of a mind trip. You make me SICK!
Tiger: Nah, I Hairball is actually a robot. So you can't kill him..or can you?
Homer: OMG, AND YOUR DICK IS CRACKING. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW??
Bluestorm6: HB your site is full of little bitches.

Colonel Vorozyigrad of the Russian 5th Army wrote:

We must shut down the counter-revolutionary non-socialist website sm128c! We must kill the capitalistic staff members of sm128c! Long live Stalin! Glory to the Communist party! Glory to Russia!

BeckerManEX: I love Capitalism
Hairball: I am kind of confused. It is without a doubt that we are socialist, but however, I think Stalin has been long dead, my fellow Colonel. You can take that Red Army, and roll it on the ground as red carpet.
TW: Go to Hell.
SolarGamer: In communist Russia car drive you! Make sense? It better or ELSE. Word! Microsoft Word. Ah you just a playa hata. Real One Player. Wow! I'm having deja vu. It's like... all... this... has... happened... BEFORE! OH MY FUCKING GOD! McGaffin WATCH OUT! (Come on... I had to include these mindless ramblings somewhere. It's become a tradition. What better place to stick them than at this "pole-smoking"... "carpet munching" question (Don't know what those two words symbolize? Turn on your sexual thinking cap and all will make sense.... or ELSE!) Word! Microsoft Word. Ah you just a playa hata. Real One Player. Wow! I'm having deja vu. It's like... all... this... has... happened... BEFORE!)
Tiger: If only we lived in Russia, that would be one thing..
Homer: What the hell is with these EMAILS. They're so... long and ...gay...
Bluestorm6: Don't you have some underage children to rape or something?

Dark Guy wrote:

Super Mario Sunshine kicks butt! I want that game! And you know what? I want Mario to squirt water all on your balls, SolarGamer! Then, people will see you walking with a wet spot and call you Diaper Boy! I'll have my revenge on you yet!

BeckerManEX: Only four year olds and junior high students would find this funny, I am neither.
Hairball: Nah, I'm sure other people would assume that Solar is having a little too fun with himself.
TW: I'll get Mario to squirt 'water' up YOUR ass.
SolarGamer: I agree with Dark Guy... I want Mario to squirt water on my balls too. I mean, DAMN! It has been forever since Homer sucked me off. I'll tell you what Dark Guy. Since you seem to be my pal maybe you could lick my balls and let me blow my load in your mouth. Heck I will return the favor. But one thing that I don't swing with is the molestation of babies! You fucking loose cunt. You want me to wear diapers so you can molest me? You make me SICK with a capital S... SolarGamer style.
Tiger: Oooo..go get em Solar.
Homer: I think Solar squirt water on himself everyday...
Bluestorm6: Mario sunshine is very gay. And I see you are as well, having fantasies about Solar's naked, wet balls.

Kyle wrote:

Super Mario Sunshine ROCKS!!!!!! But that Nintendos Mistake? HAHAHAHA! That was a good one! Not Nintendos Mistake, Super Mario Sunshine is great and he must not have known that it sold over 1,000,000 copies on it's FIRST TEN Days!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean he wants it to be "cool",ya right he's judging before he even playes it because of it's name. PLEASE...... Come on. Whoever agrees with my statement please e-mail me.

BeckerManEX: I agree that the game totally rocks!
Hairball: I have no idea how much the Super Mario Sunshine sales were, but blah, I don't give a crap anymore.
TW: Who the hell are you talking about?
SolarGamer: Kyle you are stupid pure and simple. This has been the WORST Mario game in Nintendo's 20 year history of the Mario franchise. It might have sold okay for a Nintendo GameCube game (which isn't very good for any other console), but it was the most disappointed release in terms of sales compared to every other major Mario game releases of the past. Besides the statistical information, Super Mario Sunshine is just sooooo stupid pure and simple. I would rather watch an episode of Barney than this smut. Oh sure the gameplay is okay, but that is only because it was a rip off exactly of SM64. Besides the lack of originality in the game play department, the plot is HORRENDOUS! We waited all these years for a new Mario game and this is what they worked so hard on? Excuse me if I am not some disillusioned fanboy who accepts whatever crap Miyamoto shoves down our throats. If you like eating crap then that is fine... to each their own is what I always say. But I myself will continue to dine on some sweet sweet PUSSY! NOW STOP STEALING MY FRUIT! I know it was you in my backyard last night. You may have fooled me at first when I turned on the back porch lights and you started meowing and jumped on the brick wall on all fours. But the more I thought about it... YOU ARE NOT A CAT!!! It was you. Anyways let's have sex. My spoon? No donkey my violin! You make me SICK!
Tiger: Um...yeah.
Homer: Screw you, we don't like SMS. Yes, we all know SM is good. But hell, Mr. Myaomoto has to think of better ways to name his games.
Bluestorm6: I admit, 'he' is right... fucktard.

SuperShark wrote:

If you had 200 GCNs, and someone smashed all of 'em, how much would you sue for?

BeckerManEX: Why would I have two hundred of them? More than likely I would sue for what they are worth and then a kazillion dollars to settle my emotional anguish.
Hairball: First, I would slap him, then I'll rape him, and then I'll cut off his genitals, and get my 200 GCNs back.
TW: ONE MILLION DOLLARS! (Yes, thats my final answer Regis)
SolarGamer: I want to bust on a nutt on Hairball's head. Why? That's a good question. I am as lost as you all are.
Tiger: I would kick his ass and then take his money. Works better than suing.
Homer: Erm, it seems like this is another retarded question. I think i'll pass it to other staff members to answer
Bluestorm6: Nothing, because he is doing this world a good deed.

Shadow-X wrote:

Damn you, SolarGamer! You can go to Hell for all I fucking care! I am sick of your shit! You just blew thousands of dollars of your ass! When I become old enough to become the damn president, I will hire a fucking lawyer to give me your money! That's final! Oops! See what you did? You made me cuss! Damn you to everlasting Hell!

BeckerManEX: Right, the day you become President is the day Rosie O'Donnell becomes straight.
Hairball: Solar's ass is worth that much money? Holy hell, I can't believe that. And if you're the president, you don't need lawyers. I assume you mean President of United States, where he can do whatever the hell he wants, and gets away with it. Or perhaps the president of some poor African country, which wouldn't be as good.
TW: (read line below)
SolarGamer: Oh NO! Some fag boy hates me! GASP! What am I going to do my life is over. Hmmm, I know what will cheer my up! Some nice sweet lustrous sex with a girl I don't even know. .... What's that you say ShadowX? You have never got any hot tail? That my friend, is a reality that you should get used to. BUT DON'T WORRY! There are plenty of jobs available for such unfortunate people who have celibacy thrust upon them. My suggestion to you would to become a Catholic Priest! Want to know the advantage in this for you? Why... you get some hot little 9 year old boy ass. See! There are loopholes in your sad celibate life. Don't say your old pal SolarGamer never helped you out.
Tiger: Oooo..everlasting Hell. Scary.
Homer: Yay, you cussed, now we're all so scared. Hey Mister President, can you blow us all now?
Bluestorm6: Doesn't everyone love how little 10 year olds get access to the net?

Deviant wrote:

Owwwwww...I just stuck a fork into an electrical socket...can I go jump off a cliff?

BeckerManEX: Yes, please do, or go play with that other kid on the freeway.
Hairball: Jumping off a cliff would seem to make things worse. But that 110V won't hurt you, that is if you live in North America or Japan...
TW: Sure Thing. Dive head first so you die sooner.
SolarGamer: NO YOU FUCKING BITCH! You need to jump on BeckerMan's face NOW! He needs one gallon of man juice NOW and you are our only hope. NOW! You make me SICK!
Tiger: No, cause you are already electricuted.
Homer: Ohhhh, I know what you're trying to do. Simulating sex with a fork and an electrical socket is not a good idea. Better to do it with your little stick and your wonderful little fingers
Bluestorm6: Please do.

Drug Dealer wrote:

Hey SolarGamer how much pot do you smoke every day? I can hook you up with some good marajuana...

BeckerManEX: Again, only four year olds and junior high students....
Hairball: He doesn't need any, just send me 100 pounds of it right away.
TW: He doesn't need pot, Mario is a good enough Drug for him.
SolarGamer: Well I smoke a dub everyday. But I don't needs da hook up bro. I got ma plenty of the reefer all by myself. You I like... Pot smokers of the world unite.
Tiger: Sorry, he smokes pans! Hahaha, sorry bad joke.
Homer: NO, MARIJUANA IS MINE. MMIINNEEEE MMMMIIINNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Bluestorm6: The fact that you can't even spell marijuana tells me that a) You're a homo or b) You're a homo.

Man wrote:

Do you find it strange that Nintendo's official statement of Rare's purchase focused entirely on profit figures? In the past, particularly when Nintendo was (monitarily) losing to Sony, they have always retained a "quality of product over quantity of sales"; representatives have openly stated this in many interviews. I was just wondering what you guys thought about this (with the exception of Solar; he can just go on bashing my negro brothers out of jealousy for our eclipsing cocks... heh. I guess that's where he gets his nick from... Sorry for eclipsing you there, Solar!)

BeckerManEX: No matter how much Nintendo says that their products are superior (which they are) they are still in the business to make money, and Rare wasn't doing that for them. Like any good company, you have to stop losing money on development that doesn't deliver the returns you expect. Rare's last few games haven't sold extremely well even though they rules (Conker's BFD sold only 25% of the produced copies) so it comes down to a business decision and I do think Nintendo made the right one in a business sense, but to all gamer's we feel betrayed that Rare is now with Microsoft. It is just how things go, even if we dont' like them.
Hairball: In my honest opinion, Nintendo is losing it. They don't know what the hell they are doing, and seem to be making horrible decisions. Rare is one of their best (if not THE best) second party developer they have right now. Selling them off to Microsoft, their second biggest competitor is just something they should be ashamed of.
TW: Since you really want to read Solar's reply, i'll make this quick. Nintendo suck ass.
SolarGamer: OMG! NERD! NERD! NERD! NERD! NERD! NERD! NERD! NERD! NERD! Why the fuck do you care about a videogame developer? God forbid they switch companies. I suggest you become a male prostitute. I bet someone with your interests needs a good cock up the ass, and you could be paid handsomely for it. I hear Shadow X would pay to get some of your ass (He is the guy who asked the question before this.)
Tiger: Well, everything comes down to money. Unfortunately, Nintendo is yet another money grubbing company, but they seem to put out good games.
Homer: Well, I guess we all know Nintendo will become something like Sega someday. A few years later, when they release their GameRectangle, it'll die like DreamCast
Bluestorm6: You sir, are a dumbass with no life.

Clem wrote:

Will nintendo ever make a NEW Mario game for Gameboy Advance. Completely new. Not a rehash of Nes or Snes of old Mario games.But a new one.Thank you.

BeckerManEX: It is very likely, but they seem to be intent on revisiting the older games because they came convert and pump them out much faster than starting a whole new development cycle for a new game.
Hairball: They probably will, after they port all those craptastic old Mario games.
TW: Wario Land 4, does that count as a Mario Game? Oops...
SolarGamer: Clem? What are you trailer trash or something? I suggest that you jump onto the moon. I hear spacemen live up there and eat cheese. Hairball cheese. OOooooooooooooo desktop carburetors. You think I don't make sense? HOW COULD YOU FUCKING THINK THAT!? I AM QUITTING! I AM QUITTING! I AM CUMMING! HARDER! HARDER! OH GOD HARDER! You make me SICK!
Tiger: We hope so. A new mario advance sounds nifty.
Homer: Gameboy Advance sucks, why would you buy a game when you can't even play it?
Bluestorm6: I like the remakes. They give me nostalgia trips. I don't have to use drugs anymore.

Satan wrote:

Hello. I just wanted to comment on how bad this web site is. In fact, it is so bad, it will give you all a free ticket to Hell! I will be mailing them within the next 6-8 weeks. (Give or take a month or so, due to the crappy postal service from Hell to earth) You have all earned a nice vacation in the afterlife in the 8th circle of Hell, where you will all be screwed by hundreds of horny Marios, Luigis, and Bowsers for eternity. However, SolarGamer gets special treatment. He gets the privilege of the 9th circle, where he will be placed in a room with 6 of the best porno stars we can find. 5 of them, however, are cannibals. Good luck, and see you in Hell! :) Hehehe!

BeckerManEX: Just so you know, the unfaithful (the people who screwed for a living) are on one of the upper levels of hell, and hell is not capitalized fool.
Hairball: Damn it Satan, go back to hell where you belong!
TW: I can't even be bothered to read this piece of shit.
SolarGamer: Hello. I just wanted to comment on how bad this web site is. In fact, it is so bad, it will give you all a free ticket to Hell! I will be mailing them within the next 6-8 weeks. (Give or take a month or so, due to the crappy postal service from Hell to earth) You have all earned a nice vacation in the afterlife in the 8th circle of Hell, where you will all be screwed by hundreds of horny Marios, Luigis, and Bowsers for eternity. However, SolarGamer gets special treatment. He gets the privilege of the 9th circle, where he will be placed in a room with 6 of the best porno stars we can find and fuck them till the cows come home. Good luck, and see you in Hell! :) Hehehe!
Tiger: Wee. You don't need a ticket to hell, you are granted access after you die..
Homer: OH YES, MY WILDEST DREAM OF BEING RAPED BY THOUSANDS OF PEACHES HAS FINALLY COME TRUE. THANK YOU GOD. THANK YOU!!!
Bluestorm6: When I read your first sentence I was thinking "Amen brother!" But then I read on. Obviously you are a mario fanboy, who pays HB by visiting his lame-ass site everyday.

SonicGQ wrote:

As I was browsing through the December 18, 1999 mailbag, there was a question about Mario being on Playstation. BeckerManEX had a response, "What's next? Rare developing for Microsoft?" Apparently that is true...

BeckerManEX: See I predicted this, kinda, years ago! I thought at the time it was a catchy comeback, but I guess I proved myself right overtime. I'm scared now, I didn't even remember typing that.
Hairball: Apparently Mr. Becker is quite good at predicting things. Good for him, now tell me when I'll win the lottery.
TW: That's going in the E-mailbag greatest hits, under "Conspiracy Theories" NOW.
SolarGamer: Yes I head BeckerMan was carrying Hairball's child. What's it to you?
Tiger: He predicts the future!
Homer: Shhhhh, Becker is psychic, you'd better listen to what he has to say now.
Bluestorm6: I won't insult you because thats actually kind of funny and cool.

Rachel wrote:

How old do you have to be to join the staff?

BeckerManEX: I was 16 when I started, good god has it really been that long, I'm glad I have a real job...
Hairball: There is no age limit, but if you are old enough to suck SolarGamer's cock, then I don't see any problem.
TW: Past the canadian age of 'consent'
SolarGamer: You have to rape me... and then you have to rape me.... and then you have to rape me... and then and only then can you join the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Zordon always sets up these rules. He is such a whore. Alpha his sex-bot. GO GO POWER RANGERS!
Tiger: It is not a question of age, but of sanity.
Homer: If you find your penis or boobies start to erect/grow bigger. Then you're legitment for being a staff
Bluestorm6: No broads allowed. Sorry.

Puffball wrote:

Net-tech is being a fucker again, so please unban me. He banned me when I told him that MG was gay because IGN is his life support, and please demote him in the process. Thank you.

BeckerManEX: I try not to get involved in the workings of the board even though I am an Admin.
Hairball: Haha, sad little Puffy, well you're going to hell with Netty, and MG sucks ass, and you all know it too. (Regulars to the SM128C chat room will know what I am talking about)
TW: ...
SolarGamer: Puffball is my dad and Net-tech is my mother. They always fight and bicker like this and try to embarrass me on the web-site. I tell them not bring their fights online... but they have problems because my mom is a chimp and my dad an aardvark. They love to shower me in G-strings. I don't know why... they just do. TO THE EXTREME!
Tiger: Ah, what little ditties that Netty goes through..
Homer: Sorry, we don't deal with chatroom issues here
Bluestorm6: LOL

Doug Hart wrote:

OK, I buy my son Super Mario 2 and a GBA this summer and I can't put the thing down. I get to Bowser's Back Door and I don't get a final Gate!! What is up with that! I've scoured the web to find if this is a bug or did I not activate it somehow?? Any answers? Thanks for any help you can provide..

BeckerManEX: Tehehe...
Hairball: As far as I know, once you beat Bowser, the game ends, and that is that.
TW: I haven't played Super Mario Advance 2. Sorry.
SolarGamer: Do you spank your son? Is he a naughty boy? If so please e-mail at solargamer@sm128c.com so we can discuss it over some hot jack off sessions.
Tiger: Hrm..not sure.
Homer: What the hell is this "secret gate"?
Bluestorm6: First bit of help: Learn how to use proper grammar.

Mario punched SolarGamer in the crotch and wrote:

It's-a-me! Mario!

BeckerManEX: Excellent choice of name...
Hairball: It's-not-a-me Mario!
TW: Thank-a-you-a-very-much-4-playin'-ma-game.
SolarGamer: That's right bitch. I like it rough. Hit me in the crotch again. This must be my ex-girlfriend for only she would know what gets me off and punching me in the crotch is just what does it.
Tiger: It's-a-solar! Look at em go! Rolling on the ground!
Homer: Ohh yes, the sweet sound of Mario...
Bluestorm6: You sir, are a dumbass.

Chris wrote:

How did you know how to get Luigi in SM64, because there is no way you could have just stumbled across this method. And why must the file be B? It is just obvious that you used some painting software to change the red on Mario to the green on Luigi, in an effort to make it look like Luigi is there. And Luigi's eyes are plain black. Is this another phony Luigi code, or just an April Fools day joke according to the date?

BeckerManEX: That was like three years ago, you people are still on this?! Yes Photoshop can do somethings so very easily, I could make Mario yellow with poke-a-dots if I felt like it, Jezz, people take a hint...
Hairball: You're not trying hard enough, make some love to your N64, and maybe you'll be able to get Luigi in SM64.
TW: IT WAS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE NEARLY THREE YEARS AGO. Anyway, he just pasted in Luigi from another game, got it?
SolarGamer: God damn this e-mail bag is long. I am getting tired of writing insults to you poindexters. Yadda yadda yadda you suck.... you are gay.... yadda yadda yadda… you get my point right Chris? I hope you were not insulted that I didn't take the time to insult you properly.
Tiger: Oh my, aren't we behind on the times.
Homer: YOU DUMBFUCK, ITS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. YOU FUCKING AMERICANS, GROW SOME BRAINS.
Bluestorm6: Aren't you a fucking genius.

Dave wrote:

WHENEVER I UPLOAD A PICTURE OF ONE OF YOUR MARIO PICTURES TO MY SITE. IT TURNS INTO YOU FREAKING LITTLE BANNER LOGO!!!!!! SToP IT!!!!!!

BeckerManEX: Deep-linking is not allowed...I have some funnier things at my site from people who were using my bandwidth to steal my DVD screenshots, they got a nice little surprise when the next image loaded up.
Hairball: The point of that is to discourage "hot linking", which ends up costing SM128C a lot of money in bandwidth.
TW: Stop leeching you fucking horseturd.
SolarGamer: That's funny... Whenever I upload a picture from slutsRus.com all I get is pictures of your mom. I wouldn't mind normally accept for the fact that your mom is fat and repulsive. That... and I am not into bestiality and let's face it... your mom is quite the beast. HO HO!
Tiger: You bandwidth leecher! Evil!!!
Homer: If you have a brain, you should know how to do it properly
Bluestorm6: This proves my theory that all leechers are stupid useless 10 year old kiddies.

Tigger wrote:

I was just curious. i beat super mario world for super nintendo with all 96 levels, and did the code and the secret did not work. i went to the tube at the top of the vanilla level like your website said, the one by the star warp, and nothing happened. is there any way you could give me some pointers as how to make the code work? i would greatly appreciate your help.

BeckerManEX: We need to stop it with the jokes, people can't seem to tell the difference.
Hairball: You're not doing the code correctly, just read it over and over until you understand it, and it'll work fine.
TW: Delete your file and throw your game pak out the window onto the road. It'll happen during flight, so make sure to catch it before the car runs over it!
SolarGamer: The wonderful thing about Tiggers. Is Tiggers the wonderful thing. Their tops are made of the rivers. Their bottoms are made of the springs. Their bouncy, trouncy, pouncy, founcy... fun fun fun fun FUN! The most wonderful thing about Tiggers is that I'm the only one. I'M! The only one. .... I eat skittles but a bird pecked my head and stole them. Then I cried. That is all.
Tiger: You jocker! I am the one and only..original..Tiger. Accept no imitations.
Homer: YOU FUCKING RETARD, READ ABOVE
Bluestorm6: Break your super nintendo and get a real life.

Harry is Gay wrote:

Harry is Gay

BeckerManEX: Agreed.
Hairball: Goddamn. You idiots just don't understand. I've mentioned at least 3 times that I am bisexual, not gay.
TW: I'm not going to compliment that with an answer.
SolarGamer: Harry is Gay is Gay for saying Harry is Gay even though Harry is Gay in real life. Make sense? It better... or ELSE!
Tiger: Of course!
Homer: Yes, we all agreed on that quite a while ago
Bluestorm6: Haha. Yeah.

EAT MY DICK wrote:

MUAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA MUAHAHHAHHAHHAAHAHAHHAAHHAHA MUAAHHAHA *COUGH COUGH* MUAHAHAHHAH MUAHAHHA *CHOKE* *GASP* -----dies----

BeckerManEX: The world is not a better place...
Hairball: Yes, that's what will happen if your dick gets eaten. You will die.
TW: Fucking Lecter, wanting to eat Penises.
SolarGamer: No fucker I don't eat dick. I eat cock and pussy. You know... chicken and cats. Most people think eating cats (pussies) is wrong, but I don't. Plus whenever that hungry aroma of a chicken (cock) enters my nose, I just can't stop gobbling one down. Mmmmmmmm, cock and pussies.
Tiger: Wow, look at him kick the bucket. Bye bucket, bye.
Homer: You're telling other people to eat your dick and you ate it yourself? That's not a very good invitation
Bluestorm6: I'm sure at some point in time that would be funny... No wait no it wouldn't.

Guess wrote:

Hairball I'm sorry 69 but I found SolarGamer and he really knows how to please me 69 you probably want to know why I 69 chose Solar over you well Solar gave me 20 orgasms last night and Hairball you just couldn't do that and no offense HB but the size does matter if you get my drift 69 I'm so horny FUCK ME NOW SOLARGAMER FUCK ME! 6969696969696969

BeckerManEX: Four year olds and...
Hairball: Solar must be quite good to have the ability you 20 orgasms. Are you sure you didn't fake them?
TW: Kinky. (Did I just say that?) YOU FAG0rT111. Signs off.
SolarGamer: You are lying. I am not gay, hetero, or bi... Therefor I couldn't have had sex with you or Hairball. I am asexual, meaning I am attracted to myself. Ooooo howdy, if I could clone myself I would be fucking myself 24/7. Oh sure if I find a hot chick who matches my beauty I might give her a "ride"... but for the most part I am the greatest lover to myself. What's that you say? It's the end of the e-mail bag? Well, I just thought I would apologize if I offended anyone this time out (believe it or not some people do get offended by me;). This was my most sexual e-mail bag yet so I am issuing a warning: USE LUBRICANT WHEN RE-READING THIS! You could do alot of damage to yourself if you don't. Believe me, I know. And with that... Another e-mail bag bites the dust.
Tiger: Sicko.
Homer: I 13 want 13 you to fuckign 13 shut the fuck up 13. Please stop 13 being such a fucking 13 asshole. Uh oh 13, i forgot what the 13 hell i am trying to 13 say
Bluestorm6: Be sure to check out solar's gay porn video when it comes out.