E-Mailbag for August 3, 2002

Sean wrote:

In reference to april 2002 post about 2 extra levels in SWW...is this true. I can't make it happen....any detailed instructions?

BeckerManEX: What month was that, April? Can I get an April Fools joke? Obviously no one else did.
Hairball: The insturctions to open the secret levels in the GBA version of Super Mario World are listed on that news article.
Namek: Im not even sure what SWW, but I'm sure it involves a spork of some sort.
SolarGamer: Well...it IS true but it doesn't work for people that have queer tendencies such as yourself. I suggest seeing a therapist to work through these issues. Take my advice, whether or not SMW has extra levels in the game, it should be the LAST of you worries my friend. By the way...I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU. So stop asking.
Tiger: of course not.
TW: It was an April Fools' Joke!!!!!!

Alex wrote:

Solorgamer, being a big Batman fan, i liked the idea that part 6 was a bust off of BR. So can you make the next part a bust of Batman 1989? One other thing, when is part 15 of the Super Mario Saga coming out?

BeckerManEX: No.
Hairball: I believe it has already.
Namek: Batman is sucky. Spiderman is the Roxors.
SolarGamer: Actually Alex...you will find that the episode will have nothing to do with Batman. Towards the end of the Saga ALL will be revealed about how that part fits into the whole arch of the story. And by the way...I wrote that part almost 3 years ago when I was in Junior High (I am almost in college now). I will not be using any more similar plot themes from other sources. I have grown a lot as a writer and my own ideas for the Saga has greatly matured into something that is SOULY mine and completely original (not to mention copyrighted). If I could rewrite that part in the present to fit my own 100% unique vision, without a doubt I would. By the way...You are stuck in the past my friend. The Saga is up to Part 17 and Part 18 will be released as of next week. :\
Tiger: solar, solar, solar!
TW: Part 15 is already out, oh look, so is part 16! Ah! so is part 17! so Go read!

Jane wrote:

I loved the game Paper Mario!!!It was a lot of fun! I think you should make a second one!I have some cool ideas for it.I think you should make it so there can be 1-4 players.Luigi should come along.There should be new party members.You know,stuff like that.Please think about it and maybe even e-mail us with your thoughts.

BeckerManEX: For the 1,000,393,398,309 time, WE ARE NOT NINTENDO!
Hairball: I really doubt that we made that game. In fact, I really really really doubt it.
Namek: OK! WE WILL DO ALL OF THESE THINGS! AND WE WILL ONLY MAKE ONE COPY JUST FOR YOU! JUST EMAIL OUR WEBMASTER WITH YOUR ADDRESS.
SolarGamer: Does baby want a bottle? Listen miss slut-cakes...we are not Nintendo. But speaking for Nintendo I can reassure you that your game idea is crap and far worse than any episode of Full House. Why not just make Mario and Luigi gay lovers? Actually that isn't such a bad idea...Mario and Luigi could be gay lovers in the next game!!! I mean...people always wanted to see Mario ride Yoshi again and now he figuratively could (in a sexual way that is)....... Don't look at me like that.
Tiger: We should make one? Wow, I when did sm128c assimilate into Nintendo's game making department...
TW: We did not make Paper Mario. www.nintendo.com - So We have NO SAY over Paper Mario 2.

Tiffany wrote:

I am playing the old school nintindo super mario. I have passed all of the levels through four, but it will not let me move to level five on the map. Why? What do I have to do? Thank you.

BeckerManEX: That is really old school, so old school that I don't even remember.
Hairball: You must be talking about Super Mario Bros. There are 4 levels in each world, not 5. You must be daydreaming.
Namek: Ummmm Ummmmm what mario is this?!?!?! Huh Huh Huh?
SolarGamer: The question is...what will you do for me if I give you that piece of information. Tell you what let's meet in person and we can discuss it over at my place. Just be sure to bring some vaseline, a 12-inch hot dog, and A LOT of tape.
Tiger: Oh yeah! Old mario rocks! But I dunno what your prob is about. I passed SMB fine, but I usually warped past 5.
TW: I don't know what Mario game you mean, sorry. There was a lot of them , you know.

Shadow Chao wrote:

Hey can I ask you guys something, if you download a rom and you dont have the respectful cartridge and you dont delete after 24 hours, what will happen?

BeckerManEX: Your computer will explode and your name given to the FBI to arrest your stupid-ass.
Hairball: The ROM police will raid your house! And delete everything on your computer!
Namek: Its illegal as soon as you get it. the whole 24 hours thing is a lie. Even if you own the game a ROM is still illegal. Only Public Domain ROMs are legal.
SolarGamer: You will wake up the next morning to find a dog performing fellatio on your mother while your dad runs around the house screaming 'I WANT A COKE CAN VERSION OF A CARPET!'....Seriously though, how the fuck am I supposed poindexter? Your guess is as good as mine.
Tiger: Simply put, nothing.
TW: Nothing will happen, unless you call 911 (or whatever) and say, I downloaded an illegal game, is this ok?

Blackstar wrote:

Hey, you maybe saying to your head, whose this random guy e-mailing you. Anyways, I am blackstar, and I had konwn you for a very long time. We first met in the www.nintendorks.com chatroom, when you and this other guy in 1998, were discussing bout html codes, links, etc. I had no clue what you guys were talking about. You e-mailed we once, I dont remember why though. Well anyways, till today I notcied that you made your very own domain. I was shocked. Well, if you are wonderin, me, blackstar, created the 'L is real 2041' *** should now be 'L is real 2401'. The mysterious statue in the courtyard in SM64. you made, or somebody else, made a page abou tthis mysterious statue (after me ^_^), just take a look at this webpage. http://www.sm128c.com/april2000/luigifound.html I was shocked that my ideas would go into other sites! I was also shocked that YOU made the article! Well anyways, I credited you (kinda), in the www.gamefaqs.com page, in the message boards. Heres the page: http://s2.cgi.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.asp?board=22511 My topic, is the: 'L is real 2041??????' (Part 3) (. _[OFFICIAL]_. ) I am a well known person in gamefaqs, and a star in the SM64 boards. I am the one who made it popular, I was the one who led the way, I was the one who first came up with 'L is real 2401'... Its kinda ironic, how I seen u in the early stages of ur site, aand I see you telling bout the L is real 2041 mystery. Yet, here I am, The one who came up with it, and knowing you for well over 4 years! PLZ respond back.

BeckerManEX: Coolness.
Hairball: The "L is real 2041" was a rumour I scooped up from other Nintendo sites at the time. It seemed like a good, funny, shocking way to pull off a joke.
Namek: What?!?1 Harry ripped shit from you?!?! That bastard!
SolarGamer: You act as though we care... Why do you go back to jacking off with your 'online girlfriend' who in reality is nothing but a 46 year old perverted faggot.
Tiger: I didn't even try to read this nonsense.
TW: I can't be bothered to read all that. I'm sure Hairball will reply.

Peachy wrote:

I am your former staff member Hairball. My vagina cavity is secreting and becoming so wide that your whole staff can come in. I'm open for business boys. ;)

BeckerManEX: WTF? DOn't we have any mature people visit this site?
Hairball: That's what happens when you enter the world of prostitution for a little bit too long.
Namek: OMFG
SolarGamer: Peachy... remember me? We fucked a few times and you agreed to take it up the ass once. Yes well...I am glad you are still whoring around and all... but your statement has me confused. You couldn't possibly get the WHOLE staff in there. I mean have you seen Hairballs head? Once that melon is in you will be split in two. I also might suggest you not bragging about your looseness. Guys don't typically like that quality in a girl, unless you are fucking a rhino or an elephant.
Tiger: Hrm, I didn't need to know that.
TW: Even the Women?

Deezer wrote:

Saw this site, reminded me of yours. Don't know what you can do about it, though. http://www.tribumario.com/ You didn't find out from me.

BeckerManEX: It isn't too bad, what site doesn't have the three column, bottom/top bar look these days? It's even in that loser language of French!
Hairball: If I didn't find out from you, who did I find it out from?
Namek: The bastard stole my mother fucking shit design that bitch ass hoe cake!!! Oh well, at least it's worth stealing. I might have a little chat with the guy.
SolarGamer: Thank you DEEZER for telling us about these plagiarizing, hermamphraditing, male prostituting, son's of a bitch who suck dick for crack. I am sure DEEZER, that Hairball will take care of it. By the way DEEZER, you needn't worry about anyone telling them that it was you, DEEZER web-master of TMK, that ratted them out. Your secret is safe with us, DEEZER.
Tiger: Sure HB, help em out.
TW: [null]

Poop on a stick wrote:

What does Bill Clinton play more, his saxophone or Monica Lewinsky?

BeckerManEX: I think the way things were he could do both at once, atleast they would both be blowing...whoops!
Hairball: The second choice seems more appropriate.
Namek: Monica PLAYS Bill
SolarGamer: How DAAAAARE you talk that way about the former President. Show some respect jack-ass. Bill Clinton LOVED Monica with all his heart. Their relationship wasn't based on sex, but was one based on soul-mates. Now because of our whoring society. their innocent love can never be. DAMN YOU!.....DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! HELL I SAY! I DAMN YOU! YOU ARE ALL DAMNED! DAMN THIS WORLD! DAMN SOCIETY! HELL IS WHERE THEY BELONG! DAMN THEM! DAMN IT! WHY OH WHY DID THIS HAVE HAPPEN! DAMN THE WORLD! DAMN KENETTH STARR! DAMN THE REPUBLICANS! DAMN OLD PEOPLE DAME BABIES! DAMN PUPPIES! DAMN ANTS! DAMN I SAY! DAMN YOU ALL .......... to hell :)
Tiger: He does both at the same time!
TW: Don't we all love 6 year old Jokes?

JRBoy wrote:

I'm sorry but i do not believe in your story saying that Luigi can be a character in Mario64. I have tried 3 times exactly what you have said to do and it didn't work. Maybe i'm doing something wrong or your story and photos are fake. If there's something else specific that i was doing wrong, please tell me. I really would like to get Luigi, so i do hope that it's real.

BeckerManEX: Fake, Wrong, Dumb Joke, APRIL FOOLS! Jezz people, you living on the freaking moon?
Hairball: It's kind of sad that 6 years after Super Mario 64 came out, people still think about this.
Namek: I cant believe we get this question in EVERY emailbag. You people have mental problems.
SolarGamer: That is because you have to DELETE all your game files once you get up to the last level of SM64. Just do that 5 times and follow what we said and Luigi will be in the game! Trust me. It is SolarGamer talking here.
Tiger: Of course not, that was an April Fool's Joke.
TW: That was April fools 2000. But I will tell you the code to get Luigi in Luigi's Mansion. Press START on the title screen

The Rock wrote:

This site sucks sucks and Solar Gamer sucks.

BeckerManEX: I do believe Solar Blows, but okay. (J/K Solar).
Hairball: It's a chain effect...
Namek: He sucks on me though, so we will let him slide
SolarGamer: No. I don't suck. The thing that I do is 'eat out'. Ok...so... maybe one time I sucked my frie... well... You see.... I
Tiger: Solar! How dare you take that insult!
TW: How can it sucks sucks?

Matts Koopas wrote:

Questions for you : 1. Which is better, Resident Evil 0 or Super Mario Sunshine? 2. The Sonic cartoons suck and they're made by DIC, the same people who made the Mario cartoons, WTF is their problem? 3. You'z are stupid. 4. You'z gote thats you'z F--kors ands lozerz. 5. Whens ins helle wills Suppa Maroi Brs. 3 comi outz for Games Foly Canvanceds. 6. F--K youz Billy Bod Gates

BeckerManEX: 1. Tie; 2. Not everything can be good; 3. Thanks; 4. Thanks again; 5. Thanks, stupid; 6. Yippie!
Hairball: 1. They both suck; 2. Their problem is you; 3. Yes; 4. Yes; 5. WTF are you trying to say? 6. Ummm... right.
Namek: I dont think I read your question. It seemed boring.
SolarGamer: Matts Koopa... I will pray every day and night that someday in your life you will be able to at least once touch a woman's boobie. (SolarGamer shakes his head in pity)
Tiger: 1. Hrm..RE0 is awesome, but SMS looks so cool too. I have no idea. 2. I have no idea. 3. Yup, there are many "you'z" stupid. 4. blah. 5. blah blah? 6. I'll respond with another blah since I didn't know how to answer 4-6.
TW: 1. RE0 Looks more exciting. 2. True 3. No 4. F--kors off 5. Nver 6. Go fuck bill gates

... wrote:

This site is still running?!?!OMG! OMG!!

BeckerManEX: I wouldn't say running, more like gimping along with a knawed off leg.
Hairball: Just like how it is in the chat room: OMG!
Namek: No!!! We is being the sites ghost.
SolarGamer: Actually this is a NEW site. A couple of months ago SM128C stopped covering Mario and started focusing its attention on Bird Porn. Have you ever seen birds have sex? It is quite disturbing in a Beckerman kind of way.
Tiger: This site isn't running, but walking..
TW: No shit, Sherlock

The pine tree in the back yard snuck into the house and wrote:

Hey, i was wondering, what was up with that '' Hairball has cancer thing?'' You guys shouldn't of said that if it wasn't true, i'm sure that people will buy stuff from the store soon. There's no need to tell lies just to make people buy stuff from the store. * plese don't pretend you don't know what i'm talking about, because I KNOW other people saw it too. to the people who REALLY DON'T know what i'm talking about because you wern't here when it happened: Sorry you had to read this and waste your time. PS. - this site is great and should have some contestd too!

BeckerManEX: [null] I'm not getting involved, but no one listens to me.
Hairball: What the hell? I don't know what you are talking about? Cancer? You must be kidding me.
Namek: You WIN A punCH IN THE FACE!!! STOP JINXING HB WITH YOUR CANCER TALK.
SolarGamer: Hey BITCH! Having cancer is NOTHING to joke about. My mother and father and brother all DIED of cancer...and I DO take offense to that. NO ONE from the site EVER said Hairball had cancer. This is a touchy subject for me and I will not play around when it comes to this.
Tiger: What? What are you talking about?!
TW: How can balls of Hair get cancer?

RIP Hairball wrote:

Hey all, great site an everythin. I heard about Hairball's sickness and I just wanted to say that he was a great webmaster...but who will be the new one?

BeckerManEX: << is not getting involved with this
Hairball: Damn it, I'm perfectly fine, you're the one who has mental sickness.
Namek: Who is hairball? He can goto hell for all I care.
SolarGamer: You are a FUCKING SICK PERSON. Hairball doesn't have cancer and it is WRONG for joking around like that. I hope you go to hell where you belong! Millions of people die of cancer every year and you are hoping that Harry has cancer? And even if Hairball did have cancer, the only thing you would be concerned about is who would take his place as web-master? You truly do belong amongst the demons in hell. What is with all you people?
Tiger: Man, what is up with this frequenent cancer business HB?
TW: "HE'S NOT DEAD! THOSE BASTARDS!"