E-Mailbag for March 10, 2002

FatalVegeta wrote:

First I would like to say that your site is GREAT!!!!! I wish SolarGamer would return from him grave, but the site is great. I hate how so many pre-schoolers write in and say that the site suck or how something is bad, or how you all are gay (except hairball j/k)!

BeckerMan2K1: Solar is alive, or so I have been told, and I have also been told that Hairball is gay.
Hairball: So I am NOT gay and everyone else is? Excellent.
Namek: Wut, you are completely wrong. Solar is back, this site sukz, and we are all gay. Maybe you should take some lessons from preschoolers
SolarGamer: Well FatalVegeta...it seems the bitch is back and he is here to stay. Let me just say one thing. If you thought I was an a-hole before...Ohhhh you ain't seen nothing yet. SUKAS! Boo Yeah.
Tiger: SolarGamer actually crept outta his grave. And yes, we all know about HB's secrets.. ;)
BigHornSheep: Thanks, there's a guy that knows what he is talking about.

Crazy Sam wrote:

I hate it how so many people complain about the fact that the Gamecube won't have a DVD function. Don't people realise that, apart from PS2 having Sony, and Xbox having Microsoft for any desired add-ons, that they are all GAMING CONSOLES, not mini-entertainment systems. I really would much rather have a GCN and DVD separate, rather than together.

BeckerMan2K1: I agree, and it also helps the arguement that I have two DVD players already.
Hairball: It would've been nice had the GCN included a DVD player, but it doesn't have the sleek style most DVD players have, so it'll be better if they are separate, and perhaps better features.
Namek: uhhhh... the GCN has a dvd function. They made a new GCN that plays DVDs, but i think they are only releasing it in japan.
SolarGamer: You so crazy. You know who I hate? Dorks who complain about stuff that is SOOO last year. Don't get your panties in a wad. If you like having your DVD Player seperate from your game system...Who gives a flying F**k. It is people like you that fuel all these damn idiotic debates. A Pox! A POX I SAY!.....Other thatn that I agree with you. :)
Tiger: Well actually a GameCube is an entertainment system, but I dont think the DVD player is necessary. It would hike up the cost, and most people already have a PS2 or a DVD player anyway.
BigHornSheep: GCN is a video gaming system, not a DVD player. I repeat, it is NOT a DVD player.

FroggerPro wrote:

Id just like to tell you guys that there is a Mario Kart coming to GCN and the reason I put that N where it is because its the correct way to put it. Mario Kart is TBA. I got this out of Nintnedo Power.

BeckerMan2K1: You are correct on both accounts. Mario Kart is coming to the GameCube and yes, Nintendo's official line is GCN and GAMECUBE (yes, all uppercase).
Hairball: Yes, there will be a Mario Kart game coming out.
Namek: We arent stoopid, we know more than you. That's why we have a site and you don't. hehe.
SolarGamer: Wow. We are dealing with a genius here! He wants to inform us that he learned from Nintendo Power that there is going to be a new Mario Kart game for the NGC (NGC, YOU HEARD ME BIATCH). Look buddy, I appreciate the lame attempt to try tell us this "important" tip. But to be frank, was there ever any question that there was going to be a new Mario Kart game for their new prized home console. Leave the reporting to the experts, or at least give us some good porn while you are at it. Sheesh!
Tiger: I think we know that..do we..
BigHornSheep: The staffers at SM128C realize that GCN is the correct way of putting it.

Ashley wrote:

In luigis mansion. How do you defeat bowser? Fire and wind come out his mouth. He also throws spike balls. I tried grabbing him by the tail and tryed to vacume the spike balls without much success.

BeckerMan2K1: Still haven't played through this game completely yet, but I have the save on my Memory Card.
Hairball: I dunno, haven't played the game far enough.
Namek: Never played the mofo.
SolarGamer: You freakin pervet. You make me SICK! To empshasize my point I need merely quote you. "Come out of his mouth"..."Throws spike balls"..."I tried grabbing him by the tail and tryed to vacume the spike balls"...I am literally gaging. Listen to all those nasty, filthy perverts out there. This is a MARIO web-site! Not seem cheap amatuer porn company. You make me so sick.
Tiger: I'll leave this to someone else to answer.
BigHornSheep: I have not played that game, but I would assume that he probably has a weakspot somewhere (usually hand or leg), try to experiment by attacking one specific spot and look for any weakness he may have.

Kathy wrote:

how do you do the super wall jump in Super Mario 64? I can't get to the cannon guy in rainbow ride to get my very last star (after many years!). Thanks.

BeckerMan2K1: When you hit a wall, Jump, get near another, Jump again. It isn't too difficult
Hairball: Jump towards a wall, and when you are touching the wall, jump again, it takes a little practice to do it.
Namek: Well, i havent played that game in like 6 years so i dont remember too much about it.
SolarGamer: LOL! A question about Super Mario 64? If you haven't figured it out by now we are Super Mario 128 Central, Not Super Mario 64 Central. Listen people unless your questions deal with the new Mario on the GameCube, we do not and I repeat do NOT want to hear your stupid questions. The way you guys talk, you'd think this was an e-mail bag where we would try to be helpfull and actually answer your questions. What do you think this is, Loveline?
Tiger: How do you do the super wall jump anyway?
BigHornSheep: I really have no idea.

Melissa Mario Sister wrote:

My stepbro thinks he knows everything. He says that no thanks to the GameCube's competition, Nintendo will be out of business in less than a year. You think you people can dish out some reasons that will disprove this, so I can shove them in my stepbro's face? And please be serious. Thanks.

BeckerMan2K1: Nintendo has deep pockets and loyal fans, besides the company could survive on the sales of the GameBoy Advance if it needed too.
Hairball: Perhaps the GameCube isn't making Nintendo enough money than it wants, but the Game Boy Advance should make up for it, but if all else fails, Nintendo can very well pull a Sega, I can't see Nintendo going bankrupt in the near future.
Namek: Well, ummmm... I doubt Nintendo will be out of business, but they will probably be in the same spot they were in with the N64. They'll probably make some very good classic games worth getting a GCN for, but wont make too many top quality games and the PS2 will still be on top like the PS was to the N64.
SolarGamer: Okay...I am being serious. You should tell your step-bro that if he doesn't shut his mouth about Nintedo going bankrupt, you'll tell your parents that he has been spying on you naked, stealing your underpants, and looking at naked pictures of men. I am glad I could be of service.
Tiger: Nintendo won't be out of business for a long time, remember this.
BigHornSheep: Nintendo is one of the oldest entertainment companies around, no one can just put them out of business unless Mario has some bad news against him. But Mario isn't like Mr. Bill, he doesn't just go off screwing some ugly lady.

Diet Coke wrote:

What is your problem? I think the problem is your local priest molested you. God damn you little sick kid shut your mouth! gamecube sux

BeckerMan2K1: No You and your Diet Coke sucks.
Hairball: Diet Coke is the problem, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT drink it, go for the real Coke.
Namek: Why not caffeine free diet coke or diet cherry coke.
SolarGamer: Uhhhh, excuse me jack ass, but my priest did NOT moleste me. It was my reverend. Hello? I swear these people...
Tiger: Yeah, that's what happened to HB.. (jk~!)
BigHornSheep: Diet coke sucks, regular coke all da way!

HotSoup wrote:

I read your Jan.1 mailbag. Not as funny as it used to be. But i guess that's a fluctuating factor for you guys. Anyway, to get to my point - BHS, you have no idea of what you are talking about. I read most of the e-mails, and you responses have little or bad relevance to the question. Take for example the guy who wrote in about one of you staffers sucking pokemon ass. BHS then proved in his own way that "pokemon have no ass." Well, to be logical, it really doesn't matter where your legs are connected: As long as u have skin, u have Ass! Moral of the story: tell BHS to proof-read. P.S.: Where did Peach go to?

BeckerMan2K1: The message has been sent.
Hairball: Hahaha... I cannot agree with you further, HotSoup, but by the time this mail is posted, you'll be cooled down substantially.
Namek: BHS is stupid, and HB doesn't have a magic pogo stick. BHS begs HB to let him do this mailbag. Sometimes he evens offers HB sexual favors.
SolarGamer: Ouch! My feelwings are hurt. I is not funny anymore? Ohh well. If I am not funny anymore, I still know that at least I am incrediblely good lay, or so I've been told. And after all kiddies, that's all that should matter.
Tiger: Peach went..somewhere, I'm sure.
BigHornSheep: I am forced by HB and his magic pogo stick to do this mailbag, I spend maybe 2 minutes on it if even. So don't expect any good response from me please. Having skin does not mean that you have an ass. And anyway, that was just a joke if you didn't get it or didn't find it funny thats really too bad for you.

Genki desu Ka??? wrote:

Are they going to make a Mario Party 4 or not. I heard something about it, but wasn't for sure. Your site is coollllll

BeckerMan2K1: It can almost be a given.
Hairball: There should be, it was announced I think.
Namek: OMG, a MP4 would be so lame. IT's just the same game over and over again.
SolarGamer: Mario Party 4 came out last year dumb nut. Marty Party 5 is coming out July 2002. Duh! It has only been on release lists for months.
Tiger: Our site is "cool," I do not know of a word "coolllllll."
BigHornSheep: ??? Thank you.

Moe wrote:

This site is gay. Hairball thinks the GameCube is gay and he still makes a Nintendo site. Your editorials are gay. Your message board is full of morons because this gay site attracts gay morons. You update your gay site once a year. Your gay chatroom is always empty. There are lots of smart e-mails but you gays always choose the dumbest ones, like this one.

BeckerMan2K1: I think you have a homophobia complex.
Hairball: It seems like you like to use the word "gay" an awful lot.
Namek: We are a very gay (happy) groud of people. Thanks for the gay (happy) comments.
SolarGamer: I agree with you on all accounts. This site IS gay. Our editorials ARE gay. This web-site does attract gay morons. And you should feel right at home. (Which is gayer. The gay web-site? Or the person who comes to the gay website with his own free will? I rest my case.)
Tiger: Aren't you just jealous?
BigHornSheep: Well, that' really too bad isn't it?

Annie wrote:

I live in Québec, I want to buy the book player guide super mario 64,where can I buy it? Thank you.

BeckerMan2K1: Your local used Book Store, I think it is out of print these days, or directly from Nintendo's Store.
Hairball: You can easily find it at any Wal-Mart or Toys "R" Us, they should have it, or you can check out the Indigo/Chapters/Coles bookstore monopoly as well.
Namek: http://www.fu-fme.com/
SolarGamer: Yes! As a matter of fact you can buy one from me. I am certified in retail sales and would be happy to help out. Just send me your address and the money and I will be more than happy to send you the players guide. Stupid Frech. Mwahahahahaha!
Tiger: Try Nintendo's online store.
BigHornSheep: http://www.amazon.com or http://www.chapters.ca

OIH YW wrote:

umm, yeah.. WHY THE FUCKITY FUCK AREN'T YOU FUCKING UPDATING YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING LAZY ASS BASTARDS!! YOU HAVE FANS YOU kNow

BeckerMan2K1: We have fans? If you are OUR fan you need to get a life, we are no one to idolize.
Hairball: HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT?
Namek: Duh stoopid ass. cause there is nothing to update. Have you seen alot of new mario games kuming out?!?! oh yeah, i guess there are quiet a few, but it gets old and boring. why dont you do a better job if you just want to komplain.
SolarGamer: Jo Mama! Maybe we aren't updating because we purposely love upsetting dickheads like yourself. Go have your daddy spank you or something.
Tiger: Ergh..excessive amounts of useless explectives..
BigHornSheep: We do update, just not as much as we use to. We have school work you know?

Matt wrote:

Where is the red switch palace in Super Mario advance 2? I have searched every where but I can't find it. Please E-mail the answer back to me.

BeckerMan2K1: Haven't played it, sorry.
Hairball: There's a secret in Vanilla Dome 2 somewhere, I don't feel like describing.
Namek: Why not try gamefaqs.com
SolarGamer: You can only get that AFTER you get up to the second to the last level in the entire game and then erase your data. When you start a new game all your levels will reappear WITH the red block switch available at the first level you enter. Side Note: I remeber when I was young and playing a video games meant ACTUALLY playing them.
Tiger: Ask HB, he told me where all the switch palaces were.
BigHornSheep: I do not know.

Brooklyn Beckham wrote:

This site is pretty cool. Is HB ACTUALLY intelligent?

BeckerMan2K1: No.
Hairball: Duhh... uhhh... eee...
Namek: actually, there is no HB. It's just a computer programmed to browse gay porn sites.
SolarGamer: Damn straight this site is cool. But Hairball is actually a friggen idiot. I am the brains beotch.
Tiger: Nope, HB isn't.
BigHornSheep: HB is a really smart guy who plays dumb all the time for no reason.

Oops! I crapped in my panties wrote:

Did you know that in SSBM, when Peach does the Forward A attack, and you pause, you can zoom UP HER DRESS?! Hehehe...

BeckerMan2K1: If you get off looking at digital women and their panties, you need help.
Hairball: Take your peeping tom skills elsewhere, such as the girls public washroom at your local high school.
Namek: Oh gawd, wut can you see?!
SolarGamer: Ooooookay. I am going to tell you something that might change your life forever....Go watch some porn or get a girlfriend. Your creepin me out dude.
Tiger: Ugh, men. ::shakes head::
BigHornSheep: You sick hentai prick. Go to your mother and do that kind of stuff.

RedDraco wrote:

Do you know whats wrong? Whenever I go to Planet Gamcube.com to look fo more info on games, my computer freezes! Does it happon to you guys to? Do I need a program or something to look at the site! I just want to read about things, you guys just put on a brife thing and more is on Planet Gamcube and I want to read it.

BeckerMan2K1: If you computer says "Intel Inside" on the box that is your problem, get a damn AMD!
Hairball: You must be on the wrong planet.
Namek: Well, the best way to fix up your computer is to goto http://catchup.cnet.com/ and download that and upgrade all your stuffs on your comp. That should get it working more efficiently. I got my 56k modem that used to download at like 3 - 5k/s to download aroun 10 – 20k/s a second now.
SolarGamer: Sounds to me like you have a VIRUS! Yes, you heard me, a VIRUS! Planet Gamecube has been notorious for giving people countless viruses. I am sorry, but you are going to have to get it repaired OR get another computer....WOW!
Tiger: Maybe because you spelled "gamecube" wrong?
BigHornSheep: That does not happen to me at all, you must have some VIRUS.

Jes wrote:

There are three new Mario Sunshine pics 2 at PlanetGamecube and 1 at Cloudchaser Nintendo. Just thought I'd let you know in case you care

BeckerMan2K1: Thanks for the info.
Hairball: In fact, we have posted the same screenshots!
Namek: I kare about you alot baby. dont worry, i wont ever do anything to hurt you.
SolarGamer: Ohhh, Hairball, you should give him a dollar. He honestly does think we might actually care. This is the most sincere post we have ever gotten. My heart...It's feeling all warm inside. Does this mean SolarGamer is handing over a new leaf? Don't count on it poindexter. I mean, thanks for the info.
Tiger: Thanks.
BigHornSheep: Thank you for the info.

Chris wrote:

I am a final year student studying computer science at the University of Wales, Swansea. I am currently writing a dissertation about the history of videogames, and I am looking for an image or two of an entire level (ie, a number of screen shots pasted together to form the whole level) from Super Mario World (SNES). It doesn't really matter which level, its just to illustrate the size and scope of the levels, to show how advanced the game was for its time. Similarly, I'm looking for an complete overhead map (again, comprised of in game screen shots) from Zelda (SNES) to give an impression of the level of detail in the game. I have reasonably large sections of these pictures, from a book called 're:play' by Liz Faber, but I'm really looking for the whole level images. I figured that you would be more likely to know where I could find such images than I would. So if you you do know, I would greatly appreciate your help in finding them.

BeckerMan2K1: In a back issue of Nintendo Power they have Zelda from and overhead perspective, and in the original packaging, it came with a map, albeit, not very detailed. As for Mario, look for an old strategy guide, or article in Nintendo Power, they used to map out the side scrollers for you to see the entire level with their strategies.
Hairball: It's not that hard, just get an emu, and play the game, with some sprite layers disabled, and then all you'll see is the background.
Namek: blah, i already sent you an email
SolarGamer:
Tiger: Take all our pictures, I'm sure HB won't mind that much. :)
BigHornSheep: I dont have any.

Insane Mario wrote:

First Welcom back SolarGamer! Second BRING & KEEP THE FANFIC SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some stories were GREAT. Others that some of us liked JUST came back.

BeckerMan2K1: The people have spoken.
Hairball: And a whole lot of them were not.
Namek: i disagree totally. mokeys SHOULD be allowed to design womens
SolarGamer: Listen Chris, I am going to be honest with you. I only read half your question, as frankly it was quite boring. However if you pay me money I will do anything you ask me to do. A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G ;)
Tiger: I had no clue what that meant.
BigHornSheep: The FanFic section was using too much bandwidth I believe.

Ann wrote:

Is it just me, or, does Mario Sunshine look a little.....HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!! Damn, they whole game looks like a gay ice capade. All the immature, bubble ass Mario. All the damn cutsie woosie looking Mario. And a plotthat sounds like I would enjoy rather be eating feces. I thought the big deal was to make Mario more mature. He is just more fucking immature. Nintendo is losing customers and this is the reason! Why the hell can't Nintendo make a damn game that is actually a little more mature. In the end though, I am such a big Mario fan, I will probably buy it in the end. But why can't Nintendo do what they said? they were going the right way with the Luigi's Mansion look. but Mario Sunshine looks like shit.

BeckerMan2K1: The last screwball has spoken.
Hairball: Haha, if Mario Sunshine was all bloody, and Mario has guns, you would probably be complaining about how overly mature it was. But Mario is Mario, and his games have always been like this.
Namek: I agree. Why does he have to have a water gun, why cant he have a pistol?
SolarGamer: I will my smart ass comments to myself for this question. I AGREE. Nintendo does seem to have made a little white lie. When they stated that Mario would become "more mature", the things that have been shown so far, seem to emphasize that Mario has become even MORE immature. Mario DOES look more childesh. The plot is EXCEPTIONALLY CHEESEY (if what has been reported is actually the plot). The graphics are look like something out of a Mickey Mouse cartoon. And Luigi looks no where to be found, another promise I might add that came from Miyamoto. Will we ever get another TRUE action/adventure Mario game with moderate childishness, and more universal fun? NO. Not if Nintendo keeps making promises they never intend to keep. However I will never turn my back on Mario, even if he does becomes the spokesperson for the Gay Pride Parade.
Tiger: Mario is always his same self, no gun-toting maniless here.
BigHornSheep: Mario Sunshine looks fine, just wait till it comes out and then comment on how good or not it is.