E-Mailbag for April 14, 2001

GameMaster"N" wrote:

In Paper Mario, you can EASILY kill Dry Bones in one move! Use Kooper's Fire Shell to do 16 damage, or Bombette's Bomb, P. Bomb, or M. Bomb to do 17 damage!

BeckerManEX: Thanks for the info.
Hairball: Power to the people...errrr...or bombs and Koopas, yeah.
TWgamer: I don't have paper mario
Tiger: Yeah, thanks.
Velvet Dark 007: ...... Point being?
Peachy: Yeah, ok, and WHY did we need to know that?

Luigi128 wrote:

HB, look up!!!!!(I think he will look because monkeys always look.)

BeckerManEX: Yes, yes they do.
Hairball: What's up to look at?
TWgamer: I dont give a crap
Tiger: Yeha, He looked.
Velvet Dark 007: Eh?
Peachy: Harry! NO! BADDDDD monkey. BADDDDD...

cjrs3509 wrote:

Now I don't mean to be a pain in the ass (too late hehe..), but why won't the Chat work?

BeckerManEX: I'm not exactly sure, as I believe chatting to be eeeeeeevilllllll (not really).
Hairball: Because it is too good for you.
TWgamer: It does
Tiger: Javascript problems?
Velvet Dark 007: You need the mIRC plug in, I think. I'm not a techie!
Peachy: That's your prob, not ours. The chat works fine.

Impact 009 wrote:

Ha! No thanks to your no good sorry lame asses! Here's what you do to beat X-ATM092 in Super Mario 128. 1. Run in the middle of the path, the edges with get you stuck. 2. When going downhill, walk slowly. The tremor of it's feet won't trip you. 3. When he jumps over your head, run back. He'll jump over your head again. Quickly, run the other way around. From then on keep running until youget lose enough to the level's entrance. Luigi will destroy X-ATM092 with his ray gun. You people never heardo the Japanese version, have you?

BeckerManEX: I actually took a break from playing Luigi's Mansion Beta 1.2 to take a look at this Super Mario 128 that you speak of, and I was really impressed.
Hairball: Thanks for that useful Super Mario 128 tip, now I can finally beat the game on the Gamecube I stole last year.
TWgamer: It was a joke, damn you.
Tiger: Considering it's all a figment of your imagination...
Velvet Dark 007: THAT'S FINAL FANTASY 8 YOU IDIOT! *mumbles* idiots...
Peachy: Ok, well, WE live in America/Canada, NOT Japan. DUH.

The_um wrote:

I think Super Mario 128 Central is the best Mario site ever. My complements to all of you working at sm128c.com.

BeckerManEX: Thank You.
Hairball: * does the Nazi salute *
TWgamer: Thank you very much. One good email for a change
Tiger: Thank you. HB takes pride in his work..well copying other people's work.
Velvet Dark 007: I'm just a writer okay?
Peachy: Thank you.

Denice Wakefield wrote:

what is the receipe for Princess Peach, to make a cake for galloping gourmet?

BeckerManEX: WTF?
Hairball: From what I believe, just follow whatever the hell that damned little star Twink says.
TWgamer: Get into SM64 and ask her then .... (shakes head)
Tiger: Check out the Mario Cookbook published by Nintendo. It includes classics like Goomba-licious Chocolate Cookies!
Velvet Dark 007: Folow the instuctions Twink gives you.
Peachy: HeeHee I just beat that like 15 minutes ago. Twink will tell ya.

Josee wrote:

I need help with Super Mario World. I can't get passed chocolate Island 3 (between level 5 & 6). Once I complete chocolate Island 3 it sends me back in a circle instead of advancing Mario to another level. Please let me know if you have the secret.

BeckerManEX: To tell you the truth I have never played Super Mario World more than renting it at Blockbuster when I had my SNES, sorry.
Hairball: You have to find the secret exit in that level, I think you have to get past a certain point with more than 250 ticks left on the timer.
TWgamer: Don't have Super Mario World
Tiger: There is no secret, only hidden answers.
Velvet Dark 007: I don't have that game, sorry.
Peachy: Nope sorry look in the game help section.

Your big fan wrote:

That fake Super Mario 64 2 ROM thing was great! It would have fooled more people if "April 1st" wasn't in bold every time. But, could you please tell us how you pulled off thsi incredible feat?

BeckerManEX: Alas, It was not my doing.
Hairball: Maybe TW wanted to emphasize that date, so people don't get too carried away.
TWgamer: They were pictures from obscure places in Super Mario 64, edited using Paint Shop pro to make them appear different to in the actual game. The title screen was the SM64 one with some writing on it.
Tiger: Well, that is of TWgamer's work.
Velvet Dark 007: Go away, I'm playing 'The Bouncer' right now.
Peachy: Ask Harry and whoever else did it, but yeah, it was perty awesome.

Aza Quinn "the boner" Brauner wrote:

Hey Where s the goat porn guy. I typed in goat porn on the search thing and All i got was this website. I tryed to masturbate to no avail. I wanna see more goat fuckin and less mario talkin.

BeckerManEX: Who knows what Harry put in our META tags.
Hairball: Do you mean Kheang from GamingSolution.com?
TWgamer: Don't ask me.
Tiger: Er, I am not interested.
Velvet Dark 007: You are a sick person.
Peachy: Put the CRACK AWAY.

Jordan wrote:

Thank you for reading my past letter, even though the answers weren't great. One thing is that, my favorite part of this cool web site is the Mario Stories, especially 'Legend of Shroogoon'. I even wrote episode 3b for it. I will send episode 5 to you soon, so good luck in the future.

BeckerManEX: Thanks, we look forward to recieving the newest chapter in the story.
Hairball: Well isn't that great...
TWgamer: Ill let Velvet Dark handle this.
Tiger: Thanks! The Mario Stories are a good part of this site, and we encourge you future-authors to send your work in. It's great stuff and we appeciate fan goodies.
Velvet Dark 007: OKAY, THAT DOES IT. I'M GONNA TRACK YOU DOWN AND GIVE YOU A BEAT-DOWN TO REMEMBER, YA HEAR? I SWEAR, YOU NEVER GONNA FORGET IT!
Peachy: (lol)

Gaming 256 wrote:

why do you always make up stupid comments when ppl say "you suck" and other things? p.s. you guys suck

BeckerManEX: See, you weren't made up, so not all of them are.
Hairball: Why? Because sticks and stones may break my bones and words will never hurt me.
TWgamer: Whatever. I only do this site about 2 hours a week, I dont care.
Tiger: I dunno, I guess pointless comments entertain the EmailBag readers immensely.
Velvet Dark 007: You suck.
Peachy: Because it's fun, and what else would we put? Some intelligent thing? No, we all are too stupid for that.

Your big fan wrote:

Could you please tell us how you pulled off that great Super Mario 64 2 hoax? It was great, and I'm interested on how you great guys did it!

BeckerManEX: Once again, I didn't have any part in it.
Hairball: Mainly image editing, cutting and pasting, colouring in the crap, and distorting the images to a certain extent.
TWgamer: See Above.
Tiger: Ah, TWgamer and HB. The two great inventors of the pranks. Ask them, I'm sure they would be glad to tell you.
Velvet Dark 007: Go away, I'm playing Soul Reaver.
Peachy: ASK HARRY

Klutch wrote:

Do you guys know where on-line that I can get the Super Mario Bros. comics that appeared in Nintendo Power? Or for that matter any of the comcis like, Zelda and Star Fox?

BeckerManEX: I'm sure they are around. Check online auctions sites for them, or used book stores that take magazines. We have a local store here in Mesa that takes old issues of Magazines and sells them, you should be able to find some Nintendo Power that have the comics in them.
Hairball: Maybe from our damned friends at The Mushroom Kingdom.
TWgamer: Probably somewhere, but I don't know, sorry.
Tiger: Try obtaining the old copies of NP. The comics were really cool,at least the SMW ones. I like the art! But they might be hard to find, and good luck.
Velvet Dark 007: There is a link out there, I just don't have it at the moment.
Peachy: I dunno.

RK2K wrote:

just wonderin'. How do you keep such a kick @$$ site up and running like this? Also do you like my story line so far?

BeckerManEX: We have a farm of hamsters that keep the wheels turning.
Hairball: We keep this site running for power, and in one day, we will dominate the world.
TWgamer: Ask Hairball. He does most of the work.
Tiger: For the fans, for the fans.
Velvet Dark 007: Ask Hairball.
Peachy: Dammit how many of these qs are gonna be for hairball?

Trent Gobble wrote:

I am 7 years old and I can't figure out how to beat Whomp on "Chip off Whomp's Block". Could you tell me what I have to do? Thank you! (My mom typed this for me.)

BeckerManEX: He is at the top of the castle type thing. You must get up there, and then wait for him to charge you. You can't really miss him, he is a 12 foot stone slab. When he jumps in the air, move out of the way, then jump on this back, and do Mario's pound move. Perform this three times, and BAM! you get a star.
Hairball: Make him fall down and go boom. Then crush him a few times with Mario's ass.
TWgamer: Just go up the top and kill Whomp.
Tiger: Good for you. Since I dont know what game you are talking about, I can't really help.
Velvet Dark 007: Okay, Try to get infront of him, and when his does a belly-flop, run quickly around him, and do a butt-stomp. Do this 3 or 4 times to get the star. (Oh, and don't worry about the other responses you get okay?)
Peachy: Well, LITTLE BOY, even though this is a Mario site, you REALLY shouldn't be coming here. You have a crackhead mom if she lets you onto these kind of sites.

Trent Gobble wrote:

From Trent's Mom: As usual, as soon as you ask for help you figure it out yourself. (Trent defeated Womp right after I submitted his email)

BeckerManEX: I see, that makes my previous answer a waste of bits, oh well.
Hairball: The truth is out there.
TWgamer: oh really.
Tiger: Okie.
Velvet Dark 007: There goes my wonderful problem solving.
Peachy: damn. What is wrong w/ you ppl?

Matt wrote:

You may want to do a story on how Waluigi and Princess Daisy were reushed into Mario Party 3. If you look at the MP series' release dates, you'll notice MP was released Feb. 1999, MP2 was released Jan. 2000, but MP3 is being released May 2001. The delay is due to Hudson having to backtrack, probably by request of Nintendo, to fit the two characters in. The release dates and the fact that Waluigi and Daisy are nowhere to be seen in the opening sequence are the only evidence I have of my theory, and they are far from conclusive. I sent a letter to Nintendo asking them if I was right, but being a private individual, I didn't get a response. Maybe you could follow up my theory? Get back in touch with me and let me know what you think.

BeckerManEX: Interesting...uh...thoughts.
Hairball: From the screenshots, I'm pretty sure that Waluigi and Daisy are in Mario Party 3, but they maybe secret characters or something.
TWgamer: Very Interesting. Nintendo seem to churn out characters like hell this time
Tiger: Eh? This is an involved letter. I dunno what to say.
Velvet Dark 007: I think, accoriding to Expert Gamer, Daisy and Waluigi are hidden characters. I could be wrong though.
Peachy: That was a truckload 'o crap.

Pooooochy wrote:

ur a bunchofd iadiots fnad IS say thata fbecause I sqwa yoiur pathetisc site and i think it is a bunch of crap d because i like ifana afntasy site s and yours inas;t so i sugtest you make u site abtou fianjl pahntsasy because thats what I like asbndy tno some facga loomper lhow is naofpys and I thinkt aht you are a bunch oig fmoross.

BeckerManEX: i Feel that U need to suCk my dicK U. (for the retarded people, read the capital letters only)
Hairball: Square does what Nintendon't, make games for the PlayStation/PlayStation 2.
TWgamer: Shouldnt you be at school instead of replying to this sh**ty emailbag which i have to do every so often waste of time.
Tiger: answer
Velvet Dark 007: ...... Wha?
Peachy: Kid, GO TO SCHOOL, and if your lookin for a Final Fantasy site, then WHY THE F*** DIDJA COME TO A MARIO SITE?!

TheSpy wrote:

The N64 has had its time, now let the PS2 rule as the PSX did before it. Stupid nintendo didn't join forces with sony when they had the change! hahahahahha, ahhh wot mite have been.....Cya

BeckerManEX: Hahaha, if you think the PS2 will rule with that pathetic library of games, you have another thing coming buddy.
Hairball: Nintendo is quite stupid in many ways. But even if Nintendo wants to join up with Sony, they might not want Nintendo. The business world is very strange, and not all things will make sense.
TWgamer: I agree, but GC will do well too.
Tiger: That's why GameCube will come out. PS2 has crappy games, and it's too hard to get. GC looks like a feasible option. And Sony probably hates Nintendo. Like how Sega hated Nintendo, but now Sega is helping Nintendo. How ironic..
Velvet Dark 007: Go away, I'm playing Phantasy Star Online.
Peachy: I have never played platstation in my life, and from what I've seen, it sux. I'll stick to Nintendo.

Solid Snake wrote:

Your e-mailbag sux, you lot should get lifes, especially twgamer who sux the most. Get lifes dudes!

BeckerManEX: Last time I checked Tiger wasn't a dude. I have a life, but I enjoy harassing, and making fun of people like you.
Hairball: I've got plenty of "lifes" and "souls", want me to sell you one?
TWgamer: Whatever.
Tiger: What are "lifes?" Your spelling sux.
Velvet Dark 007: TWGamer doesn't suck, though your mullet sure does.
Peachy: Well, personally, I like the emailbag. And, I already have a life, unlike you.

Game Lord wrote:

My cpu crashed and i didn't see the April Fool's joke. please e-mail me it (including screenshots).

BeckerManEX: It is impossible for your CPU to crash, and No.
Hairball: Look into our update archives, it should be there.
TWgamer: Ask Hairball
Tiger: It's somewhere, I'm sure HB has it on the site somewhere.
Velvet Dark 007: I think it's archived.
Peachy: Just go back to previous updates and check it out.

Jordan Stack wrote:

To Velvet Dark 007, I am sorry about sending in some of my stories with your name on them. I didn't know I was hurting you in a way. All I wanted to do was come up with my own ideas for the story. Thank you anyway, for posting one story I sent for Legend of Shroogoon: Episode 3b. I will stop sending you stories if that's what you want. However, if you need to find someone to help out in the staff, please e-mail me.

BeckerManEX: ...
Hairball: I believe this does not concern me.
TWgamer: Ill leave this to Velvet Dark 007.
Tiger: Yes, Velvet! Hack them all!!
Velvet Dark 007: Apology NOT accepted. What you did was inexusable, and quite insulting for me anyways. Please do not do it again, or I shall be forced to hurt you.
Peachy: Yeah ok.

Homer wrote:

My name is now changed to Homo, so if anyone e-mails me about gay stuff, I'll fuck you. How you ask? I'll track you down like your mom and fuck you in public! So screw away!

BeckerManEX: Does this make you a Homer Sexual?
Hairball: The truth and nothing but the truth.
TWgamer: oh, please....
Tiger: answer
Velvet Dark 007: Ehhhhhh..... errrrrr........ You have no chance to survive make your time?
Peachy: Damn, Homer, when did you become so VIOLENT?

Gunball wrote:

hmm... can you answer more questions? Like once a week!!! I want to know about the hate mails that is sometimes people think of your site... and some like BSH's letters to get % and stuff...

BeckerManEX: To get %?
Hairball: Who the hell is this BSH you keep talking about?
TWgamer: answer
Tiger: Who's BSH?
Velvet Dark 007: ?
Peachy: There is such thing as SCHOOL. Think about it.

Gormandizer wrote:

You know how there has been Mario Golf and Mario Tennis...do you know or have an educated guess towards the next Mario sport game? I can't picture anything like "Mario Hockey 2001"....they have to fit into those individual or partner games...like golf or tennis, or racing. What's next? Mario Ping Pong??

BeckerManEX: Ping Pong and Tennis are one in the same in my opinion.
Hairball: Something like bowling, or Mario Track and Field might work.
TWgamer: I hope they stop making them as I think they're a waste of time and money.
Tiger: I dunno, but Ping Pong is an awesome sport though. Maybe...soccer? don't know.
Velvet Dark 007: Next will probably be Mario Tennis 2.
Peachy: Once again, WE ARE NOT NINTENDO! WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO W/ NINTENDO! SO SHUSH!

Neo wrote:

I think you should have a babe of the day section, like IGN. This would earn you several hits. Considering all the horny people out here. HB is gay]

BeckerManEX: True on all accounts!! :)
Hairball: That would be a good idea, but I think this site has more things to do than satisfy the sexual need of young teens.
TWgamer: oh really.
Tiger: UUuhhh...
Velvet Dark 007: No thanks. The guys at IGN are sexist, and I don't really like that.....
Peachy: Um, this is a mario site, not porn, and there are WOMEN ON HERE!

Hairball65 wrote:

You good, hairball64,real good, but as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best!

BeckerManEX: I think Hairball needs an upgrade.
Hairball: Obviously.
TWgamer: another sad, foolish freak
Tiger: Second Best! Thats what he is!
Velvet Dark 007: Eh?
Peachy: Non, you've got it ALL WRONG. I will always be bast. --Hairball66

GROSS AND BEYOND GROSS wrote:

(1)Gross is when people let their nose hairs hang out of their nose, beyond gross is people who braid them(like hb) (2)Gross is people who talk with their mouth full,beyond gross is people who temporarily remove the food from their mouth to be clearly understood(like hb) (3)Gross is people who pick a scab until it bleeds, beyond gross is people who pick someone else's scab until it bleeds(like hb) Thanx for your waste of time! It really means alot.

BeckerManEX: You wasted 15 seconds of my life that I want back.
Hairball: Now that is really gross.
TWgamer: I seriously think this section should be shut down, along with the stories which pisses me off daily.
Tiger: Ewwies. I need not have heard that.
Velvet Dark 007: Gross is when someone rips your head off and shoves it up your arse, then pulls it out your neck. Heh heh.
Peachy: Dude, that was FUNNY! And yea, it's prob. true.