E-Mailbag for January 27, 2001

Edman 2000X1 wrote:

Hey guys. Do you think there is a chance that I can join you guys in this website, especially in the E-Mailbag, 'cause I think you guys rock!!! I mean, I want to be able to joke on people who send stupid-ass E-Mails about this site, like you guys do. Please post this up Hairball, 'cause I really want to do this. If there is a way, how can I join? Thanx,

BeckerManEX: Hairball is in charge of the staff.
Hairball: We aren't really hiring any new e-mailbag responders...sorry.
Namek: Trying using the staff masturbation chamber. this has been a message from http://chrono.sm64c.com/
Fox: You have to apply at the staff page.
Tiger: Now THIS is a stupid e-mail.
FireKraken: It feels good when you give back to the community.

Michael wrote:

IS ther going to be another Super Mario 64 comming out for N64? That was the best game ever for 64 ! When is it comming out?

BeckerManEX: Paper Mario, Mario Party 3, and Dr. Mario 64 are the last Mario games for the Nintendo 64.
Hairball: No, well yes, if you consider Paper Mario another "Super Mario 64".
Namek: there will be a Paper Mario for N64, and others for GBA and GameCube. this hasn't been a message from .com/
Fox: There will probably not be a new Mario 64 game because Gamecube is coming out in about 9 months.
Tiger: Not for N64, at least. There might be a new mario game for GC, however.
FireKraken: I think that the N64 is pretty much dead. Nintendo is focusing more on the Gamecube.

Peni$ wrote:

Your site absolutely SUX!! Hairball can suck my dick! Here suck this y'all: 8=======o And go fuk yerself!!!

BeckerManEX: Excellent spelling.
Hairball: No thank you.
Namek: Grandma! I told you to quit sending us sh!t like this in the emailbags you wrinkly old bitch. from http://chrono.sm64c.com/ is your god
Fox: If it sucks so much, why are you here filling the the mailbag form. That is a very big dick. Congratulate your mom for me.
Tiger: No thanks, thats only for hairball's great mouth.
FireKraken: Ooh, please, show me your [imaginary] site so I can attempt to make fun of it too!

Joesph wrote:


BeckerManEX: I think a certain "someone" sent this in to the emailbag.
Hairball: We'll see what Solar decides to do.
Namek: What about just plain old Super Mario Art?
Tiger: Send spam to TW!
FireKraken: Yes.

Eddie wrote:

First of all I just want to say your site is the bomb! Second of all I want to ask what is the best player for the pirahanna challenge to get the pirhanna court?

BeckerManEX: I have no idea, sorry.
Hairball: All of them are equally as good, and for the piranha thing, you can choose the different courts, so it varies.
Namek: In the next emailbag tell us which site you prefer: Super Mario 64 Central, The Mushroom Kingdom, or Super Mario Bros. HQ
Fox: Thanks. Dunno.
Tiger: The best player is the best one you can cross it with. Simple enough.
FireKraken: Joe. Joe Mama.

Tinashe Mutandagayi wrote:

why don't you just put a demo for the game you are selling that people may see it before they may buy it

BeckerManEX: We are not Nintendo.
Hairball: Because we don't make the games.
Namek: You can play demos at almost any toy store in the electronics section.
Fox: huh?
Tiger: We aren't selling any games, dimbolt.
FireKraken: We aren't selling anything!!...are we?

Big Boo_MS1 wrote:

Why Bon't You Guys Have A Review for SMRPG? I'd Like To Know What Ya Think.

BeckerManEX: Then we would have to bring out our old dusty SNES' and start playing them, I'm too busy playing Tony Hawk 2 on Dreamcast, sorry.
Hairball: No one is willing to write a review on that game, so that's basically why we don't have one, and we don't really cover SNES games into much detail.
Namek: Interesting. I almost forgot about that game.
Fox: Maybe we will.
Tiger: I think we do...don't we...I think so...
FireKraken: I don't care about it. There's your review. Hmm..maybe preview.

Melissa Mario Sister wrote:

How can you possibly stand to put up with those stupid morons who keep e-mailing you people with crude, pointless God knows what?

BeckerManEX: He have a high tolerance rate, mostly because we all have to put up with Hairball and that prepares us for this stuff.
Hairball: God knows that we are a cool site.
Namek: Well, isn't the only reason you read this emailbag to find out what funny stuff we have to say to those little sh!ts?
Fox: That's what makes the emailbag so entertaining.
Tiger: We laugh at them, and poke fun at them in front of all the mario fans everywhere. It's worth the effort.
FireKraken: I don't know, but whatever gets my bread crust and day old water when the day is done!

Who Wants To Be A Mario Millionare? wrote:

Read the name... for 100: Can I fart in your face? A. Yes B. No C. Go ahead D. POOPIE! Hairball 64: B. No It was A. Yes! *Farts in their faces*

BeckerManEX: I would like to phone a friend.
Hairball: A yes/no question can only have two answers, "yes" and "no", so it's not possible to fit that kind of question into the Who Wants to be a Millionaire game.
Namek: D
Fox: Thank you Regis, no give me my million.
Tiger: No one wants to be a Mario Millionaire. But, I think you may.
FireKraken: *cough* That was gay.

Mario Master wrote:

I like Mario more than anyone! Pokemon stinks! I finished break the targets & Board the platforms in Super Smash Bros. I beat Super Mario Bros DX- The lost levels!

Hairball: Well good for you, like I care.
Namek: Pokemon does suck, but we all know HB likes Mario the most! They have private butt sessions in the bathroom.
Fox: I agree that Mario is better then pokemon. Pokemon is so childish.
Tiger: Congrats, the lost levels are quite difficult.
FireKraken: Good for you! Do you know how long ago EVERYONE ELSE has done that?

Cara wrote:

How do you know when the 20 minutes are up? We are trying to get the secret character & thought we were under but nothing happened. How can you make sure you go under the 20 minutes or when we are near the end of the 20 minutes? Thanks!!

BeckerManEX: Buy a watch.
Hairball: Uhhhh...
Namek: Who is We?
Fox: You can just go a hell of a lot faster.
Tiger: We haven't even approuched the 20 minutes yet. Stop bothering us.
FireKraken: There's a time in the upper corner..

Dave wrote:

Is Mario available as a regular computer game for the PC?

BeckerManEX: Mario Teachers Typing.
Hairball: No way.
Namek: Yep. At a site called Nintendo World (I think), they have a remake of the first Mario game but with better graphics. And if you want, you could get Mario ROMs which are just like video game cartridges, just in file format.
Fox: No, Mario is a Nintendo character and Nintendo does not make computer games. Unless you call ROMs computer games, but then again Nintendo does not make them.
Tiger: I believe you can get cheesy edutainment titles like "Where is Mario?" and "Mario Teaches Typing" on the PC.
FireKraken: Only as 'edutainment' crap.

Jr. Luigi wrote:

I put your link on my site. This is just a permit so you won't get hypermad. Reply if you don't like the idea.

BeckerManEX: The more publicity the better.
Hairball: That is quite excellent for us.
Namek: That's just fine and dandy, but how bout you put my link
Fox: There is nothing wrong with putting SM64C's link on your page.
Tiger: HB actually encourages links to his site. BUT, I encourage hotlinking sm64c so he can pay for the extra bandwidth >:)

Ana Soto wrote:

How can I purchase a Ninetendo toy (i.e., Mario doll, Wario doll, Donkey Kong, Bowser)

BeckerManEX: Nintendo's Store at www.nintendo.com
Hairball: You gotta buy 'em from Nintendo directly, they sell them to the Nintendo Power subscribers, or perhaps you can find them at an Electronics Boutique, or on Internet auction sites.
Namek: Hairballs Answer, i am TiReD!
Fox: Try Toys 'R' Us.
Tiger: Go to ebay.com or on rare occasions nintendo.com might stock them.
FireKraken: Look for a special in your local [Crappy] Toys 'R' Us store.

Dinobot743 wrote:

Hi, I was wondering since Mario and Luigi are going to be more mature on the Gamecube, will Yoshi finally return to being a cool goomba munching dinosaur? Cause a lot of people who like Yoshi (Including me) are getting sick of all this "Super Happy" stuff. I can't stand the noises he makes in SSB, and the way he swings the beam sword/bat makes him look like the biggest fruit in video game history. So, do you guys think that Nintendo will make the right decision to turn him back into the cool dinosaur he was, or keep up the Barney-clone stuff?

BeckerManEX: Nintendo seems to be aiming for a larger demographic with the Gamecube, but don't expect them to pull and Conker and have him urinate on Mario when he is sleeping or anything, that WON'T happen.
Hairball: Damn you for insulting our beloved Yoshi. Well on the other hand Barney is gay....but let's not talk about that.
Namek: Fruity... Yes, I hope he will be more manly, or in his case, dinosaurly.
Fox: Hopfully Yoshi will become less "fruitty" in future games. I hate Barney the big purple fagish dinosaur.
Tiger: Well, Yoshi is cute when he's like that. But I do hope he stomps the goombas more as well as eating koopa troopers and spitting them out..or breathing fire! Thats cool..or when he flies...Oh, I love SMW..
FireKraken: Didn't you know? He is gay. That's what his little sticky tongue is for.....

Kelly S. wrote:

I gotta question. I'm new to the site and I got into reading the Mario stories just to past the time. And some of the ones that the staff are making are really kinda interesting. How come u don't write them anymore?? Thanx for your time!! :)

BeckerManEX: Here is the reason, I asked for feedback on my story. I got none, I stopped writing it. I actually have a couple more chapters done, but I don't think I will post them unless I get some kind of email saying to do so.
Hairball: Because of undisclosed reasons.
Namek: Everyone got bored. We really need a new staff cause of people like Tiger who suck al... J/K.
Fox: We will start writing some more soon. We stopped cuz they are a bitch to write.
Tiger: We need more being submitted by people...
FireKraken: I no no.

Victor Toscano wrote:

Is there a way or code to get 120 stars instead of playing the whole game??

BeckerManEX: Cheater, no!
Hairball: Hell no.
Namek: GameShark
Fox: Yes, it's locked up in our secret vault. Just play the game foo!
Tiger: You lazzzyyy bastard.
FireKraken: It's called GameShark, and unless you suck, you don't use it.

Mario Fan wrote:

OK then you should have a contest a give: 1 N64 w/SM64 1 27" color TV And forget the nes w/SMB 1,2&3

BeckerManEX: If you can find an NES in good condition, you can give it away all you like, but if I find one I'm keeping it.
Hairball: That is beyond our budget unfortunately.
Namek: How bout a contest for a SNES with SMW?!?!
Fox: We would love to have that contest but Hairball is poor and connot fund the contest.
Tiger: Heh, if only HB wasn't stingy enough to do that.
FireKraken: We aren't a corperation!!

Lynx2k1 wrote:

I submitted a story and i was wondering if you are going to post it. You guys rock! Keep up the good work and try to update more

BeckerManEX: Soon...
Hairball: Currently, it takes anywhere from 1 month to 1 year, due to update restrictions, delays, laziness, and really, we have better things to do.
Namek: Yes, we will update ALOT when the new site is up. Do me a favor and send alot of emails to AWannabePunk@aol.com and put J.W.L.M. in the message.
Fox: Email Hairball and ask him to post it.
Tiger: If you submitted it, it's probably going to be posted. Just be patient.
FireKraken: Yes. Indeed.

Kerrie wrote:

How do you get to Course 9 (Dire, Dire Docks) we seemed to have lost it?Also, how do you get the shiny star in the Lava Land course? Your help would be appreciated.

BeckerManEX: Man it's been a long time...
Hairball: No clue.
Namek: www.gamefaqs.com
Fox: Hairball is the Mario 64 expert so ask him.
Tiger: Ha, you lost it.
FireKraken: Play the game. The rest answers itself.

ExODUS wrote:

Is there any Mario fanart? I am starting a Mario battle League using a small net-battling game similar to Mario called GianaFamily (a game for which I have Mario replacement files) and I need to create a "box cover" and some awards and stuff for the league.

BeckerManEX: We have an art section.
Hairball: There's plenty o' fan art, it's in the Downloads section of the site, and the section is called Super Mario Art.
Namek: Downloads > Super Mario Art
Fox: Yes there is some fan art. If you looked around the site enough you would find it.
Tiger: Yes there is.
FireKraken: Go to www.altavista.com, type in 'Mario Fanart' and you tell me what you find.

nintendnews.com wrote:

Hey, I am the owner of nintendnews.com and I have a couple of question for you. 1)Do you use SSI on this site? 2)Do you expect the GBA to become a big hit? I hope so. Anyway, thanx.

BeckerManEX: Yes we use SSI, and yes the GBA is going to be a huge hit,I'm actually pre-ordering mine this weekend.
Hairball: Yes, and yes. That is all.
Namek: Type
Fox: Yes we do. Yes it should be a huge hit.
Tiger: Yes, and Yes.
FireKraken: I think the GBA will be big, but I also think that Nintendo is stupid for making 8 different variations of the Game Boy...Dang greedy fascist pigs.

i woke up this morning and i fell out of bed, and then i broke both of my arms, and then i lost the remote, so then by tapping my nose against the keyboard i wrote:

your as cuddly as a cactus, your as charming as an eel. you're a bad banana with a black and slimy peel.. myr hariball! i changed my mind and now i'm coming to take away the year 2001.

BeckerManEX: WTF?
Hairball: If I'm correct, the year 2001 is still here, buddy.
Namek: Right..... Ima kick your ass.
Fox: Don't mock the Grinch. He is cool.
Tiger: Ha, HB: it's your 29th lover!
FireKraken: Where's that 'Mighty Imperial Hand of Justice' when you need it? (confused? refer to Jin)

I wrote:

Y do they sell hot dogs in packages of 8, but buns are sold 12 2 a pack?

BeckerManEX: Three packs of 8 is 24, and two packs of 12 is 24. Problem solved.
Hairball: That is a good question. If you buy 3 packages of hot dogs, and 2 packs of hot dog buns, then you have 24 of each. I guess maybe they want you to buy more, maybe some people eat hot dog buns without hot dogs? Hmmmmm...stupid economics just don't make sense.
Namek: 69 you bitch!
Fox: So you have to buy a second package of hotdogs so the company gets more money. It's a scam I tell ya!
Tiger: Thats a timely old riddle, now go think more.
FireKraken: It's a marketing gimmick. Because they too are greedy fascist pigs.

Jr. Yoshi GA wrote:

Do you think Yoshi should have another game of his own with the Mario Bros. in it?

BeckerManEX: Yes.
Hairball: I don't see why not.
Namek: such as.... Yoshi's Island Part 7?
Fox: Yes! OH GOD YES!
Tiger: Yes!
FireKraken: No.

Matt wrote:

How many games has Mario APPEARED in? I need almost all of them, including imports, non-populars, and could you name any I missed? Here's my list so far, at 38: Mario Golf Super mario bros super mario bros 2 super mario bros 3 Lost levels Dr. Mario Mario Kart Mario Kart 64 Donkey Kong DK Junior Super Mario World Yoshi's Island Super mario RPG Mario Party Mario Party 2 Mario tennis 64 Super Mario 64 Super Mario Land Super Mario Land 2 Mario land 3 mario Paint Mario tennis GBC punchout Super Punchout Super Tennis Kart fighters Picross mario DX mario & wario Mario's Time Machine Game and watch gallery Game and watch 2 Game and watch 3 Super Mario allstars Mario pinball Mario is Missing Zelda 64 Paper Mario I think that's most of it, but I'm wondering if you guys know of any I don't. I'm also aware that some of these weren't even released. I guess I'm looking for any game mario has appeared in, that the public knows about. Thanks.

BeckerManEX: I think the last count was near 150.
Hairball: You must have too much time on your hands.
Namek: More than that!
Fox: You missed Super Smash Bros.
Tiger: Oh god, dont flood it. BTW, mario appears in the gameboy camera.
FireKraken: Don't forget Pokemon. (I'm serious)

Your conscience wrote:

Dammit! Why the f*ck haven't you updated the e-mail bag?

BeckerManEX: What do you think this is?
Hairball: Well look, the E-Mailbag is updated, now stop your bitchin'.
Namek: We haven't?
Fox: We have see...UPDATED!
Tiger: Because it's filled with idiots like yaaa self.
FireKraken: Hey, I don't have a conscience...