E-Mailbag for December 9, 2000

Ryan 64 wrote:

I don't have a question but,to all the dudes that think sm64c is nintendo,"SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND KNOW YOUR ROLE!THE ARE NOT NINTENDO GOD DAMMIT!"

BeckerManEX: We should have done this earlier.
Hairball: It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.
Namek: WTF? We're not Nintendo? Damn. I was getting ready to release Super Mario Crash Course to the public. Guess i'll have to cancel the shipments to local stores throughout the US.
Fox: SM64C stands for Super Mario 64 Central and Mario IS a Nintendo character.
Tiger: Stop having fun with the capslock. You just proved nothing.
BigHornSheep: That's right.

phuzzman wrote:

so is luigi in the game or what? half of this website says he is, and half doesn't. So, is he in the game???

BeckerManEX: How does half of our website state that Luigi is in the game? He is NOT in the game for the LAST TIME, unless he is in the secret place behind that one wall...
Hairball: And actually...most of the site says Luigi isn't in the game. It is quite disturbing to find that the April Fools Joke 8 months ago is still fooling some of you guys.
Namek: No, he isn't. Those rumors ended 2 years ago. Where have you been?
Fox: For the last time, LUIGI IS NOT IN SM64!!!!!!!!!!
Tiger: NO, stupid HB just wants to keep confusing people.
BigHornSheep: NO, he is not in the game.

True Mario Fan wrote:

I just got to say that you are the worst excuses for webmasters ever!You insult everyone who asks you a question,so why bother having an E-mail bag?You give Mario a bad name!For example your Mario stories:Having Yoshi be decapitated?Princess Toadstool killed?If Shigero Miyamota saw your site he would be ashamed.I pity you all...Except Peachy. She's the only decent webmaster.The only one who answered by e-mail comment nicely!

BeckerManEX: Insulting people is the way we are you small-pricked excuse for a man. I believe I hear your mommy calling for your daily HEAD shot. Be a good little boy and please your mommy. And stay the hell away from our site.
Hairball: The E-Mailbag is one of the most entertaining sections of SM64C, and most of the time our answers are just for jokes, and don't necessarily make sense. And as for the stories, it's all in the imagination of our readers...a big "WHAT IF".
Namek: F*ck that sh*t. The only webmaster here is HB. Everyone else is just staff. Go Fark yourself you crack fiend.
Fox: We arent all webmasters, and people like the emailbag shit. Peachy isn't a webmaster, she is the site slut.
Tiger: It's just enthralling entertainment. If you don't like, go away.
BigHornSheep: People like you enjoy reading stupid questions ansered by stupid people who give stupid answers, so that's why we have an e-mail bag.

Al Gore wrote:

I like to stroke my "lock-box" every night

BeckerManEX: Where does the key go?
Hairball: That is nice to know Mr. Gore.
Namek: I stroke my Shampoo bottle. If I apply the right amount of pressure, the shampoo squirts out.
Fox: Then you'll make a great president
Tiger: Dude, stop humping safes!
BigHornSheep: If you 2 boys doesn't make up your mind and stop fighting, I'll just stay for 4 more years. - Bill Clinton.

Shin Akuma wrote:

First of all, you all are my kind of people, you all are not afraid to say what really is on your mine. I just wanted to comment that I think your site is f*cking bad-ass, finally I found a group that has appeal to me and humor me. I have some bad-ass, hard to find, and rare Super Mario images that I bought at an auction in a Japenese Auction site. If interested reply and thou will prevail. Also I like to see mug-shots of all your faces. I think it is interesting to see a picture of an author or authors of a web-site...actually I wanted to see the pictures so if you "diss" me I know how you look and, believe me, I know how to find each and everyone of you all. I will journey out, find you all, chop your heads, shrink them, and put them on my Christmas trees. Girls don't worry...I have something special plan for you...ha ha ha ha ha ha.... Sorry. Most be all the beer, licour, and weed. Thank you for your time.

BeckerManEX: Merry Christmas to you too.
Hairball: The site is not a living thing, so how can it be a bad-ass?
Namek: Haha. Well, that art would be nice for us to get our hands on. HB has a pic of himself laying around ( http://www.sm64c.com/namek/hb.gif )and I've seen Tiger's rare GB Camera pic.
Fox: You can't chop my head off, I have a metal plate in my neck.
Tiger: Why bother?
BigHornSheep: Thank you, I suppose that was a compliment.

I wrote:

I'm the real SM64C OWNER!!!

BeckerManEX: I thought you died in that lab accident, Harry your fired.
Hairball: I assume you omitted the word "not" between "I'm" and "the".
Namek: Dammit Harry. Why didn't you tell us you little sh*t.
Fox: I am. I gave HB this site.
Tiger: Hi HB.
BigHornSheep: Ok, pay Hairball 1000 bucks maybe he'll sell you this site.

Andre wrote:

How many hits do you guys get?

BeckerManEX: 12
Hairball: The SM64C Network receives approximately 1000 unique visitors per day, and over 3500 pageviews a day.
Namek: I get 20 hits to the face at least once a month.
Fox: lots
Tiger: 13, aimed right at HB's face.
BigHornSheep: Many, probably around 2000 page views per day.

The Internet wrote:

We're gonna shut down this site!!!!!!!!!!!! MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

BeckerManEX: The Internet is alive?
Hairball: Why damn you Internet.
Namek: Al Gore invented you.
Fox: Pay me 50 bucks and I'll hack it to pieces.
Tiger: Too bad it didnt.
BigHornSheep: That is so nice of you, thanks, but no thanks.

A piece of cheese wrote:

I am the real ruler of SM64C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BeckerManEX: Ruled by Cheese? I think I'm going to like this arrangment.
Hairball: So if I ate you, who would be the ruler then?
Namek: I thought I was.
Fox: No, I am.
Tiger: Ruler means nothing. It is the owner and maintainer that matters.
BigHornSheep: Why does everyone want to own Sm64c?

Rooster wrote:

Cock-a-doodle-dooooooooo!!!!!!

BeckerManEX: Yippi-ki-yeah Mother F===er
Hairball: Roosters on the Internet? Darn you guys know a lot more now than just doing the wake up call.
Namek: Poopie Doopie Poo
Fox: Kellogg's Conflakes!!
Tiger: Good morning to you too.
BigHornSheep: I love Cookies n' Cream Ice cream.

Yoshi Rocks wrote:

Dear SM64C, Do you remember the Mario Brothers cartoon show that used to come on? Could you bring back epiosodes and put them on Cartoon Network? If you can, view the one that Yoshi sees a motorcycle(that he wants)and joins a bike gang, but it's a bad gang, please show it. From, Yoshi

BeckerManEX: Sure....
Hairball: Look buddy, we have no control over what's going on, on television, so why don't you ask the Cartoon Network yourself.
Namek: N/C
Fox: I will try my hardest to bring them back.
Tiger: Those were awesome (the cartoon part), but those 2 dudes that played "mario" and "luigi" where stupid. I mean, they liked pizza. When did mario like pizza? Just because he's italian! But alas, you aren't referring to what I am talking about.
BigHornSheep: Mario had cartoon? Wow.

Me wrote:

What is a message board, and why can't I get in?

BeckerManEX: I will not dignify that with an answer.
Hairball: A message board is a place where you can post messages, and join in on discussions, that kinda stuff. In order to post you must be a member, signup is free, and it's very easy. All the info you need to provide is your e-mail address and a User name.
Namek: It is where you read boring useless info.
Fox: A message board is a place to post your messages. How should I know?
Tiger: Because you have a PEA BRAIN! HA!
BigHornSheep: Message board is a board for messages, you can't get it because you need to register first.

Jordan wrote:

I like your games and all, but there's something thats the same in almost all your games have the princess being kidnapped. How can people use her if she is always captured by Bowser. I think that you should at least have someone else get kidnapped by Bowser, like Azalea in Mario Golf. Also, i think she should be in any new games coming out, like Mario Party 3. Thanks for your attention.

BeckerManEX: Sorry you lost me after "I like..."
Hairball: Why don't you read the first question in this e-mailbag?
Namek: Maybe we could have Bowser kidnap uh.... Toad!
Fox: Peach get's kidnapped cuz bowser likes to rape her.
Tiger: Yes, new games coming out. Well, sadly Peach is the stereotype "save the girl" item.
BigHornSheep: Great, who cares who kidnapped her.

A wrote:

Disregard this message.

BeckerManEX: It shall be done.
Hairball: It looks like we didn't.
Namek: Bitch, I'll disregard whatever I want.
Fox:
Tiger: Okay.
BigHornSheep: We do as you please.

Bob wrote:

do you know of any websights or a phone number to a place that would have mario or other nintendo plush dolls or action figures for sale

BeckerManEX: Any Toy store should have them. Best Buy used to sell them here in Mesa, an I'm sure Nintendo's offical store should have them for sale, as they are in the Power Supplies Cataloge.
Hairball: You can only order those bi'otches through Nintendo, of if you're lucky you can find them at Electronics Boutique.
Namek: www.NintendoStore.com
Fox: Toy's R Us maybe
Tiger: What are "websights?" Are you looking at spider webs all day?
BigHornSheep: Try ebay.com and other auction sites.

inside of a box shaped box wrote:

Questions for you.... 1. H? 2. A? 3. I? 4. R? 5. B? 6. A? 7. L? 8. L? 9. hairball hairball hairball? 10. if hairbal fell into a forest and there was nobody around, would he make a noise? 11. Does llabriah mean something? etcetctetcetcetcetcetcetc.......

BeckerManEX: 1. No 2. Yes 3. Yes 4. No 5. No 6. Yes 7-11. Yes
Hairball: Is it ok if I burn your box with a blow torch?
Namek: 1. yes 2. no 3. maybe 4. fuck you 5. wtf B is the wrong answer 6. I think so 7. errr... 8. Definetly 9. God dammit. 10. Of course, it would sound like this "Uh uh ahhhhh wah wah eh zoooooo er debbe oh oh ohhhhhh esk esk ka Namek!" 11. Dunno
Fox: Hairball is the webmasters nickname.
Tiger: Okay...too much hairball.
BigHornSheep: Hairball means a crashed network, no, Hairball would be too scared to do anything. No, llabriah is not a word.

Kirby64 wrote:

If you hate the e-mail bag so much, why wont you just get rid of it? Damn you Hairball.

BeckerManEX: If you hate it, then why do you write into it?
Hairball: Damn you too.
Namek: Do your parents know where you are?
Fox: He doesn't hate the emailbag. The emailbag is da bomb!
Tiger: We dont hate the e-mailbag, if we hated it, we wouldnt do it anymore.
BigHornSheep: People like to read this kind of stuff.

I WANT SEX wrote:

I do want SEX, badly.

BeckerManEX: Talk to Harry.
Hairball: As do most other people...But if you got the $$$ go to a dirty whore and have some fun.
Namek: So do my parents.
Fox: Ask your mom, I'm sure she'd help out.
Tiger: Thats YOUR problem, not mine.
BigHornSheep: Try masturbation, I heard it's better than the real thing.

Da Rap Man wrote:

Hey does everyone remember me Hi my name is what my name is what chikachika Da Rap Man. for my little sister(peachy) she'll remember me I had HB's little willy take her verginity. bitches know me as a horny ass freak your mother wasn't rape I eat her pussy while she was asleep. p.s. you can suck my fucken cock if you dont like my sh*t.. p.s.s my willy is 4 times the size of HB willy

BeckerManEX: Greeeaaattt.
Hairball: Yo bitch, why don't ya put it in a rap.
Namek: Right....
Fox: Wow, that brings your willy up to 2 inches.
Tiger: Nope.
BigHornSheep: That is so nice to hear from you, thanks, but no thanks.

P.O.S. wrote:

piece of sh*t website this a piece of sh*t web site theirs nothin good on it the website looks like sh*t it gots a gay litt monkey on it

BeckerManEX: See Above.
Hairball: I couldn't have said that better myself.
Namek: Well, P.O.S., If you hate the website that's tuff.
Fox: Why do people write this sh*t?
Tiger: Too much to comprehend. Sorry.
BigHornSheep: Stupid things amaze stupid minds.

George W. Bush wrote:

You say I shouldn't be the 43rd president of the United States? You shall die, Mr. 64! Zap! Hairball DEA-EAD!!! Duh-huh!

BeckerManEX: Uh...
Hairball: No, I'm too young to die.
Namek: Al gore is Rule!
Fox: Who you gonna have sex with Bush?
Tiger: Mr. 64? Whos that? Oh well, we like Gore more anyway.
BigHornSheep: If you 2 boys just can't make up your mind and stop fighting, maybe I'll just stay for 4 more years. - Bill Clinton.

Gormandizer wrote:

How does Mario move UP tubes? I mean it's not like he has some climbing apparatus or something. The sides should be a sheer drop so...how? C'mon now...be creative!

BeckerManEX: Suction.
Hairball: Uhhh, there could be a rope inside there, you never know.
Namek: Blah
Fox: Those are warp tubes. He warps in and out.
Tiger: Well, Mario probably has a limber deft body.
BigHornSheep: That is a very good question.

Gormandizer wrote:

Why should I stick with nintendo? Why not Playstation? What makes Nintendo better?

BeckerManEX: Better games.
Hairball: Absolutely nothing. I'm waiting to get a PS2 for myself, hehe. :)
Namek: Beats me. I like PlayStation better anyways.
Fox: Nintendo is not necessarily better. It depends on what YOU like.
Tiger: They are both really good. NOthing to compete, plese.
BigHornSheep: Nintendo 64 is newer than Playstation.

Drew wrote:

U have the greatest damn e-mail bag in history even though its the least informative on the internet to date (excpet for Nintendo.com's which is pretty much non-exsistant)

BeckerManEX: Awesome.
Hairball: Thanks and no thanks.
Namek: Are you talking Smack about our Emailbag? Bitch, don't make me get krunk and steal you in the eye. J/K, thanx.
Fox: We do our best to bring high quality bullsh*t
Tiger: Heh, we take pride in our non-informational emailbag.
BigHornSheep: Thank you.

Arachnid up yo' nose wrote:

Hello, funky (hic) jive personage! I'm a (hic) fat old coot who (hic) would, like, (hic) like to ask you (hic), dude, if Mario (hic) wears pink (hic) underwear. Thank you (hic) very much! (hic) I am (hic) a drunk!

BeckerManEX: Hold your breath and swallow some water.
Hairball: Hiccups are a bitch when you got 'em.
Namek: They're Hot Pink.
Fox: Mario goes commando.
Tiger: Gah! Stop with your drunken breath!
BigHornSheep: Get off the crack.

Paul wrote:

How do you defeat the 3 baby bousers on the mini-game coster (hard)? I keep getting kille the best i've done is one dead. Help me for my sanity.

BeckerManEX: No Clue.
Hairball: Stop playing it then if it's so hard.
Namek: Did you say..... sanity?
Fox: I don't know.
Tiger: I dunno, ask the others. Inquire, inquire, inquire!
BigHornSheep: Well, try to jump on top of them.

Lesley wrote:

How do you go on the ghost hunt in Big Boo's Haunt?

BeckerManEX: Find ghosts, punch them.
Hairball: You go and find the ghosts, and DESTROY them.
Namek: Dunno
Fox: I don't know
Tiger: Just go in. Or solve a puzzle. Or jump off a cliff. Or do something else.
BigHornSheep: I don't know.

Mario Dude wrote:

You guys know SMW2; Yoshi's Island, right? Well what are toadies? People I know keep on mentioning them. I don't know what they are. I also hear they're in SMB2, or SMRPG. or something. Thanks!

BeckerManEX: No Idea.
Hairball: Actually I don't.
Namek: Silly wabbit, Trix are for kids.
Fox: No
Tiger: toadies=toadies.
BigHornSheep: I think I have heard someone talk about something like that before.

Skier64Maul wrote:

How do I make a chat room for my web site? Please E-mail me right away.

BeckerManEX: Harry.
Hairball: Just logon to the SM64C Chat Room, it points to the SM64C Chat Network, and go to an un-registered chat channel, and register it, and you got your own chat room. Then you just need to rip the Java Chat Room code from SM64C, and modify it so it meets your needs.
Namek: just copy the HTML code off of HB's site :)
Fox: Log onto irc.sm64c.com and join a channel, then register it.
Tiger: Ask HB. I'm too tired right now.
BigHornSheep: It depend on what kind of chat room you want, most people like Java chat room which connects to mIRC servers, but than you'll need a mIRC server to connect to, but you can always come on the SM64C chat network and make you chat room there.

Eddy wrote:

First is first,yoursite rocks. Now my question, what do you think is the best type other than all-around because I suck with all-around type but better with other people.

BeckerManEX: WTF are you talking about?
Hairball: What game is this for?
Namek: Heavy Weight.
Fox: What are you talking about?
Tiger: All-around is good.
BigHornSheep: Thank you.

Michelle wrote:

i have a questions reguarding a Mario games i own. Is there any secrets in Mario Kart64? that is the only guestion i have

BeckerManEX: No not really, sorry.
Hairball: No, there are no secrets, the only thing close to secrets are shortcuts.
Namek: There are alot of shortcuts. And if you press Z after you pick up an item, you can stop the item box from scrolling.
Fox: Possibly
Tiger: There are, like the ghost mario driver, but I forgot how to access it.
BigHornSheep: I think there are cheats, but no secrets.

Jemerica2000 wrote:

Can you please tell me why every time i try to save one of your images or any images for that matter off the internet, it always makes me save it as a .art or .bmp file? i would really appriciate an answer thanks a lot.

BeckerManEX: What ancient browser are you using. Internet Explorer 5.5 baby! Yeah!
Hairball: Because AOL is suck.
Namek: I have that problem sometimes. Just reload the page and try again.
Fox: You are probably an AOL user.
Tiger: You are probably out of memory or some other computer malfunction. It used to happen to me, but not anymore.
BigHornSheep: That is very weird. You should get your computer fixed.