E-Mailbag for November 25, 2000

Annonoymous wrote:

Hey for the person who wanted to join PORSH go right ahead and Steffner`s password is rsteffner1

BeckerManEX: I beginning to think this PORSH club is just away for this Steffner dude to get some attention.
Hairball: PORSH? Does it stand for "Pricks on rotating switch handles"?
Namek: Annon a my ass
SolarGamer: Yes I see. And just what should be done about Pippy Long Stocking?...Thought so.
FireKraken: LOL
Tiger: You spelled it wrong, its "anonymous." So far from being that.
TWGamer: what is PORSH?
Peachy: Yeah...ok...yeah.

No one wrote:


BeckerManEX: Correct.
Hairball: Hey it's DK, or...maybe not.
Namek: fark you
SolarGamer: I am accustomed to cherrys, if ya know what I mean. Do you know? Do you? Do you hear what I hear? Do you?
FireKraken: ACK!! It's my driver's ed teacher!
Tiger: I prefer apples/oranges, thank you.
TWGamer: indeed.
Peachy: Yeah and you need to get out more.

matt schonfeld wrote:

Hi my name is matt and my favorite is mario i have a question.Is there a code to get 120 stars on mario 64 without having to earn them.

BeckerManEX: There certainly is not, you must earn them. Anyway, they aren't that hard to get, Mario 64 can be beaten in a couple solid hours by an experienced player.
Hairball: Absolutely not, you gotta play the entire game to get all 120 stars, but it's not very hard. Cheating will take you nowhere in life, and yes, even video games.
Namek: you've gotta earn em'
SolarGamer: NO. Cheaters never prosper. Though, do to the poor use of the English language in your message, I'd say you have been cheating for a long time. Dreadfully long if I maybe so bold.
FireKraken: Lazy bum.
Tiger: Earn it yourself, you lazy bastard.
TWGamer: Yes there is. Get a Gameshark and put in the code for 120 stars.
Peachy: I dunno ask HB

King Koopa wrote:

I think I accidently just sent you half of a message. It seems as if Mario is having another party. Maybe while he`s partying, I`ll capture Peach?!? Nahh... I`ll just carsh the party and odds are I`ll lose. I wonder if Waluigi and Dasiy are ::giggle:: joining in on the party? Or maybe Nintendo is deciding to keep the same boring six characters?? Can`t be Toad. Can`t be Daisy. No Waluigi. No Boo. I wonder if Dasiy`ll be mad that Luigi didn`t invite her to the party. Maybe I should just think up a new plan.

BeckerManEX: Someone sounds like they are having a crisis.
Hairball: Just when does the great Koopa King reveals his future failing plans to destroy the Mushroom Kingdom?
Namek: you will be punished for your insolence.
SolarGamer: What the heck have you been smoking, and where can I get some? Or maybe you are not on crack...in that case you are a retard and I suggest therapy.
FireKraken: Why don't people think before they type/say stuff?
Tiger: Mario invites all. No doubt about that. He'll even invite Bowser so Mario can kick his ass for the 50th time.
TWGamer: You need a life for Christmas.
Peachy: You are full of crap.

Mark wrote:

Hello--Do you know of a place to purchase Mario games made for the PC? I live in Southern california.

BeckerManEX: You can only get Mario Teaches Typing that I know of.
Hairball: I'm sorry but there aren't really any Mario games for the PC. The only game is like some typing program called Mario Teaches Typing.
Namek: most of the games made for PC are free.
SolarGamer: As far I recall there are only two Mario PC games. "Mario Teaches Typing" and "Mario Teaches Typing 2". If you are refering to an actual Mario game, then you are an idiot because Nintendo has their own video-game system and it would be moronic to release them on the PC.
FireKraken: There aren't many. And the ones that are on the computer are all educational games.
Tiger: Try going on ebay.com, not that many stores stock Mario PC games, unless you want some educational Mario game like "Mario Teaches Typing." You can probably find that one at some Computer Software store, but best bet is to look online.
TWGamer: The only Mario games on PC were the Edutainment titles, such as Mario Teaches Typing and Mario is Missing; but these have been discontinued. You could try an emulator but they are illegal.
Peachy: I don't know if there is any, if so, search online.

Jungle Fire wrote:

yo, man, what happened to your gallerys: mario tennis 64, mario, yoshi? they just dissapearedd, man

BeckerManEX: Harry?
Hairball: The galleries are still there, maybe the site was just down when you were looking at them.
Namek: that's what you think. hehe.
SolarGamer: I do not know man, do to the constant use of slang words in you sentence. This is not Idiot Central people.
FireKraken: Poof! I guess the web-page fairy isn't doing her job...
Tiger: The Galleries are still here..what are you talking about?
TWGamer: I'm not in charge of the Downloads.
Peachy: man, that's weird, man.

Derfy The Great wrote:

I'm gonna kill HB64 and rule the SITE! *Throws bomb at HB64* You're dead!

BeckerManEX: Why would you want to rule this site when there are tons of better ones out there.
Hairball: Damn it, why does everyone want me dead?
Namek: You'll have to go through me first.
SolarGamer: My mother taught me never take somone serious with a name like "Derfy".
FireKraken: Boom...
Tiger: He's not dead...yet.
TWGamer: umm............no
Peachy: Really? I think you got that idea off ALL our minds.

Casey wrote:

Why haven't you guys updated in a long time?

BeckerManEX: Look in the dictionary next to the word "Lazy" there is a picture of Harry.
Hairball: Because I'm lazy, and I have other things to do.
Namek: cause Hairball sux a nutt.
SolarGamer: Your Mamma told me not to, biotch! Kidding...or am I?
FireKraken: Because Hairball is fat and would rather eat then update...anything.
Tiger: We have busy little lives.
TWGamer: because we do have lives to live aswell as update the site.
Peachy: We update every saturday, 'cept last saturday 'cause Harry is a lazy bum.

Gots 2 wrote:

Do you use a digital camera for your screenshots? If not what? and What happened to SolarGamer he hasn't done E-Mailbags recently? He was the voic of reason.

BeckerManEX: Use a capture card, and Solar may be the voice of reason, but sometimes you just need to be entertained by sarcasim.
Hairball: Solar's back!
Namek: Solar is a homo sapenion slast barch.
SolarGamer: I am here at last Gots 2. I appreciate being appreciated. As far as the digital camera goes, that is not my department. Because I like you, I will not insult you. :-)
FireKraken: Solar is dead. He got eclipsed.
Tiger: TV capture card, and/or stealing from other websites. (HB is good at that)
TWGamer: Hairball uses a Tv/Video Capture Card to get screenshots.
Peachy: Here he is, in the flesh. Well, maybe not the flesh exactly, since this IS the web.

Gormandizer wrote:

First of all I need to apologize for allowing Joe Canada near my computer. He is weird. Second: Site whore is Peachy (several of you have said it yourselves) Now, question: Why does Chris Charlton constantl make death threats to Harry? That is all for now

BeckerManEX: I believe he is trying to hit on Harry, or is stalking him.
Hairball: 'Cause Charlton's my bitch.
Namek: have no clue what is going on around here.
SolarGamer: You wish Peachy was your whore. Everyone knows she is SM64C's and SM64C's only.
FireKraken: Because Peachy is the site whore. And my whore for that matter.
Tiger: All Joe Canadas should be shot in a dark alley.
TWGamer: I think Chris Charlton goes to HB's school
Peachy: Oh SHUT UP BITCH. Why don't you go on and finish giving Chris head.

Bogadodak Schlameell Gokatusafat wrote:

I am the lord of darkness, and I command you to bow down your head and worship to me! Do not bow and thou shalt not live to see the light of day again! I know where you live, Hairball...The End?

BeckerManEX: Ok, things have taken a moronic turn.
Hairball: It is just the start, of a new beginning...
Namek: I know where Hairball lives too. 209 South Greer Blvd.
SolarGamer: Are you gay? The minute you told me to bow my head you lost me.
FireKraken: Hopefully...
Tiger: I am still living. Big Deal.
TWGamer: grow up.
Peachy: See what drugs can do to ppl, kids?

I would like to ask if Mario is an intolerable little son of a gun wrote:

Uh... see my name for the question...

BeckerManEX: Someone sure is clever...[sigh]
Hairball: Look at this face and see if I care :
Namek: see my name for the answer.
SolarGamer: Alf eats cats! Do you?
FireKraken: Good job.
Tiger: No, he's not. Question answered.
TWGamer: he probably is
Peachy: Ok....

The Game Master wrote:

Where did you come up with the name hairball?

BeckerManEX: That is one of those don't ask don't tell questions.
Hairball: Exert from Dictionary.com: Hairball n. 1. [Fidonet] A large batch of messages that a store-and-forward network is failing to forward when it should. Often used in the phrase "Fido coughed up a hairball today", meaning that the stuck messages have just come unstuck, producing a flood of mail where there had previously been drought. 2. An unmanageably huge mass of source code. "JWZ thought the Mozilla effort bogged down because the code was a huge hairball." 3. Any large amount of garbage coming out suddenly. "Sendmail is coughing up a hairball, so expect some slowness accessing the Internet."
Namek: he is what he eats.
SolarGamer: He has hairy balls dumb-ass.
FireKraken: It all started that one day, when he was watching his cat....
Tiger: I dunno..maybe it's something to do with Garfield. Do you own any cats HB?
TWGamer: I guess it's a play on his name, Harry Li
Peachy: Well his name is Harry, and he probably is all hairy, and is as round and bouncy as a ball, so he created the nickname "Hairball"

Rod wrote:

At the top of your page there is A scratch off and win a million dollars.......Is that real? I scratched off a ten million dollar one and a one million dollar one.. If it's real tell me!

BeckerManEX: Sure, you can pick up your money on the corner of third and broadway tomorrow night.
Hairball: Thank BURST! Media for those fun, fun, fun ads!
Namek: Yes.
SolarGamer: Another idiot...WAIT, I mean...Yes...of coarse...it is...real. YOU WON!
FireKraken: No. But you fell for it!
Tiger: Hahhahahahahaa..no.
TWGamer: We take no responsibility for the content of Ads on this site.
Peachy: Uh, we have nothing to do with the ads, they just give Harry money.

Bottles725 wrote:

O.K., somewhere in July 1998, I was playing Yoshi's Story with my cousin,and the Jelly Pipe level (the level with the rap music) had the most bogus thing I've ever seen: Three of the crumpled newspapers in the background read,"Pikachu". At that time, I had no darn clue who Pikachu was, but now I obviously know who that stupid yellow jackrabbit is. That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in video game. Why would Nintendo put that in? When Yoshi's Story was released, almost no one knew who Pikachu was (that was to good old times when no one begged for my Pokemoncards.)

BeckerManEX: Someone needs a life.
Hairball: I still regret the purchase of that game I made 2 and a half years ago.
Namek: Pokemon sux.
SolarGamer: Hey, that was pretty CLEVER of Nintendo jack-ass. I wish they would do little thing like that more often.
FireKraken: First of all, Pikachu is not a jackrabbit. It is a mouse. And second of all, I don't really care.
Tiger: Good observation. Nintendo=produced Pokemon. Does that click anything in your mind?
TWGamer: Haven't played Yoshi's Story in years, but I agree Pikachu is a little yellow sh*thead.
Peachy: Because they are all dumbass idiots.

Spraken die Deutsch? wrote:

Hello. First, I would like to say that I am stuck in a white coat with the arms sewn together. Ok, now my question: Who am I? Who are you? Why am I obsessed with killing a bumbling French inspector who is supposed to solve a crime involving a stolen diamond?

BeckerManEX: You are an idiot, I am Erich. And I don't know why you are obsessed with killing some French dude, in all truthfulness just threaten him and he will probally surrender, its what the French do.
Hairball: You are an asshole, I am me. I don't know why the hell you are obsessed with these weird questions.
Namek: Is it a leather or satin coat?
SolarGamer: She's a Small Wonder! Lovely and Bright with soft curls! She's a Small Wonder! A girl unlike other girls!
FireKraken: Yes, No and Maybe.
Tiger: Too many questions, too little time. Please ask again later.
TWGamer: Get your English right.
Peachy: OH! YEA! SOmeone finally went to a mental hospital! PROGRESS @ LAST!!!

Bob Dole wrote:

I am Bob Dole. Bob Dole hate you. Bob Dole hate everyone. You should vote for me next year because I am running for President of Fruitcakes Anonymous.

BeckerManEX: Bob Dole ladies and gentlemen...
Hairball: I'm sorry Dole, it's only Bush and Gore this election.
Namek: ......................................................
SolarGamer: She's a mircale and I'll grant you, she'll enchant you at first sight.
FireKraken: I thought elections were every four years...
Tiger: Theres no presidential election next year idiot.
TWGamer: "Celebration time.......... come on......."
Peachy: Bob Dole is a gay ass nobody.


So sorry about my question in the last E-Mailbag. I was just trying to mix in with all the other people who come here so I could intercept information from the CIA and blow up the Pentagon- Oops, you wern't supposed to hear that...

BeckerManEX: I didn't hear anything, I read it, so it isn't funny. You get an F.
Hairball: We'll just be very, very quiet...
Namek: that was the most retarted thing Hairball has ever heard.
SolarGamer: She's a Small Wonder. Brings love and laughter every where!
FireKraken: Why do you put me through this torment?!
Tiger: I'll see you on a Wanted Poster someday...yeah right...
TWGamer: This is the worst e-mailbag ever.
Peachy: I'll just call my dad, who is in charge of all the special military secrets protected...oops, you wern't supposed to know that. I'm serious.

George W. Bush wrote:

I've frequently had a very odd Mario dream lately. The dream is that Mario has gone postal and is running around naked and beating Link with a smoked halibut. Don't think me crazy. I've just been reading your E-Mailbag too much, I think.

BeckerManEX: I see, I believe your problem is some retentive passion for your mother.
Hairball: Another one of the reasons that Gore should be the next US president.
Namek: Does that mean that Mario and Link have turned gay?
SolarGamer: Go away Bush. We are a democratic site and frankly your pathetic ways scare me. I won't let you be President of this site, thank you very much!
FireKraken: Leave it to George W. Bush to see smoked halibuts in his dreams.
Tiger: Dreams can be weird. Don't ask me.
TWGamer: oh shut up dumbass
Peachy: BUSH SUX!

Spikes Hairball eater wrote:

Hi hairball, SUCK MY DICK!!!! I want you to come join my nightly orgies with Wynton Marsalis. I play trumpet, and I use it to JACKOFF!!!!!!!!! Wanna join me!!!!!!!

BeckerManEX: Harry will be sure to sign up, just give him a pen.
Hairball: Uhhhh, no.
Namek: Hairball's to busy sucking mine at the moment. wait your turn.
SolarGamer: I am sure HB would like to...but he is doing something with "Homer" tonight. :-)
FireKraken: Oh....My.....GOD!
Tiger: Yes, HB will glady join you.
TWGamer: ok then (walks away slowly)
Peachy: SURE HE WILL!!

Karen wrote:

I really want to strip in front of my boyfriend, should I do it?

BeckerManEX: No.
Hairball: I don't see why not.
Namek: hellz yeah.
SolarGamer: Be sure to give him a lap dance!
FireKraken: This question is completely about Mario. Yeah! Do it! Guys like stripping....except for Peachy.
Tiger: Uhh...go to some strip bar or something.
TWGamer: This isn't sex tips anonymous......
Peachy: Go to a teen help site. Go for it, gurl! Sike.

The N.M. Comics Team wrote:

Can you help us with Mario Party 2's Mini-Game Coaster on Hard? The Mini-Game is Fillet Relay, We can't press A button Fast enough, Thanx!

BeckerManEX: Press it faster.
Hairball: If I remember correctly, you are supposed to press A and B, not just A by itself. Just read the startup thing with the instructions to play the mini-game, 2 seconds of reading can be very useful at times.
Namek: get a controller with a turbo button on it.
SolarGamer: There is an ALL NEW Super Mario Saga this week! That is all.
FireKraken: Sorry, I hate Mario Party. And you are going to kill your controller doing that.
Tiger: Do some finger exercises. Remember, practice makes perfect.
TWGamer: Haven't played Mario Party 2.
Peachy: Never played it.

Secret guy wrote:

I like to rub my willy. It feels so good.

BeckerManEX: I'll be the Willy likes it even more.
Hairball: In other words, it's called masturbating.
Namek: me too.
SolarGamer: What if Willy doesn't think it feels so good. I know I wouldn't want someone rubbing my head.
FireKraken: Don't we all.
Tiger: MOrrree.than I wanted to hear. Thank you.
TWGamer: HB, is this mailbag the 'sex special'???
Peachy: Great.

Sha-zam! wrote:

I'd like to know the following questions: #1: I'm looking for rare pictures of Mario characters that are NOT 3d, like SMB3 pics. Where can I find some? (Don't bother to answer TMK. It doesn't have what I'm looking for) #2: I cannot seem to find the Yos'ters Isle theme from SMRPG on the 'net. I was wondering if you might know where to find a version of it. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions (if you answer them at all)

BeckerManEX: Sorry, no idea.
Hairball: I don't know, for both answers.
Namek: #1) www.world-of-nintendo.com has alot of old pics. #2) dunno
SolarGamer: Your requests are not stupid, so I will let the other guys answer.
FireKraken: Die hard freaks.
Tiger: I'm not taking any time to answer YOUR question. Ha.
TWGamer: #1 - try http://www.nintendoland.com #2 try http://www.vgmusic.com/
Peachy: N/A

Antonio wrote:

When will the next MArio game be releasing? I have seen lots of Mario this and that but when is the real adventure to be announced? I would love to see some more mario action again like sm2 and 32 you get my drift...anyway when the next action pack game? Thanks

BeckerManEX: Fall 2001 on Gamecube.
Hairball: The next Mario game is...probably Paper Mario, that sad looking SMRPG sequel...and then would be Mario Party 3, and that would end the already dead N64's life. The next "real" Mario game will be the launch game with the GAMECUBE.
Namek: the next action packed game is tomorrow night when I meet Hairball's mom for a little one-on-one.
SolarGamer: Ummm, have you ever visited this site before? If you find it, the answers will come. It is all in the web-site my friend. Don't expect other people to do your dirty work!
FireKraken: Get your drift?
Tiger: Check the Release Date page. I would like to see another platform scrolling action game too. I guess thats what GBA is for.
TWGamer: Mario Party 3 is the next mario, then Mario 128 on gamecube
Peachy: WE ARE NOT NINTENDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!