E-Mailbag for July 15, 2000

SuperMarioStar wrote:

No offense to you,but I think you have too much cussing on your site.I'mnot offended by it but too much is enough.I think you could drive a lot of people away from your site by this.Sorry about complaining,just had to say it.Great site.

BeckerManEX: Well in the words of George Carlin "F*&( the F&$%ing F&*$ers"
Hairball: Damn you.
Fox: What the hell do you mean cussing? I don't see ANY god damn cussing on this site!
SolarGamer: You think there is to much F***ing cussing? Well you a**hole, all I have to say is that you can go f*** yourself. There is no way in hell I cuss too much on this site, we are a family safe site b*tch in case you didn't know that. You are the biggest F***ity F*** that ever F***ed this F***ing earth... I mean, thank you for the suggestion :-).
TWGamer: Okay.

REDAK wrote:

WITHOUT PREJUDICE i think i know who created somari..................... sega of japan themselves................................................i think this myself because after seeing your screenshots of mario in sonic adventure i thought only 3 people could have put him in:1:sega japan.2:sega england/america.3:YOU.4:the hackers.................................................................... . ........................................................................... . ................................... If you want to meet,go to gamesdomain.com at6.00,play crypt and look for cybersexy on monday.................I also have a cartridge version of somari..........

BeckerManEX: WTF is going on?!?!
Hairball: What is somari?
Fox: WOW, lots of periods.
SolarGamer: LOL! I didn't know jack ass's could read! LOL...oops I am cussing again...shame on me.
TWGamer: That was an April Fool's Joke

Jenna wrote:

I jsut bought a second hand copy of Super Mario 64 and it came with no booklet. I was just wondering how to save the game.

BeckerManEX: Press the Start button in game, look at that pretty menu.
Hairball: You get a star, and a menu will popup when you "leave" the painting.
Fox: answer
SolarGamer: WOW! Two jack ass's in one e-mail bag! Hey idiot press start!...see, I can be nice.
TWGamer: answer

Mewrio9999 wrote:

I heard that they are selling Mario toys at Red Rooster. There are Mario, Yoshi, Toad and Donkey Kong.

BeckerManEX: What the heck is Red Rooster?
Hairball: Go check them out to see.
Fox: Cool!
SolarGamer: Yeah ok...send me $50 bucks and I will give you the figurines signed by me!
TWGamer: Really?

Chris N. wrote:

I have heard rumors that Nintendo was planning to stop making the SMB series, is this true?

BeckerManEX: Yeah, and Bruce Willis will win an Oscar for his "performance" in Disney's The Kid. Bye Bye career.
Hairball: Hairball: Hell no.
Fox: Absolutly not. The SMB series is what made Nintendo what it is today.
SolarGamer: YES! It is true! Mario is being kicked out of Nintendo. They lost the rights to Sony... who now be making the SMB games.
TWGamer: I haven't heard anything about this.

Mewrio 9000 wrote:

Your site is great! I need to ask a question. Does it cost money to own a website? And if it does, how much does it cost? I am going to put up a story some time. If I do, remember I am only 9, so the story might not be able to go on this site. Reply in mailbag

BeckerManEX: We take any fan story, no matter how mundane, tedious, lame, or boring. I am not saying your story is boring or any of those things, but send it in. And it cost no money to run a website if you know where to go. I don't get charged for my sites hosting, but Harry has to pay.
Hairball: Making a website doesn't really cost money. You can always be on a free host like Geocities, or Hypermart. But, when you have a domain, it'll cost money, depending on which place you register your domain from, I've seen prices between $15 and $35 for a year. Then, you'll need hosting, which depends on which company you join.
Fox: Thanks! Does it cost money to own a website? Well..yes and no. If you sign up with a free web hosting service like Geocities, it is free. But when you get into "www.yourname.com" this is where it get expensive. For a domain it costs $70, but then you have to pay for hosting on top of that, which is around $10 per month.
SolarGamer: My name is Barny the magic dog! I eat my carpet!
TWGamer: answer

Christine wrote:

I had a question about super mario brothers on n64. I hope you can answer it....I just got done fightinf bowser, and i got the 100 men from yoshi. Is that it? its over? why do i need 100 men at the end of the game? thanks

BeckerManEX: Some people will wait till they collect all 120 stars to fight Bowser, then they can get the extra lives from Yoshi, and if they really suck they will use more than 1.
Hairball: I'm sure you got 100 men, I'm sure.
Fox: The game is over after you beat Bowser in the Sky. After you beat hime you will get a big star, then the game is over.
SolarGamer: 100 men? Uhhhhh... There is no "100 men" in SM64...they must be in your head. I advice you to go get some help, or at least find yourself a man. Do you mean 100 lives? (3 jack ass's! This isn't funny anymore)
TWGamer: 100 men? You mean lives right? They're just there for fun.

if i told you you would no who it is wrote:

You did not put mine in the mail bag so you shall pay. Now go down one bar and die! Pokemon i search across the land look far and wide release from my hand the power thats inside venomoth poliwag nidorina golduck ivysaur grimer victreebell moltres farfetched abr jigglypuff kingler ryhorn clefable wigglytuff

BeckerManEX: I can see why we didn't post you in the mailbag.
Hairball: Look, your e-mail is here!
Fox: I think some needs to go to a mental hospital
SolarGamer: You are gay. That is all I have to say. (ooo I ryhmed! Yay for me)
TWGamer: Here's a real Pokemon Fan.

Screenshots wrote:

Is it legal to take screenshots from nintendo.com and put them on my site?

BeckerManEX: As long as you credit where they are from with a nice link, you should be ok.
Hairball: I'm really not sure, but I guess it's best to not, even though we do, hehe.
Fox: yes, but you should give credit.
SolarGamer: No! It is not illegal (MwahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA) No (hehe) it is (haha) not (hahahahhaha) illegal!
TWGamer: Ask Nintendo.com themselves, I don't know

Yo`ster B. wrote:

WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE PAPER MARIO ALREADY?!? I think it`s because it looks kind of dumb with paper people, but the original Super Mario Brothers for NES had horrible graphics, but it`s one of the greatest games. At least wait until the game is out to hate it. The only thing that looks dumb about Paper Mario is the release date. The day AFTER Christmas. AFTER?!? That release date will eventually change I hope.

BeckerManEX: Most people don't hate the game based on graphics, or the quality if graphics, its the way the game looks and who it is suppose to appeal to. I doubt if I see 20+ year olds picking it up on a whim.
Hairball: Haha, you just contradicted yourself, you said "it looks kind of dumb". In my opinion, it does look a bit stupid. SMB is one of the greatest games because of it's gameplay, and that it was a break-through similar to the way Super Mario 64 was. But, when you come back to the new style 15 years later, it's not all it's up to be.
Fox: I think people hate it because they are so used to the new 3D Mario, that they think going back to the old mario is a bunch of BS. Yes the release date is stupid. They should release it on Christmas when everyone is at home and none of the stores are open.
SolarGamer: My advice, go smoke a bong...that should relieve your major problem. By the way the NES had limited capabilities AND Mario was the first game released, OF COARSE it hade bad graphics. The N64 however is a powerful machine AND has been out for a few years. Nintendo knows the hardware and it is rather idiotic to release anything with less than superior graphics.
TWGamer: Paper Mario doesn't look too good, and I probably won't get it.

Love your site wrote:

1.Who designed your cool site and how much did it cost? 2.For the site-hosting ad banner deal, do you get the money from the banners, or do we? 3.Your site rocks!

BeckerManEX: A guy named Leigh McDonald designed the site, and I'm not sure how much Harry pays. Harry is a greedy,lazy bastard he keeps it all.
Hairball: A guy called "Smiley" (from the late Nintendo Network) created this web design for me for free. Yes, I get money from the banners.
Fox: 1. Smiley designed it, and it cost nothing because Hairball is cheap. 2. We get the money.(Another example of Hairball's cheapness) 3. Thanks!
SolarGamer: 1. I designed it! 2. WE get the money your prick! Why else would we give you FREE webhosting? So YOU could get money? HA! 3. I do my best.
TWGamer: 1. Smiley designed it, and it was free (as far as I know) 2. Hairball does because he is greedy 3. Thanks!

Love your site (again) wrote:

Sorry, last time I forgot to ask who you bought your domain name from, also, do you run your own server or do you buy space? Again, love your site!

BeckerManEX: networksolutions.com to buy it, and we "rent" space.
Hairball: I bought my domain, sm64c.com, from Network Solutions for $35 US a year, and now I see a place that sells them for $15 a year, sigh. I do buy space.
Fox: We bought it from Network Solutions, and we rent space. Thanks again!
SolarGamer: I told ya...I did not have sexual relations with that lady.
TWGamer: I don't know where he got it from, you can get a free one at Namezero.com

inside of a boxed shaped box wrote:

Questions for you. 1. What is Mario's middle name? 2. What is Mario's last name? 3. What are Mario's parents' names? 4. Does Mario wear boxers or briefs? 5. Does Mario speak Italian fluently? 6. Was Italian Mario's first language? 7. Where does Mario live? 8. Does Luigi live with Mario? 9. How old is Mario? 10. Does Mario have any pets? 11. If Mario were a kitchen utensil, what kind of kitchen utensil would he be? 12. What types of music does Mario enjoy listening to? 13. What is it that makes Mario 'Super'? 14. Is Mario always Super?15. How did Mario become Super? 16. Do Mario's parents know that he's Super? 17. Are any of Mario's relatives Super? 18. When was Mario born? 19. Will Mario ever die? 20. Does Mario have genitals? 21. What is Mario's IQ? 22. What is Mario's favorite food? 23. Why do people like Mario so much? 24. Does Mario ever change his clothes? 25. Have you ever met Mario in person? 26. If Mario were a gardening tool, what type of gardening tool would he be? 27. Has Mario ever been in any non-Nintendo games? 28. If Mario were in any non-Nintendo games, would he be killed? 29. Is Mario real? 30. Is Mario based on a real live human being? 31. Is Mario really in my Nintendo 64? 32. Is there any female version of Mario? 33. Do you think there should be a female version of Mario? 34. Do the letters M-A-R-I-O secretly mean anything? 35. Does Mario spelt backwards (Oiram) have any meaning? 36. Is Mario a secret government conspiracy? 37. Was Mario created by the government at all? 38. Are we all Mario's slaves? 39. Is Mario God? 40. Am I insane? 41. Does Mario think I'm insane? 42. Do you think I'm insane? 43. Are you Mario? 44. Am I Mario? 45. Is Mario Mario? 46. Mario Mario Mario? 47. M A R I O ? 48. Mar mar, o ari mar, mario mar mari? 49. M? 50. A? 51. R? 52. I? 53. O? 54. What is the meaning of Mario? 55. If Mario fell in a forest and there was no one around, would he make a noise? 56. Which came first, Mario or Mario? 57. Is Mario in my closet? 58. Where does Mario begin? 59. Where does Mario end? 60. Is this Mario? 61. Is that Mario? 62. Are we Mario? 63. Are they Mario? 64. How many Marios does it take to put out a light bulb? 65. What is Mario's sexual preference? 66. Is Mario the devil? 67. Is Mario a part of everyone? 68. If Mario were a bar of soap, what type of soap would he be? 69. When you turn off a Mario game, where does he go? 70. Does Mario wear socks? The End. (Yes, there were supposed to be 120, but 70 is enough, right?)

BeckerManEX: Three words: Get a LIFE!
Hairball: I guess you left your brain in the toilet.
Fox: I don't have times to answer all these retarded questions. I can't believe you actually spent time writing these up.
SolarGamer: Go F*** yourself you father f***ing a**hole of a b*tch! We can trace what your e-mail address is and we ARE going to send you a VIRUS! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't ever send an e-mail through our site pal, especially a prank one. You don't know when, but you will get a VIRUS. hehehe! (oops I was cussing again, I am bad)
TWGamer: Get your parents to buy you a life this christmas

me myself and i wrote:

hi how are you im fine and you great and how cold is it up there not as cold as here cool well nice to know now shut up you little bastards

BeckerManEX: Uh...
Hairball: It's not cold here at all right now.
Fox: Another person for the mental hosptial
SolarGamer: answer
TWGamer: hey.

Wouldn't you like to know! wrote:

Hey sm64c dickheads, this site sucks dick. If you can point me to a site that is worse then this peace of shit, I will give you $100.00.

BeckerManEX: http://www.yoursitehere.com
Hairball: That assignment is quite easy. Just give me my money, and I'll show you.
Fox: Hello and thank you for you interest in SM64C. We always like to hear from fans of the site. We will be shipping you some free SM64C merchandise for you to enjoy.
SolarGamer: LOL this person has an oral fixation. Are you sure you aren't the one who sucks dick? Maybe you are in denial of your homosexual tendencies. Go back to your daddy little boy, I bet he is feeling a lot of tension :-).
TWGamer: Yay! I know one! http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Lair/9533/

Novias del infierno wrote:

Tu eres muy muy bonito. Quires salir a baylar con migo? O eres un muchacho que no tiene nada por alla abajo....te quiro mucho....besos. p.s. me encantan los juegos de mario.

BeckerManEX: You love Mario's balls? ahh!
Hairball: Apesadumbrado, no hablo español.
Fox: Su español es muy malo. Usted debe ir a la escuela y aprender cómo hablar a español apropiado.
SolarGamer: Me llamo Solar. C! Yo Quero Taco Bell!
TWGamer: I wish I knew the language

Yoshman wrote:

Don't get rid of those retarded Emails from the Email bag. They are the whole reason I read it, there's some crap in there, so what ever you do, don't lose the funny ones. If they are just plain stupid and not funny, you can lose those. ~Yoshman~

BeckerManEX: True, some are funny, yet some are strangely low-brow.
Hairball: Hey look, it's another retarded e-mail!
Fox: We will not get rid of the stupid ones. I find answering them quite ammusing.
SolarGamer: I wash myself with a rag on a stick. Ga hick!
TWGamer: Yeah, we'll keep the retarded Emails in the bag, like this one! (j/k)

British Babe wrote:

Hello, this letter is to the Spelling Police who wrote a stupid letter in your last email bag: My favoUrite coloUr is blue and my favoUrite flavoUr of ice cream is chocolate. Screw you. Hairball- thank you for posting this:)

Hairball: You're welcome.
Fox: For cripes sake! Who was in charge of doing the spell check? eh?...eh?
SolarGamer: Thnk y fr wrtng r mlbg u stpd mthr fckng btch! (ooops I cussed yet again!)
TWGamer: Nice one, keep the 'U' in coloUr!

*I refuse to give our personal information* wrote:

Um, hello, it's me again. I don't believe in posting my name on the internet, so just don't critisize me. I have a suggestion for a reader who wrote in asking how to beat the last Bowser- for the first 2 hits, you swing him really slow and just a tiny bit at a time. That way you're basically guarenteed to hit him. The third one is just luck, though, sorry. The technique also works for an eaaaaasy way to beat Bowser 1+2. :)

BeckerManEX: Thanks for the info.
Hairball: That technique does work well, but it's not hard to kill Bowser anyways.
Fox: Your not the only one who doesn't post there name. Yes that is the best way to beat Bowser!
SolarGamer: We tracked your e-mail address and we are sending you a VIRUS too! Take that!
TWGamer: wow! an A+ for observation there! you graduate on day one

Protoss Zealot wrote:

Hey, umm, I just wanted to know, if any of you guys are hot girls, and if you want me to stick my dick in ur butt. Also, have ever played starcraft. It's the best game, but it makes me really hard, those insectoid zerg sure are HOT! And and and and and...umm ur site sux, i hope it sux me though, i haven't gotten a good blow in a while. And my question is, why am i growing hair on my ballz. My balls are so hairy, i need to shampoo them now. o, but they taste sooooooooooo gooood. Lick my chocolate salty balls hairball, SUCK THEM DRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BeckerManEX: You don't play Starcraft, no one talking like that has ever played anyother game than "Spank the Monkey"
Hairball: Guys being hot girls? Ewww. Yes, I play StarCraft, it's quite fun watching Erich get attacked by the comps.
Fox: Please don't submit your recordings of you and your mom to SM64C!
SolarGamer: Hey this is a FAG e-mail bag! Go f*** yourself you ugly A**! We will send a VIRUS to you too. Ha Ha!
TWGamer: This mail should be on an XXX site. This guy needs to keep off the drugs

Kyle XX wrote:

In mario tennis there is a new character named Waluigi. He is like Wario but tall and skinny (like Luigi). Is there any relation between Mario+Luigi and Wario+Waluigi? are they all brothers? Hi! How are you all?

BeckerManEX: Yes.
Hairball: This relationship is quite weird. The Mario and Wario relation still hasn't been revealed yet, there are a lot of myths, and we don't know which ones are true. Just look at it this way. Luigi to Waluigi is as Mario to Wario.
Fox: Yes. donno. donno. I am fine!
SolarGamer: WaSolargamer Wasays Wathat WaI Wadon't Waknow Wa!
TWGamer: answer

inside of a boxed shaped box wrote:

1. You know what's fun? Not sleeping for as long as you possibly can, and drinking a lot of caffeine. It's like being awake and asleep at the same time! 2. I forgot what my question was. 3. They should make a game where you're Mario, and you die, so you go to hell. Then you have to get out of hell. Then once you're out of hell, you realize you left your hat there, so you have to get back into hell to retrieve it. Then you fight Satan just for the heck of it. Then when you finally defeat Satan, there's a really cool pong game where instead of a little pong ball you get to use Mario's head! And every time the head of Mario makes contact with something he'll say one of his corny little phrases like "Mama Mia!" or "Let's a Go!" until it drives you insane and you throw your Nintendo 64 into the wall. COOL HUH?!

BeckerManEX: How about you go to hell? That would be great for all of us here.
Hairball: You know what's fun, shutting the hell up.
Fox: 1. You get the same feeling from weed! 2. ok 3. You should submit that idea to Nintendo, and they actually might use it!
SolarGamer: This isn't funny anymore...ANOTHER JACK ASS! Hehehe lets humor him and say we are Nintendo ;-). We will make your game "box".
TWGamer: 1. Really, 2. duh, 3. oh shut up you freak